Ballad of Mona Lisa

[Lisa's P.O.V.]
*3 days after leaving the hospital*

Things were starting to calm down after everything that happened. I started therapy two days ago, and although the lady wasn't getting into dirty details yet, I could just tell I would hate it, considering I
have to go 6 times a week. I hadn't been in school in like a week, and Brandon, and I weren't going back for another week so we were just doing a little work here and there so it wasn't that bad.
I decided not to tell my mom about me and Brandon being 'together', because I knew she would think I was rushing things, and freak out. Brandon really has done so much for me in these few short days, and he's being so patient with me, but I feel bad I'm not 100% committed with him yet. I'm still so uneasy about the whole relationship thing, and I haven't told him I'm uneasy yet.

Today was my day off from therapy so Brandon was over my house and we were in my room watching t.v., and cuddling. We heard my mom coming upstairs, and we separated from each other slightly. My mom came in the room looking professional, and holding a folder of paper.
"Where are you off to?" I asked sitting up.

"I'm going to talk to the lawyer about your case, and see what we can do to get Andrew locked up longer, by charging him with rape. Today is just the legalities of it, but tomorrow you're going to have to come with me and talk to the lawyer about what exactly happened." She said in a very serious tone. After the hospital my mom became very serious, especially about her rehab, and I was really proud of her.

"Okay...Can Brandon come?" I asked looking at Brandon.

"Yeah he's going to have to. He has to tell his side of the story too." She said also looking at Brandon.

"Is that alright with you Brandon?" She continued.

"Yeah anything I can do to help." He said smiling at me which made me smile.

"Okay perfect, Ill be back in about an hour or so. Theres food in the fridge bye." She said walking out the door.

"You sure you're okay with going?" I asked holding his hand.

"Yeah I want him to get what he deserves, and I want to give you peace of mind." He said kissing my forehead, and wrapping his arm around me.

"Thank you Brandon." I said kissing his lips. He pulled me in gently and kissed me more sensually. His hands were kindly exploring my body, and I was running my hands up, and down his back and sides. His tongue pushed on my lips, as if it was knocking and requesting entrance into my mouth, and I let him in. Suddenly Brandon stopped, and put his hand on my face. He looked into my eyes, and I looked into his. He came closer and put his mouth by my ear.

"You know I love you right?" He whispered in my ear causing me to get chills, but not good chills.

Suddenly I started thinking about one time I was in Andrew's bedroom, it was right after he had raped and hit me one time. I was laying in his bed lightly crying, and I was turned away from him. He came up from behind me grabbing my waist, and putting his mouth near my ear, and whispered the same thing "You know I love you right?". I cringed when he said it and nodded my head, but when Brandon said it I just cringed.

I sat up in my bed, and looked away from Brandon. Why did I nod my head, and accept the lie, from Andrew, but couldn't look at Brandon, and accept the truth? Why am I so fucked up?
"Lisa...?" Brandon said sitting up and putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Just please be patient with me..." I said crying slightly and still not looking at him.

"Lisa what's wrong?" He said trying to turn me towards him, but I nudged away from him.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked getting choked up.

"Now you. Him. Listen babe I know I love you but we have to slow down until I'm okay. Right now doing things like kissing, and holding just make me think of Andrew. I'm not doing it on purpose, but I just can't stop thinking about what he did to me."

"I understand Lisa.. I'm sorry I made you feel like that."

"It's not your fault, don't be sorry." I said turning towards him and hugging him, he held me tight. It was nice to finally be able to speak about what I was feeling, and say the truth. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings too much.

[Brandon's P.O.V.]
I feel like shit. How am I supposed to feel that everything I do reminds her of him? Why can't she just forget him, and realize I'm not him! It makes me sick to my stomach that every time I touch her a certain way, or say a certain word, she's going to think about him, and not me. I'm usually not a jealous person, but this is different. I love Lisa, and I hate to sound selfish, but I want her to just think about me. I hope once he's locked up she'll be better.

We spent the rest of the day just laying in her room watching movies, and hardly talking. I knew she felt uncomfortable with me, and I wanted it to stop.
"Do you want me to go?" I asked sitting up.

"No why do you think that?" She said looking at me with concern.

"I feel like you don't want me here."

"I'm sorry if I gave that impression, but I need you to stay."

"Why?"

"Because I need you right now."

"I know you need me here, but do you want me here? Or do you not want me here, and you're too upset to be with out me?" I said getting choked up.

"No Brandon! I want, and need you. You don't understand I can't just forget this shit! These past 6 months have been really traumatic for me! I need you to understand my craziness for just a little bit."

"Okay I'm sorry I just feel bad about all of this."

"Don't just help me." She said with tears in her eyes.

"I will." I said hugging her, and she kissed my cheek.

"Thank you Brandon." She whispered in my ear, still holding me. I wanted to help Lisa I really do,
but I don't know if I can put up with always being second on her mind for much longer.