Status: ONE SHOT

Numbing the Pain Will Make It Worse When You Finally Feel It

No! No!

“No! No! it can’t be , it just can’t!” I yelled with a broken sob while holding my sobbing wife , Arabelle close. Shaking my head to the doctor, “ You must’ve mixed up her file, it can’t be true it just can’t.” Tears were now blurring my vision. I heard Dr. Andrews say, ”I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. O’Brian, but Arabelle has stage four breast cancer.” Trying to compose my sobs I begged Dr. Andrews, “Isn’t there anything you can do?” He sighed before giving me even worse news,” I’m sorry but its progressed to far, the only thing we can give her is pain meds to help.” I couldn’t hold my sobs anymore. For a good thirty minutes My wife and I sobbed holding onto each other in Dr. Andrews’ office.

After an hour drive that seemed to be a lifetime , Arabelle and I were home. How were we going to tell our children that Mummy’s dieing? I was suddenly grateful that the kids were at “Uncle” Adam’s today. When we got into the house, Arabelle and I just laid in our bed, cryong and holding each other as close as possible. We finally cried ourselves to sleep that night. The next morning we had to tell our little boys that Mummy was very sick. How do explain something so awful as the death of their mother to a ten year old and a five year old? How do you explain that to them? Finally at lunch we explained the best we could. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sound of my two boys’ broken hearted sobs begging that they would be good boys if it mean their Mummy would be better. I’ll never forget it.

It’s been seven months from that day. I’ve been secretly drinking to help numb the pain of everything. I don’t think anyone’s noticed. I think all they see is a grieving husband trying to help his wife that barely sleeps, well that’s at least what I hope what people see. I know I shouldn’t be drinking, I mean I could lose my boys, and they’re the only things left to remind me of Arabelle when she goes. Yet I can’t help but always turn to the bottle it just numbs me from everything. It numbs me from watching Arabelle slowly waste away, it numbs me from not seeing my kids laugh or smile, it numbs me from the fact that my one true love is going to be gone forever.

She finally died tonight. My Arabelle died. My wife of twenty years died, at the tender age of thirty-nine. I haven’t touched the bottle yet. I feel as if I need to, that it would somewhat help with this unbearable pain. Oh god she’s finally gone. Why did this happen to her, why couldn’t I have gotten cancer and died. Not my precious Arabelle. Oh God! I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much pain. She’s gone! Forever! I will never hear her bell like laugh, see her amazing smile, or or hear her say I love you. Oh God! Why? Why? WHY? Tears just keep falling down my face. I can’t stop crying. My heart feels as if someone just tore it out of my chest. She’s gone! I can’t believe it, my Arabelle’s gone. I’ll I’ll never get to grow old with her, I’ll never get to watch our boys grow up with her. I never thought one person could feel so much pain. This shouldn’t have happened to her. Not her! She was an amazing wife, a fantastic mother, my best friend! She was kind, intelligent, loyal, brave, generous, just amazing. She didn’t deserve this! She didn’t! I I can’t belive it.

“Numbing the pain will make it worse when you finally feel it.” – Albus Dumbledore
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I hope you all liked it. I haven't really read that many stories or one-shots through the husbands point of view when tragedy strikes. So I thought I would. I was on the writing prompt page on the message bored. I saw the quote from Albus Dumbledore as a prompt and once I saw the prompt I knew I had an Idea for it. Also I would like to dedicate this to anyone who has dealt with any kind of cancer personally or has had someone in their family have it. I know what it's like to have a family member with cancer and I know it's (for lack of a better word) tough.