Finding Daddy

“Hey Danny?”

“Yeah, Dad?” I let the comic I was reading lay across my chest as I looked at my doorway. Dad was currently standing on the ceiling since my head was leaning over the edge of my bed. Really, its just some stupid thing I’ve done since I was little. I concentrated on comics better if I read them while I was upside down. Don’t ask how I found this out, I just did.

“The guys and I have to head out to an interview. Val’s at work and Charlie’s in his room. Maybe you guys can hang out today?” Dad asked hopefully. It had been a few days since Charlie and I put our differences aside and he was a really cool kid. We had tons in common and we liked to drive Dad insane. It was all in good fun and Dad just seemed ecstatic that Charlie wasn’t being hostile.

“No can do, pops.” Dad’s face fell and I chuckled. “Oh, stop looking like someone kicked Bella. Charlie has simply refused to talk to me until I finish reading his collection of The Walking Dead comics.”

And it was true. When I had told Charlie I hadn’t read any, he decided to take it upon himself to assign me homework. I was okay with it. I didn’t have much else to do and I read pretty fast. After three days of reading nonstop, I was already on one hundred and six out of one hundred and twelve.

“Well, then, I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Sure, Dad.” He stepped forward, kissing my forehead, before leaving again. I pulled the comic back in front of me and finished the last fifteen pages in silence. Once I was done, I added it to the tall pile next to my end table. The last six comics waited patiently on top of the end table. I frowned at them before looking at the clock. It was two thirty and I was pooped on reading for now. I rolled backwards off the bed before shoving my phone in my pocket and skipping down the stairs two steps at a time.

In the kitchen I ran into Charlie who froze, the large tray filled with cubed cheese in his hands. Val had brought it back from work since she knew about the weird obsession with them that she claimed ‘ran through the Sanders blood’. But the only problem was that we had promised Dad we would only eat it when he was there so we didn’t hog it all. Obviously Charlie and I had the same thought on stealing some while he had other matters to attend.

Charlie studied me for a little before slowly shutting the fridge door with his foot. “Don’t breathe a word to Dad?”

“Of course.” With that Charlie placed the tray on the island. We sat across from each other people taking off the lid and beginning to eat. “So what are your plans for the day?”

“Oh, y’know, just meeting up with some friends,” Charlie spoke with a shrug, popping two cubes into his mouth. I paused with one just outside my lips as I watched him fidget and avert his eyes. I smiled, lowering the hand holding the food.

“Is Mr. Sanders meeting a girl?” I teased with a grin. Charlie’s face began to heat up, but he refused to answer me. “You are! What happened to Hayley?”

“Please, she’s engaged,” Charlie scoffed, rolling his eyes. It was true. His big, frontwoman crush was engaged to her longtime boyfriend, Chad Gilbert. Honestly, Charlie took it better than we all thought he would. But then again, he must have already found someone he liked just as much.

“So what’s her name?” I asked nonchalantly, tossing the cheese cube into my mouth before placing the lid back on. I figured we might want to stop or Dad would get suspicious.

“Vanessa,” Charlie mumbled as I opened the fridge and placed the tray back in it’s rightful place. I grabbed a Jones Soda before shutting the door with my hip and smiling at Charlie. He was slightly hunched over and obviously trying to hide his red face from me.

“How did you meet her?” I questioned as I slipped back into my seat.

“We go to school together. She was my partner in science last year,” Charlie replied with a shrug.

“Didn’t you fail science?”

“She’s...sort of the reason why I failed.” His face managed to turn even redder. I cooed, making him glare at me. I raised my hands in defense, leaning back a little.

“I’m not judging you, man. I’d probably stare at her too if I liked her as much as you pro - ” I never got to finish my explanation because that’s when my phone began to ring with the chorus of Hit The Light’s “Speakers Blown”. I slipped the device out of my pocket and felt my eyes grow wide. Felix is calling.

“Who’s Felix?” Charlie mocked, seeing the name flashing on the screen. I felt my cheeks go pink as I glared at him.

“Don’t you need to go call Vanessa?” Charlie stuck out his tongue before leaving the room. I quickly answered before it would hit voicemail and cleared my throat softly. “Hello?”

“Hey, Colorado. I hope I’m not interrupting anything, but I was bored and wondering if you wanted to hangout?” Felix sounded very unsure of himself, almost hesitant. I, however, was practically bouncing off the walls. This is the moment I had been waiting for since I last saw him and it was becoming a reality. Was I on drugs? Maybe the cheese cubes had something in them. “Colorado?”

“Sorry, zoned out a bit,” I apologized, squeezing my eyes shut. God, I suck. “Yeah, sure! I can hang.”

“You sure?” Felix asked skeptically. Maybe telling him I was zoning out on the phone with him wasn’t the best idea. Stupid Danielle, really fucking stupid.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Sorry if I offended you or anything. I didn’t mean to sound rude,” I explained, sounding dumber and dumber to myself the more I talked. Maybe I should just curl into a ball and die now.

“Alright. Do you want me to pick you up?” I thought it over silently. Did I? Maybe Dad wouldn’t be too happy with me if I did have him come here. But at the same time, it was a hundred and six out, way too hot to be walking around Huntington. Besides, he’ll be angry I went to spend time with him unsupervised anyway, so why should I walk around before getting in trouble? So finally, I decided it would be most logical for him to come get me.

“Sure.” I rattled off the address before Felix bid me farewell, promising to be by soon. I began to pace in the hallway, very unsure of what else to do. I wonder how he would react to the house. It was a little over extraggevant. He’d probably think my dad’s a lawyer or possibly a drug dealer.

Or he knows your father is M.Shadows and just wants to know where he lives.

I froze at my inner voice. Dear God, what if that is all he wanted? He probably doesn’t care about me at all, he just wants to get close to Dad. And here I am letting him come to the headquarters. Wait, headquarters? Now I made this whole thing into some stupid ass mafia movie. Well, with Dad’s high neck authority, he was close enough to a don as it is. I need to stop thinking right now or I’m going to have an emotional overload.

“Er, Danny?” I looked up to see Charlie standing over me with a concerned look. It took me a moment to realize I was sitting on the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, and lightly rocking back and forth. I blinked a few times as I slowly dropped my legs into an Indian style and rubbed my neck awkwardly. “Are you okay?”

“Uhm, yeah. I’m fine.”

Charlie stared at me a bit skeptically before slowly walking past me and to the door. “Okay, well, I’m heading out. Try to be back around five-ish. Dad and the guys will probably be here by five-thirty or so. I’ll try to cover for you if you run late, but no promises.”

“Got it, thanks. Tell Vanessa I said hi,” I called playfully before he shut the door behind him.I didn’t hear his reply clearly but I could guess along the lines of what he said. Really, he had quite the mouth for a twelve year old. I leaned my head back against the wall, shutting my eyes and breathing in deeply through my nose. It’s going to be fine. I’m going to chill with Felix, I’m going to enjoy myself, and nothing is going to go wrong. Except maybe Dad’s wrath, but if that’s what it takes to enjoy myself for the day, so be it.

A sudden knocking was what pulled me out of my thoughts. I jumped to my feet and nearly face planted. I took another deep breath and check myself over in the mirror attached to the wall next to the front door. Deciding I looked as good as I ever would, I pulled open the door. There stood Felix looking so magnificent that I nearly cried. He was dressed in black skinny jeans (that still managed to barely hang onto his hips), a grey v-neck, and black combat boots. His hair was mostly covered by a black beanie and he just looked like the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

“Hello, m’lady,” Felix greeted with a half assed bow. I laughed, pulling a fake curtsey.

“Hello, good sir.”

“Alright. You ready to go?”

“Sure.” I stepped out onto the porch with him before locking the front door with my own key. We headed down the walkway to where Felix had parked in front of the house. It was a beautiful Impala and I was practically drooling.

Felix caught my eye and started laughing. “I know, chicks dig the car. The one thing I learned from Supernatural was that chicks will dig the car.”

“Supernatural, huh?” I chuckled good heartedly. I, myself, liked the show enough. And I didn’t want to admit it, but that was the first thing I thought of when I saw Impalas. “Did you look for this car just because of that?”

“Maybe,” Felix spoke with a shrug. He stepped up to his passenger door and held it open as I climbed it. I smiled before he shut the door and jogged around to his side of the car. Once he was in, he smiled at me again. “So what do you want to do today, Colorado?”

I shrugged lightly. “Whatever you wanna do.”

Felix was quiet for a moment before he began to grin widely, starting up the car. “Do you like fishes?”

“Yes?” At that moment the engine kicked in, music coming from the speakers and cold air blowing out the vents. I smiled, sinking back into the seat as we both clicked on our seatbelts.

“Well then, Miss Colorado, I have a surprise for you,” Felix announced. We were in the car for only about fifteen minutes, listening and talking about the Fall Out Boy CD in the stereo, before we pulled to a stop in a very large parking lot. It wasn’t that busy, but I could tell it was used to a lot of attention. Felix walked around to help me out and kept holding my hand as he led me to the building before us. It wasn’t until we were entering the building I saw the large banner in the lobby.

“The aquarium?” I squealed, bouncing on the heels of my feet. I’m sorry, I am the biggest sucker for aquariums and zoos. I could almost kiss the guy standing next to me. Who was still holding my hand, might I add. Felix turned to me with a cheeky grin.

“Yup. I was hoping you’d like it.”

“Definitely!”

“Well then, let’s get our tickets and go.”

- Time Lapse -

A couple of hours later, Felix and I found ourselves in the aquarium’s small cafe that was surrounded by fish tanks filled with bright fishes. We shared a helping of fries and pointed out fishes we liked. Within our time together I found out that we actually had a lot in common. Same music interests, we liked the same type of books and movies, we both aspired to be time lords, and we adored animals. And not once had he pried into my family life and I had respected his privacy to not get into his either.

I checked my phone and sighed. It was about five and I knew I needed to leave soon to beat Dad home. Felix noticed my look and frowned. “Time to get you back home, huh?”

“Indeed it is, Italy,” I sighed. I had found out he was Italian and decided to call him as such. He nodded, standing to toss out the last few fries and our empty soda cans. He slipped his hand into mine before leading me back to the car. In my available hand I was clenching the stuffed turtle he had bought me. I let it slip that I had liked them since I was little so he decided I wasn’t allowed to leave the souvenir shop until he had bought it for me. Together we had decided to name him Malachi.

In what felt like only seconds, we were parking in front of the house. Felix jogged around to my side to open my door and help me out again. We took our time walking to the front door in a comfortable silence. I was hugging Malachi to my chest, unsure of what to do or say. As embarrassing as it was, this was the first date I had actually ever gone on. Well, if it was counted as a date. I would think so.

“Well, Danielle.” My head jerked up, a bit surprised. I had never heard him call me by anything but Colorado the entire day. To be honest, I thought he didn’t know what my real name was anymore. Felix was smiling shyly, digging his toe into the walkway. “I had fun today.”

“Me too,” I said with a smile of my own.

He nervously looked towards his car before turning to me again, biting his bottom lip. Suddenly he leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to mine. I eagerly returned before a cough broke us apart. I slowly looked over to see Dad standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. Behind him I could see the guys looking unsure and Charlie mouthing ‘sorry’ to me. I turned to look at Felix and he just looked absolutely terrified.

“Who’s that?” he whispered to me.

“My dad,” I whispered back as we both stared at my father who stood unblinking and silent. Well, I think it was safe to say Felix did not know who my father was or he’d probably be stuttering an apology to ‘Mr. Shadows’ right now. Instead, he was slowly tiptoeing backwards. “Maybe you should go.”

“I think that’d be best,” Dad spoke. He said it with such a creepy calm that Felix simply nodded his head before heading back to his car. I gave him credit. By how tense his back was, I knew he wanted to run to the safety of his Impala, but he made himself walk to his car instead. I waited until he had left before elbowing my way into the house past Dad.

“Sorry. They came home early and I was trying to stall when you guys pulled up,” Charlie spoke apologetically.

“It’s okay. Thanks for trying,” I said earnestly. I could tell by how flustered he looked that really had tried to save my neck. Which, honestly, he shouldn’t have to do. But I knew I was going to get a whole rant on why it was irresponsible to go out with a stranger and get my brother to lie for me, anyways.

“Charlie, go to your room, please,” Dad said, giving no room for argument. Charlie took Malachi, promising to put him in my room, before he flew up the steps two at a time. Dad then turned to the guys. “I would like to speak to Danielle alone.”

The guys trekked into the kitchen as Dad turned on his heels, heading into the living room. I followed silently, the guys shooting me apologetic looks as I passed by. I kept my head high and plopped down on the couch that Dad stood in front of. As soon as I did, his blank stare turned into a glare. “So you guys are ‘just friends’, huh?”

“Do we have to do this?” I groaned. I was already through with this whole thing and we hadn’t even started. Dad’s glare seemed to grow angrier and I knew I was in the deep end now.

“Yes, we do, because you obviously don’t listen to me at all! Sneaking out and having Charlie cover for you? He’s finally come around and this is the first thing you do?”

“Technically, he offered.”

“I don’t care!” Dad shouting, interrupting me. “He shouldn’t have had to cover for you at all! You snuck out to go hangout with this delinquent!”

“Well if you would just let me spend time with friends, I wouldn’t have to sneak out!” I exclaimed, getting just as furious at him as he was at me. “And don’t call him a delinquent! He’s a sweetheart.”

“That’s probably exactly what he wants you to think.”

“Why are you so against him? You don’t even know him!”

“I doubt you do either.”

“Actually, I learned a lot about him today. He’s a lot like me. So are you saying I’m a delinquent?”

“Of course not,” Dad argued, beginning to get flustered.

“Then why the hell are we having this conversation?! If I can trust him, why can’t you?”

“Because he’s probably just using you!” Dad exclaimed. I stayed silent, glaring at him and challenging him to finish his thoughts. He took up the offer, beginning to pace before me. “It’s no secret who you are, Danielle. The interviewer we had today told us that multiple people had seen us together quite a bit and it’s not like name changing records are private. A lot of people know who you are and who you are connected to.”

“So you’re saying I’ll probably never have real friends, that they all will just want to use me?” I questioned calmly.

“Yes!”

“Well then, Dad, all I have to say is fuck you.” Dad blinked a few times, as if unsure of what I just said. Just to clear up any confusion of anything I might have said, I added, “Fuck you and your narrow minded views.”

“You’re grounded!” Dad exploded, a vein in his neck throbbing. I stood to my feet, heading for the hall, when his voice cut through the air. “Give me your phone, now.”

“Fine.” I took it out of my pocket before flinging it in his direction. It hit him square in the chest before falling to the ground. I didn’t even bother to see if it was damaged or to listen to Dad as he began to yell again, I ran up the steps and into my room. I slammed the door shut and turned on my stereo, A Day To Remember’s CD What Separates Me From You booming through the air. I picked up Malachi before hugging him to my chest and curling around him.

I blinked back tears that wanted to fall. I don’t care if Dad couldn’t see them, I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of making me cry. It was ridiculous that he would react this badly. I can remember enough stories that I’ve been told since I came to Huntington about the things him and the guys used to do. Felix wasn’t anything like that and yet he was a delinquent? That’s such bullshit. There was a soft knocking on my door and I held my breath. Barely, I heard, “Danny? It’s Jimmy.”

“Come in,” I called, my voice surprisingly strong. Jimmy walked in, shutting the door softly behind himself. He gave me a sad smile before walking over to my bed and sitting next to me, resting one foot on the opposite knee.

“I’m sorry about your dad. He doesn’t remember what it feels like to be your age. He just doesn’t understand,” Jimmy explained.

“It’s not your fault,” I said. What else could I say? I sure as hell didn’t see it from Dad’s point of view and I didn’t forgive him for the things he said. He wasn’t going to have my trust for a long time from this. It was a conversation that never should have happened if he trusted me as much as I did him. Now I guess we were both on even playing fields.

Jimmy looked down at me before lightly grabbing the chain around my neck. He studied the ring that was attached to it, narrowing his eyes in concentration. “Is this...?”

“It’s Mom’s,” I confirmed, nodding my head. “She never told me where she got it. She just tossed it into the trash one day and I stole it when she wasn’t looking. I liked it.”

“I remember this thing.” Jimmy breathed out a laugh. “I thought she would have gotten rid of it so long before you were even born. It’s like looking at a relic.”

“What is it?” I asked curiously, also observing it. Jimmy hummed, letting it fall back around my neck.

“I think I’ll let Matt tell you when he’s stop being an asshole. But look hun, I have to head out. I’ll probably be by later tonight, okay?”

“Fine,” I huffed, laying my head back on my pillow. Jimmy planted a kiss on my temple before leaving my room, shutting the door back. I picked the ring back up, turning it back and forth in my fingers. What was so special about this thing?