Thin

"damn, bitch, yeh gonna eat all that?" Cody, one of the popular boys, asked. I had just left the lunch line and past his table, but he stopped me. I looked down at my tray. There was barely anything on it. It was my senior year and I was around 140 pounds. A lot of people kept telling me how "thin" I've gotten and that I looked great. I thought I looked repulsive. Even though I looked so "great," I was still known as the fat girl, I still got made fun of, which led me to believe the nice people were just trying to make me look stupid.
I shook my head no at the boy and continued to look down quietly.

"Sorreh, don't understand that. Speak up." She shouted, causing the whole cafeteria to go silent as they watched. I still said nothing.

"Stupid, sat bitch." He flipped my try up and shoved it against my chest, getting good all over the new light pink sweater I had bought just the other day.

"Aye!" I heard Oli yell as he ran up. Cody and his friends stopped laughing and backed up a few steps.

"Leaver her alone." He took the tray from me and sat it on a nearby table. Matt ran up with napkins and Oli tried to get the food off, but it was no use. My new, favorite sweater was ruined and I only got to wear it once. I took a few steps forward toward Cody.

"Fuck yeh." I swung my fist as hard as I could and punched Cody in the face. his head snapped back and he grabbed his nose. Blood was already pouring down from his nose.

"I'm bleedin'! I think yeh broke it!" He cried. I smirked.

"Good. yeh owe meh £50 for that sweater, cunt." I took Oli's hand and followed his out of the cafeteria. Luckily, he had an extra shirt in his locker.

That was the day I started standing up for myself. It was also the day Oli and I truly became close friends.

I exhaled smoke after I took a puff from my cigarette. I stared up at the dark sky and watched the stars. Oli's hoodie was surprisingly enough to keep me warm, so I stayed outside a little longer on the balcony. I was now on my third cigarette.

Oli and I were fighting more and more each day. I knew for sure he knew about my anorexia and was surprised when he didn't send me to rehab immediately. He said he could help me himself, and I believed he could. He's been helping me eat a little more every day, even if it caused a fight. I ended up doing it any ways. He made sure I didn't throw it back up. He's also been limiting my work out times. I got irritated a lot, but I knew he was trying to help and he really was starting to. I wanted help, but I didn't want to gain any weight.

Today was a good day, though. We haven't fought, even when he made me eat breakfast this morning. For lunch, he let me eat just half an apple like I wanted. The rest of the day, we laid on the couch and watched movies since neither one of us had to work or anything.

I finished off my cigarette and decided it was time to go back inside. I stood up and walked back inside. I sat down beside Oli on the couch and curled up against his side. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed me quickly, making a face because I smelt and tasted like an ash tray.

We weren't necessarily a "thing," not officially, but he acted like we were. I just went along with it to see if it's really what I wanted. Of course, I loved Oli, but our past still haunted me and I was testing to see if I could be with him and get over the past. So far, it wasn't that bad. I never really thought back to the past that much. Oli had already told me he wanted to be with me. I guess he was just waiting for me to confirm us being together, because he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. He knew the past was still a problem with me. I was slowly letting it all go, though. I didn't hold grudges, not really, but it still hurt.

"What took yeh so long?" He smiled down at me as he paused the movie.

"I wanted teh see the stars." I laid my head against his shoulder and stared up at him. I didn't smile back as I stared at his face. Oli was an extraordinary person and he ceased to amaze me with anything and everything. I guessed that's why I loved him so much. He rubbed his nose against mine lightly, causing me to laugh, then he kissed my cheek.

"Ally, will yeh do meh a favor?" He whispered as he laid his forehead against mine with his eyes closed.

"What is that?"

"Will yeh eat somethin' now? I know yeh ate breakfast, but yeh have teh start eatin' right." I moved his hair back out of his face and bit my lip. I didn't really even think before I replied.

"Sure." His eyes shot open and a grin spread across his face as he moved his face away from mine. He kissed my cheek again then got up and pulled me into the kitchen. I sat down at the island quietly and watched as he moved around the kitchen as he made us something to eat. I stayed quiet as I wondered what the Hell I had just agreed to. I could have said no, but I didn't. I knew the reason was because I just wanted to make him happy as much as possible.
A few minutes later, Oli sat down a small salad in front of me and sat down with his own. My salad contained no meat, neither did his, but mine also didn't have any dressing, because he knew I didn't like it in the first place. Plus, it just added on to the calories.

"I made it small, but yeh don't have to it it all." He gave me a smile before he started eating. He wanted me to eat, but he wasn't one of those weird people who stared at you until you took the first bite.

Oskar padded into the kitchen and started barking as Oli. Oli stood up from the island and started putting food out for him. I ate quietly and slowly, taking small bites. I ate about a fourth of the salad before I felt Oli's hands on my shoulders.

"Thank yeh, Ally, realleh, Yeh don't have teh eat any more, if yeh don't want. I just wanted yeh teh eat somethin'. I'm glad yeh made a little progress." I stood up from the table and face him, He smiled and cupped my cheek then kissed me. I kissed him back and nodded,

"I love yeh, Oli, and if this is what makes yeh happeh, then I'll try." I was telling him the truth, but I knew it would take some time. I didn't know how long though. In all honesty, I was starving. I had been for a long time. I wanted to finish the salad, but I couldn't let my self. It was too much. I wanted to eat and make him happy, but I want to be thin and make him happy.

I threw the rest of the salad away and put my plate away before I followed Oli into his room. We've made it a habit of sleeping in the same bed when we weren't ready to rip each others throats out. I got my sleep clothes out of his dresser and stripped myself of my current clothes. I pulled my sleep pajama pants on and felt a finger run down my spine.

"Ally, love, I know yeh don't see what I see, but I'm not lyin' teh yeh. yeh so small now, it's scareh. I don't want yeh teh die from starvin' yehself." His voiced cracked at the end and I heard him take a deep breath. I quickly pulled the over sized t-shirt over my head and turned around to hug him. He held me close to him and kissed my head.

"Oli, don't. Please. Yeh'll make meh feel even worse. I'm sorreh. I told yeh I would try teh improve. I won't die either way, I promise." He didn't say anything as he let me go and stripped down to his boxers. We crawled into bed and he pulled me as close as possible.

Right before I fell asleep, I heard him whisper. "I love yeh, Ally."