Finding Daddy

I tensed up and knelt down to where my butt was hovering over the concrete, hugging my knees. I felt my breath quicken and instantly cursed myself. I was having, for lack of better terms, a mini panic attack. I was diagnosed with anxiety and when I get too stressed and don’t take my medicine, like today, I get a small case of ‘not being able to breathe quite so great’.

I felt someone rubbing my back. “Calm down Danny, okay? You’re fine, nothing’s going to happen.”

Oh, I wanted to believe that, I really did, but my conscious thought otherwise. It told me that I was an idiot and I would probably die on my father’s property from a bad panic attack. That would look wonderful on the news. Any journalist will learn all about it when the paramedics found my birth certificate on me. That’d be a great way for my father to find out who I was.

“Hey.” I refused to look up. I simply focused on bringing my breathing back to normal. Slowly, but surely, it was. I knew Autumn looked up though; she wasn’t one to brush people off. Besides, one of us had to not look like a complete moron. “Can I help you two?”

“Uhm…” This is the part where Autumn turns her head to look at me before turning her attention back to the man. I know that’s what happened, I’m a psychic. Or it’s because I knew Autumn that well, take your pick. “To be honest, I’m not sure, sir.”

“Danielle!” I heard running feet and felt a presence in front of me. I slowly opened my eyes, since my breathing had calmed, to see Angie knelt in front of me with a frown on her face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m better now,” I spoke with a weak smile. I slowly returned to my full height and hesitantly looked up to face the man behind Angie. He was about Autumn’s height with a Mohawk that was flat. His brown eyes were shining with worry. “I’m sorry, we were just leaving.”

“But Danielle, I thought you had to see Uncle Matt,” Angie whined. That spiked interest in this man still standing before us, his eyes showed it. I cursed Angie for all she was worth. I would feel guilty for thinking it later, but I wish she would learn to shut the fuck up. I was hoping to just slip away and never return, but nope.

“Matt, huh?”

“No, we must just have the wrong house. I’m - ”

“No, we need to see him,” Autumn cut me off. I glared at her and the first time in years I was suddenly angry at my best friend. She held a poker face, not even looking at me. “Are you him?”

“No, I’m just his friend. I can take you to him though.”

“That would be appreciated.” I clenched my fists, looking away from my supposed ‘friend’. She was going to force me to do this, wasn’t she? Maybe later I’ll appreciate her for this, but right now I just want to choke her. I looked towards the front door of the house and saw a muscular man hovering in the doorway. Suddenly, another man pushed past him and stood on the stoop.

“Angie! What have I told you about talking to strangers?!”

"They're not strangers, Dad! That's Danielle and that's Autumn,” Angie argued, pointing to each of us, as he headed down the long driveway to us. He stopped next to the Mohawk guy and placed his hands on his hips.

“Smart ass. Now, can I help you guys?”

“We need to see Matt Sanders,” Autumn said sternly.

“No, we’re leaving,” I argued, heading towards the driver’s side of my car. Autumn grabbed my wrist tightly and glared at me.

“I’ve shut up and agreed with a lot of your decisions when I thought they were the stupidest things ever. But I refuse to sit by and not have you meet your father because you’re afraid. You’re too strong for that,” Autumn growled at me at a level that the others wouldn’t hear. I felt tears burn at the back of my eyes. I knew it was the best course of action, but I was just so scared. I thought I would be excited, ready to take it on with a confidence I would suddenly develop. I didn’t feel that at all.

“I can’t do this. I can’t.”

“You can and you will. C’mon Danny.” After staring at her for a few moments I nodded. I knew even if she had to toss me over her shoulder, I would be meeting my father today. Right now.

“Excuse me?” We turned to look at the new arrival, Angie’s father. He looked between the two of us curiously. If he was suspicious or anything of the sort from our conversation, he didn’t show it. Interest was all over his face, but in what way, I had no clue. “So, do you two need to see Matt?”

“Yes,” I said sternly, head held high. The two slowly nodded before Angie and her father began to walk back to the house. Well, technically Angie was skipping. The shorter man smiled at us.

“Well, I’m Johnny.”

“I’m Danielle and this is Autumn.”

“Well follow me and I’ll show you to Matt.” We nodded before following him up the driveway. He led us through the open door and I couldn’t help but feel out of place in the magnificent foyer. And this was just the entry. I was terrified of how the rest of the house might look. Johnny shut the door behind us before pointing at the first doorway on the left. “He’ll be in there.”

“Thanks.” We stepped into the room to see it filled with expensive looking furniture. It only had sitting stuff letting me know this was just a for-show living room. A muscular man stood from one couch and smiled, showing dimples in each cheek. I suddenly felt uneasy in the same room with him. I knew Autumn was beside me, but I felt so alone. It was like it was only him and I in the whole world.

“Hello, how can I help you?”

“Uhm, we might want to sit down for this,” I stuttered. He rose an eyebrow, but nodded, sinking back onto the couch he had been sitting on. We sat on the one across the coffee table from him. I looked to Autumn for her to nod at me. I took a deep breath before turning to back to the man I had been made to believe is my father. “Do you know a Cameron Edwards?”

“I knew one, yes. She went to school with me,” Matt confirmed, nodding. “But she isn’t with you, so I can assume this can’t completely involve her.”

“Not exactly. I mean, well...” I fell silent, reaching into the pocket of my hoodie and unfolding my birth certificate. I smoothed it out on the table before placing it in Matt’s already waiting hand. “You might just want to read this.”

His hazel eyes scrolled over the page, taking in every word. I began to fidget in my seat and bite my lip. It was silent, even as he slowly handed the paper back to me. He was a lot calmer than I would have thought he'd be. I took my time neatly folding the paper and putting it back in my pocket. He cleared his throat and looked me straight in the eyes. The only words to leave his mouth were, “how much do you want?”

I was taken off guard and my eyes widened in confusion. These were not the words I was ready for. I was prepared for screaming, denial, even excitement. But this? “Excuse me?”

“I know you’re just here for my money. Maybe quite possible the fame. Once in the same it seems. You think you’re the first to pull this?” my father spoke, a sickly sweet smile on his face. “Just tell me the amount of money I have to give you to give up this charade,” he said seriously, leaning forward. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands were intertwined together. His warm eyes had turned cold and were glaring at me. He still held the sickening smile, making it seem as though he was just patronizing me. My mouth fell open and I felt tears stinging my eyes.

“Th - this isn’t a cha - charade,” I stuttered out.

“I give you props for the crying act and the real looking document, but I’m not going to believe this. Cameron moved a long time ago, but it never stopped her from running her mouth to her so called friends here. She changed around the time she left. I still get kids saying they're her child and I’m the father. The joke’s getting real old. It’s been sixteen years and twelve different kids. I’ve grown numb to the lies.”

“But - I…” What could I say to prove to him I was his daughter? There was no way, that I was sure. Autumn wrapped an arm around my shoulders in silence. I looked at her to see her staring blankly at Matt.

“Thank you for your time, sir. Sorry to intrude.” With that she stood to her feet, gently helping me up. We both headed to the door as I desperately wiped at my eyes. Autumn paused and turned back around to face the man still sitting on the couch. He hadn’t moved an inch and was still staring at us with uncaring eyes. “It’s a pity you can’t get your head out of your ass and see what’s in front of you. You're losing a very special girl who is your daughter. Keep your fucking money, you prick.”

Together we walked out of the living room. I noticed Angie, Johnny, and a man with spiky hair all hovering next to the doorway. They instantly looked guilty and opened their mouths to probably say apologize, or maybe even mock us, but we left before they could say anything. As we walked down the long driveway, a lone figure was walking towards us. He frowned and stopped. Something about him made me stop too.

“My god, Cameron?” the man whispered. I sniffled and rubbed at my eyes to get rid of the tears.

“How do you know my mom?” I choked out. Autumn looked curiously between me and the man. He smiled and stepped forward, taking me into his chest. I froze up and slowly, yet awkwardly, hugged him back.

“She was my best friend. You look just like her,” he whispered. Suddenly he let go and laughed awkwardly. “Sorry, this is very strange of me. I’m Jimmy.”

“I’m Danielle. This is my friend Autumn.” She waved before letting her arm drop back to her side. I could tell she was still fuming over the conversation we just had with Matt. I didn’t blame her. I still wanted to scream and cry and throw things. But this man...there was just something so enticing about him. And he knew my mom!

“Well, what are you two doing here?” Autumn and I shared a look before I looked back at Jimmy.

“This was actually all just a big mistake. We were just leaving,” I spoke up. Jimmy frowned before a bright smile took over his face again.

“Well, I want to talk to you if you’ll still be in the area. I want to hear about my best friend and her daughter and her friend,” Jimmy said happily. I smiled and nodded.

“Sure. Just put in your number.” Autumn handed him her phone and he quickly typed it in, the second little ding of the day to let us know the number was saved. As he handed Autumn back her phone, he grinned.

“See you later.” He gave us each a hug before walking up to the Sanders house. This might have worked out for something then.