Status: Active, hopefully finished in two weeks
Fire and Rain
Addicted to the Love of Pills
Dearest Sweetheart,
For the longest time I always thought I would be able to turn to you. I just got your letter in the mail this morning, I can't believe it took so long to send to me this time. It was a week late. Usually I get your letters a few days after you send them. I wonder what happened?
I hope you didn't forget because you were high again. You know how I feel about you crushing up those pills and snorting the powder everyday. It hurts baby, I can't help you until you'd like to help yourself. We've been over this topic so many times, I don't see why you just can't quit. You have so many times before. You are stronger then the pills, I know this. I know it hurts, but you only hurt for a few days. Then the pain is gone, you know this better then I do.
I have to be honest with you about something. I didn't know how bad addiction could be until I tried pills myself. You never knew that I was addicted because I went behind your back about it. I lied to you and said I was out seeing the boys but really, I was high. You couldn't even tell, could you? I'm hooked on pills again. As I write this I'm eying up the line of pills I crushed earlier today. There's a little voice inside my head that tells me I need to do this but my heart keeps telling me no. The reason I'm telling you this because I feel like I no longer have any control over my life. You were my only control and I need you back right now. I need you back.
The only reason I hid the pills from you is because I didn't want you to get mad at me. You were the only reason I was able to stay sober for weeks on end and stay away from the pills. But, now that you're out of town my sobriety is gone, my strength to say no is gone like wind. With you in rehab now, there is nothing left to stop me.
All the people that made you go to rehab had know idea that you were my rehab. My strength and so much more. You were my only reason to stay sober, I had to so you would too.
You are the rain to my fire baby. You have the ability to extinguish the burning desire to do another pill. You are the sunny days that I thought would never end. When will I be able to see you again?
I need to get sober and kick this nasty habit.
Love you lots,
James xoxoxoxo
For the longest time I always thought I would be able to turn to you. I just got your letter in the mail this morning, I can't believe it took so long to send to me this time. It was a week late. Usually I get your letters a few days after you send them. I wonder what happened?
I hope you didn't forget because you were high again. You know how I feel about you crushing up those pills and snorting the powder everyday. It hurts baby, I can't help you until you'd like to help yourself. We've been over this topic so many times, I don't see why you just can't quit. You have so many times before. You are stronger then the pills, I know this. I know it hurts, but you only hurt for a few days. Then the pain is gone, you know this better then I do.
I have to be honest with you about something. I didn't know how bad addiction could be until I tried pills myself. You never knew that I was addicted because I went behind your back about it. I lied to you and said I was out seeing the boys but really, I was high. You couldn't even tell, could you? I'm hooked on pills again. As I write this I'm eying up the line of pills I crushed earlier today. There's a little voice inside my head that tells me I need to do this but my heart keeps telling me no. The reason I'm telling you this because I feel like I no longer have any control over my life. You were my only control and I need you back right now. I need you back.
The only reason I hid the pills from you is because I didn't want you to get mad at me. You were the only reason I was able to stay sober for weeks on end and stay away from the pills. But, now that you're out of town my sobriety is gone, my strength to say no is gone like wind. With you in rehab now, there is nothing left to stop me.
All the people that made you go to rehab had know idea that you were my rehab. My strength and so much more. You were my only reason to stay sober, I had to so you would too.
You are the rain to my fire baby. You have the ability to extinguish the burning desire to do another pill. You are the sunny days that I thought would never end. When will I be able to see you again?
I need to get sober and kick this nasty habit.
Love you lots,
James xoxoxoxo