Finding Daddy

Johnny and I had driven to Dad’s house so I could pick up clothes in silence. Dad came to talk to me, to explain the situation again to me, emphasizing the fact it wasn’t my fault. Bella watched me sadly from the door as I slung my backpack over my shoulder. I patted her head with a sad smile and headed back downstairs. Johnny met me in the foyer and we silently drove to his home. Once we got there he showed me to the guestroom and promised he’d come get me in a few minutes for lunch.

I was now spread out across the bed with my face buried in the pillow. I forced myself not to cry, knowing it would do no good. And I was sick of crying. I felt so weak and vulnerable and it was getting annoying. I flipped onto my back, staring at the ceiling. I wish there was a way I could fix this whole situation I caused, but came out empty handed. The only way I could help it at all is to go back to Colorado, but there was no way I wanted to do that. I came too far and fought too hard to get Dad, I didn’t want to lose him again.

I sighed, sitting up in bed and slipping off the mattress. Locking myself up in this room isn’t going to help this at all either. I left the guest room and headed downstairs. I could hear Xavier fussing and Johnny murmuring something as I approached where I thought I had seen the kitchen. My leads were right; I entered the kitchen to see Johnny trying to bounce the recently woken Xavier on his hip while trying to get the pizza we were going to be eating out of the box. Needless to say, it wasn’t working that well. “Need help?”

Johnny turned to me and gave me a wide smile. “If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” I took Xavier from Johnny’s arms and began to coo to him in baby talk. He was soon happy and giggling as I poked his belly and blew raspberries on his cheek. I plopped down on a stool, placing Xavier in front of me. He was facing towards the island as I bounced him on my lap while his hands gripped my index fingers. “So where’s Lacey?”

“She had to go to work. Right as she left when we got back, Avie woke up,” he explained as he ran a hand through his hair, the pizza now waiting for the oven to finish preheating. Suddenly he was in movement, going from cabinet to cabinet to get different items. “I forgot about his formula.”

“No wonder he’s cranky. Daddy’s trying to starve you, isn’t he?” I cooed to Xavier. He obviously didn’t understand what I said since he began to giggle and talk happily due to my overly sweet tone. I laughed and Johnny smiled faintly, shaking his head as he poured the powder into the water in the baby bottle.

“Shut up. I’m still not totally baby savvy.”

“He’s nine months old, John.”

“I know,” Johnny sighed, placing his finger on the nib on the bottle, shaking the water and formula together. Xavier finally took notice of what his father was doing and began to get antsy, making him wiggle in my lap. I cooed to him and rubbed his back, hoping he’d calm down soon. “I’ve been the studio quite a bit and when I’m not Lacey is hovering over me or one of our mothers are. I barely get any alone time to try to help him by myself.”

“Then I think you should take care of Avie, Mr. Dad, while I get our pizza set,” I replied, slipping off the stool and walking over to him with Xavier on my hip. I showed him how to hold him correctly and how to hold the bottle. Johnny settled onto a stool, observing his son closely. As he did I popped in the pizza, setting a timer for twenty minutes. I then grabbed a spit up rag from the baby bag sitting on the counter, draping it on Johnny’s shoulder.

“What’s this for?” He asked curiously, staring at the blue cloth on his shoulder with a confused look.

“You’ll see in a bit,” I replied simply, smiling. He gave me a suspicious stare but dropped it. I looked around the kitchen, trying to not look like a worried hen in case that was what I was reminding Johnny of. I felt kinda bad he never had a chance to take care of Xavier on his own, but then again I could understand where Lacey was coming from. She was a mother, a first time mother on top of that. Autumn’s mom told me how hard it had been for her when Autumn’s brother was a baby. She was terrified to let her husband handle him in case the baby would just internally combust or something.

“So Johnny, no offense or anything, but why did Dad send me to you?”

Johnny had a thoughtful look, as if he were thinking on it himself. “Jimmy and Teri are celebrating their anniversary. Besides me, the only person he felt comfortable about you staying with was Zacky, but Angie’s sick so he didn’t want you to get sick too. And Matt thought you would appreciate having Xavier here as a nice little distraction.”

“Wait, why would he not want me to stay with Brian?”

“Michelle is out of town for a business meeting and he didn’t want Brian and Melody to kill you or drag you into their antics,” Johnny replied, cringing a little. I laughed. I guess father and daughter thought of some pretty mean things for pranks when left alone. I needed to remind myself to keep an eye on the two next time I saw them. Johnny set down the empty bottle on the counter and gave me a lost stare. “Now what do I do?”

“You’re going to hold Avie like this – ” I showed Johnny how to hold him on his shoulder and gently pat his back. “Now you’re going to keep doing that until he burps once or twice. Beware, he might spit up a bit, but that’s normal and why someone invented the spit up rag.”

“Thank God,” Johnny murmured, beginning to pat his son’s back. “How did you learn so much about babies, Danielle?”

“I actually used to volunteer at this daycare. It also had a nursery area and I just dealt with babies a lot since that’s the place they mostly needed help. To be honest, I want to be one of those ladies that work in the nursery of hospitals. What are they called? Certified Nurse Midwife, I think. They take care of babies but then they can also help doctors and stuff with deliveries,” I explained happily.

“I think you’ll be great at it,” Johnny spoke with a grin. Suddenly Xavier let out a large burp. When nothing else came up after a few more pats, I smirked.

“Looks like Avie has a better burp than his own dad.”

“Psh, keep dreamin’,” Johnny scoffed. He placed the spit up rag on the counter and let Xavier sit in his lap, facing him. “My little guy’s just a champ, huh?”

“Please don’t raise him to be the next World’s Champion Burper,” I whined, wrinkling my nose. Johnny laughed at me, also causing Xavier to giggle. It was cute. I bet if Johnny were to giggle – as strange as that would seem – they would sound identical.

“Fine. But he will become the next World’s Greatest Bassist!”

“What if he wants to become a singer?” I teased. Johnny frowned, looking down at his son who was contently tracing a finger over the silver material on his shirt.

“He can but only if he learns bass too.”

“What if he thinks it's lame?”

Johnny gave me a cold, blank stare. “Those words are never allowed to be said in this house.”

I laughed, holding my hands up in surrender. “I was just kidding. Calm down spikey.”

“Spikey? I would think Brian would fit that name better,” Johnny scoffed, bouncing Xavier on his lap as he began to whine at the lack of attention. “Especially since I hardly spike this thing up anymore.”

“Well, I can’t call you shorty since you’re taller than me,” I reminded, frowning at his Mohawk. Why did he still have the damn thing if he didn’t style it?

“Then I guess you’re stuck with no insulting names,” Johnny spoke with a grin on his face. He sighed as Xavier leaned up to lightly smack his cheek with his palm, whining and talking in his gibberish. “Fine, fine. I’m going to go ahead and put Xavier in his playpen. If you need me, I’ll probably be watching the baseball game or something.”

“Have fun,” I called as he left the room. I heard him say something but couldn’t quite hear what he said at all. I crossed my arms on the counter and laid my head on them. What was I going to do now? If Xavier and Johnny will be entertaining themselves – and I either couldn’t join in or I had no craving too – that left me to my own devices and none of them caught my attention. I guess I could read. I groaned, burying my face into my arms. “But I don’t want to do that.”

I heard my new ringtone for my text messages, the sound from Sonic when you pick up rings. I pulled it out of my pocket, resting one cheek on the island as I read the message. It was from Felix! I blushed, feeling stupid I got so excited about this kid I just met. Either way I was still smiling as I opened the text message.

Hey Colorado. Sorry about running off so quickly. How are you doing? :)

I mentally squealed. This guy was such a sweetheart and he was really fucking cute too. Doesn’t help he has the most adorable smile and dog I’ve ever seen. Once I got over Vincent’s size and whatnot, he is an adorable little sucker. I quickly looked around the kitchen, making sure that I hadn’t attracted Johnny in by any kind of sound that might have been produced from my thinking.

It’s no problem Felix. I’m doing pretty okay for the circumstances. How are you and Vincent?

I looked around once more before dashing up the stairs. I ran into the guestroom before slamming the door shut, jumping onto the bed and curling around my phone with my entire body as if it were my favorite stuffed animal. I had some real problems, not kidding. I personally think this is ridiculous but I can’t help myself. I hate crushes so much. I jumped a little when my text tone went off again. I grinned at the reply and quickly texted back.

This was insane.

Matt’s P.O.V.

I sat in the living room, a beer bottle – my fifth in the last twenty minutes – cradled in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. On the screen was some game that I hadn’t paid enough attention to even know what sport it was. The volume was almost all the way down, leaving emphasis on how quiet the large house was. To be honest I was only a beer or two away from being smashed. I wasn’t sure how much I had drank over the course of the two hours I had been sitting here, but it was enough to make the world sway as I sat completely still. I took another pull off my cigarette, slowly letting the smoke out. I stubbed it out with the multiple other yellow buds and leaned back, shutting my eyes. I took another pull from my beer before letting the empty bottle join its brethren on the ground.

I sighed softly as I heard a key sliding into the lock and turning it. When the definite click of the door opening echoed in the house I heard a ‘hello?’ follow after it. “Go away!”

I flinched at the sound of my own voice as I heard the door shut and footsteps head down the hall. Soon I heard them pause in the doorway. I cracked my eyes open to take in the outline of someone with short hair. “What the hell, man?”

“Go away,” I croaked again, closing my eyes. I heard the person sigh before walking away. They soon returned and began to pick up the trash. I only knew because I could hear a bag and clothes rustling, along with the empty bottles clicking together as they landed inside the bag.

“How did you drink this many by yourself?” The person scoffed, continuing to walk around in front of me to grab all the dark green bottles. “Eighteen? C’mon Matt!”

“Shut up already, Zack,” I murmured. If I really wanted to get lectured by an annoyingly protective person I would have just called my mom and told her everything I’ve done lately that she would frown upon. I didn’t need my green eyed friend to fill her shoes.

Actually, I didn’t need my green eyed friend in general right now.

“Aren’t you supposed to be watching Angie?”

“I asked Gena’s mom to come babysit for a while. She’s been complaining she’s wanted to see Angie for a while anyways,” Zack informed, tying the bag and placing it on the floor. “Now seriously, was this your best idea?”

“Shut it Baker,” I growled.

“No. You know, you really upset Danielle. Johnny called me to see if I could come get something for her since she’s terrified to see you in case you had spoken to Charlie recently.”

I had tried to, but Charlie didn’t seem to want to listen to me. I explain to him in detail about all that happened and he was still upset with me. Val had finally told me to just go home and they would try to settle it when they got back. Maybe a big family intervention is what we needed.

“I told her it’s not her fault,” I sighed.

“And you really think she believed that? She’s sixteen man, she’s not a fool. All she has to do is add the facts up and she knows she somehow had something to do with this,” Zack remarked. I cracked my eyes open to see him standing in front of me still. He had a very unhappy face on and hands on his hips. Yup, the exact same pose my mom used on me when she lectured me too.

“What are you, my mom?” I scoffed, standing to my feet. I tried to walk forward but swayed, having to lean on the couch arm to balance myself. I heard Zack sigh softly before grabbing my left wrist and draping it across his shoulders. His other arm wrapped around my waist as he began to help lead me to the stairs. I didn’t bother fighting him, knowing I would fall and pass out if I tried to go on my own again.

“So how are you going to handle this?” I didn’t think Zack was going to talk to me again since he had already helped me to my room and into bed. I shrugged, kicking off my shoes with my feet as I pulled my shirt over my head. The whole process made me feel nauseous but I felt a lot more comfortable as I leaned back onto my pillows.

I shrugged helplessly. “I guess I need to talk to Charlie until he understands.”

“And Danielle?”

“I don’t know.”

“You better find out man, ‘cause…” As Zack began to gripe at me I could feel myself losing consciousness. I didn’t know what to do with anything. I just wanted it to all work out. Maybe if Charlie and Danielle had another sit down. Yeah, the intervention thing I said earlier.

I got to set it up.