Finding Daddy

I sat on the bench on the pier, fidgeting frequently. I looked at Autumn’s phone for the fifth time to see time had only passed by in one minute, making it now 11:01. I sighed and placed the phone back in my skinny jeans’ pocket. I rubbed my bare arms that were revealed by my Motley Crue tank. Jimmy had texted Matt to find out where I should wait. Matt had told him at this bench right in front of the piece of the boardwalk that extended into the ocean.

“I should have had Autumn stay with me,” I murmured. After getting breakfast, Autumn had went back to the hotel to watch television until it was time to get me. Jimmy wanted us to come to his home and hang out, and possibly stay the night. He was like a teenager. No, more like a ten year old. But I guess we all needed something to take off our stress.

“Hey.” I tensed up as I heard the voice behind me. I tried to relax as he walked around the bench, sitting down next to me.

“H - hey,” I stuttered. It fell into silence at that point, a very awkward silence. I looked down at my lap, twiddling my thumbs. The sound of the waves hitting the wooden planks below us and seagulls chirping was heard around us. Besides that, the world was silence. I sighed, tucking a stray hair behind my ear.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Matt asked awkwardly.

“No, thank you. I already ate,” I replied quietly. Matt rubbed his neck and let out his own sigh. He looked over at me with a tired expression.

“Do you want to have a walk?” Matt asked. I nodded, standing with him. We headed down the pier. When we reached the end I leaned against the rail, watching the waves move in the gentle breeze. If I looked close enough I could almost picture turtles and fishes swimming under the blue water. “So how’s your mom?”

“A bitch as always,” I blurted out. He turned to me with a shocked face. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “She didn’t take my birth very well. She’s changed a lot since she moved away. She’s nothing like you could probably remember.”

“Sounds like it,” Matt murmured, staring off into the sea again. “I knew your mom since she was in kindergarten. We lived next door to each other. She was the sweetest person alive. I don’t know what happened to her.”

“She claims her life got ruined by me,” I replied, turning my gaze in the same direction as his. I chuckled. “It’s kind of funny, you knew my mom as long as I’ve known Autumn. Kindergarten ‘til death.”

“I figured Cameron and I would be the same way. Apparently not,” Matt spoke with a sour tone. It fell silent again. I was really getting tired of this silent shit, I cannot stand it. It felt like we were enemies and I wanted to be nothing of the sorts.

“So you never knew?” I asked quietly, my head turning to look at him. He returned my gaze, an appalled look on his own face. He stood straight and a frown was embedded on his lips.

“No, never. I wouldn’t abandon my child and it’s mother. Your mom and I dated for two years before she left. She told me her father had a job opening and they had to move. She never mentioned being pregnant. I love your mom, at least the one I used to know.” He suddenly gave a sad smile. “If I would have known about you, I would have never let Cameron leave. I would have loved you with all my heart. You were my baby girl, and I wasn’t there for you.”

The tears were pooling in my eyes and threatening to fall. I let out one sob before I was pulled into a strong, muscular pair of arms. I clung to Matt, sobbing loudly into his chest. It felt so surreal. I think I hated my mom more than I thought possible. He was a fucking sweetheart, he loved her. And she just left him. What the fuck would possess a woman to leave and not even tell her baby’s father?

After a few minutes I gradually calmed down. I still stayed in his arms though. He was lightly running his hands through my hair and it was honestly making me sleepy. Guess that’s what happens when you cry your eyes out. I breathed in deeply through my nose to get a whiff of some weird cologne, but it was nice. Very relaxing. Is this what kids felt like after hugging their father?

“Danielle?” I jolted up straight and wiped away at my eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry, I just - ”

“It’s fine,” Matt chuckled. “I was going to ask if you would like to meet my wife and son. I guess he’s your half brother.”

I smiled, surprised he had changed his mind so fast. And he wanted me to meet his family? Obviously that must be a good sign, right? “Sure.”

We walked together, his arm wrapped around my shoulders, to his Escalade. We both climbed up front and I felt like a midget in the huge chair. As he turned on the car, Pantera began to blare out of his speakers. I began to lip sing with the music as he headed towards his home. He chuckled, making me stop and look towards him. “I guess you like them?”

“I like loads of music,” I remarked, grinning widely. From then until we pulled into his driveway, we were talking about music choices. We agreed on all of each other’s music and that we didn’t like the new music under the genre ‘screamo’. I felt happy to know that at least my father and I had some common ground. You know, besides knowing my mom. And, obviously, we pretty much only knew different versions of her so it couldn’t really count.

As we pulled to a stop in front of Matt’s garage, I felt a lot more relaxed than yesterday. I still felt uncomfortable, though, knowing that this was where my father lived a totally different life than what I was used to. And a little part of me knew this might have been where I could have grown up if my mother would have stay in Huntington Beach.

“Danielle?” My head snapped from the house to Matt’s face which held a look of concern. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah. Just thinking is all,” I replied, forcing a smile on my face. It must have looked real since Matt smiled back. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me to the front door.

“Hey, Val! I have someone I want you to meet,” Matt called as we walked in.

“Aren’t you scared?” I whispered to him as he shut the door behind us. He gave me a strange look as if I had just suggested the sea was made of licorice.

“Why should I be?”

“Well, your wife doesn’t know - ”

“Hey babe,” Matt cut me off as a blonde began to walk down the grand staircase. She smiled at me but I could tell she was confused by my random appearance. Matt walked to meet her and gave her a quick peck on the lips. As they both turned to face me, Matt slipped his arms around her waist. “Val, this is Danielle. Danielle, this is my wife Val.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” I spoke with a nervous grin.

“You too,” she said politely. It fell silent for a few moments before Val broke it again. “How do you know Matt? You seem a little young, no offense.”

“Uhm…” I shot a look towards Matt, feeling unsure about what to say. Do I just tell her or…?

Matt noticed my hesitation and cleared his throat. Val turned her head to the side to meet her husband’s gaze. His face and tone was stern as he said, “She’s my daughter.”

Many emotions flickered through Val’s eyes. The ones that stuck out the most to me was betrayal and anger. I quickly looked down at my Toms clad feet, tears brimming my eyes. She already hated me. I was hated by my mother and my stepmother. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to have a mother figure.

“Danielle, why don’t you go in the TV room? Val and I need to talk,” Matt said slowly. As he finished, Val stormed off down the hall and then out a sliding door. We both winced as it slammed shut and vibrated in it’s frame. He sighed before turning to me with a sad smile. “She just doesn’t understand yet. She’ll come around, I swear it.”

I nodded before walking into the room Matt had pointed out. I hoped she did. Ruining a marriage is a bigger worry than I had when I was worried about Matt and Jimmy’s friendship. Once I heard the sliding door shut again, I took out Autumn’s phone and shakily dialed the hotel’s number. After talking to the perky woman on the other end of the line, I was connected to the hotel room. It only took three rings before Autumn’s chipper voice boomed down the line. “Hey Danielle! How’s it going so far?”

“Not that great right now,” I trembled out.

Matt’s P.O.V.

As I walked outside I could practically feel the anger radiating off of Val, even with my back to her as I shut the sliding door. I knew now that my answer to Danielle’s question earlier was stupid. I should be terrified by Val. I let out a slow breath before turning around to face my enraged wife. Her glare almost turned me to stone, I swear.

“Val, let me explain,” I said slowly. She didn’t let me explain first. Instead she began to shout at me. I was pretty sure Zack could hear her from their house.

“What the hell Matt? How did you expect me to react? A girl randomly walks in with you and you say she’s your daughter. Did you expect me to just act like everything was fine? That it didn’t even bother me?” She seethed.

“I was hoping you would,” I murmured. I could have sworn I saw fire in her eyes. If looks could kill I would be dead, six feet under, and then an extra ten just because she could. “She’s the real deal, Val. She showed me her birth certificate and everything.”

“Oh my God, Matt! This has nothing with me doubting she’s your daughter. She looks just like you, for Christ’s sake. And no, I don’t mean Johnny’s!” Val must have noticed my still confused face for she sighed angrily, running her hands through her hair and pushing it back from her forehead. “The problem is how she was conceived. She only looks three or four years older than Charlie. Did you cheat on me or what, Matt? I need to know if I wasn’t enough for you at some point in our relationship.”

“Oh Val.” My face softened tremendously as I saw her near tears. I stepped forward and pulled her to my chest. She tried to push me away and I sighed. “Stop fighting me, damnit.”

“How Matt? How?” She cried, going limp against me.

“I didn’t cheat on you Val. A year before we both started dating I went out with her mother, Cameron. According to what I found out, she got pregnant and moved away. I didn’t know until Danielle sought me out.”

Val sniffed and looked up at me, wiping her eyes. “Are you sure?”

I smiled softly and kissed her forehead. “I love you too much to cheat on you, babe. I wouldn’t dream of lying to you about something like this. I swear on my life, that’s the truth.”

Val laughed nervously, rubbing her eyes dry. “I’m sorry I’m so emotional. Work’s been hectic and I’m worried about Charlie and - ”

“It’s fine Val. Now, would you like to go meet your step daughter?” I asked with a smile.

“I’d loved to, just give me a moment. Go talk to Danielle though. I know I hurt her with the way I reacted.” I nodded, giving her one last hug before walking inside.