I Myself Am Strange and Unusual

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, the room was dark, only the sound of the heart monitor breaking the silence.

Pain shivered down my body every time I attempted to shift my position on my bed. Only one thought ran through my mind:

This. Fucking. Sucks.

"I can't believe I can't even do tha' right," I mumbled to myself. The thoughts of the accident were haunting me. I was still pissed that I had made it.

"You look like a sour puss," someone whispered.

"What?" I asked, looking in the direction of the noise. In the far corner of the room, a small shadow lay heaped upon a chair.

"You look mad at your thoughts." The voice belonged to Audrey. I let out a sigh of anxiety. I guess I was still on the edge with my anxiety.

"Maybeh I am."

"I think you're just mad that you have to face your problems now."

"What do yeh know," I whispered back. She didn't know me and frankly at this point, I didn't even know me. I sighed as silence grew among us. "Why are yeh here?"

"'Cause I had nowhere else I wanted to go or needed to be."

One thing that always had me off-guard with this girl was that her answers always seemed straight to the point and very matter-of-factly. I've never really talked to anyone this blunt before. "Well, why are yeh still awake?"

"'Cause your heart monitor is keeping me up. The annoying this keeps beeping," she grinned.

I laughed. "Oh well, fanks. I'll just stop breathin' juss so yeh can get some rest, aye?"

She nodded her head, a smile on her face. "Finally."

She seemed so smiley on the outside. I could only wonder what would bring her down so much that she would feel the need to intentionally harm herself. I wanted to ask, but she said I would talk when I was ready to talk about what I did, I assumed she would eventually do the same. Maybe she would even share them with me.

The idea of her sharing those thoughts with someone else frightened me to say the least. Only someone as mentally fucked up as you can understand anything you say. Maybe she'd let me understand her. I am, after all, pretty fucked up.

I wish I could help her now.

"Audrey?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Can yeh come 'ere fo' a second?"

I heard her seat shift before her shadow padded over to my bedside. A groan escaped my lips when I tried to sit up. "No, no." She gently placed her hands on my shoulders, pushing me back onto the bed slowly. "You have a broken rib, remember?"

"How could I forget?"

She smiled lightly and watched me, waiting to see the pain leave my face. After a few deep breaths, the pain subsided and I smiled back at her.

She didn't ask why I called her over. She didn't stare at me awkwardly. She just stood there, smiling and waiting. I eyed her carefully as my one good hand slowly reached over for her hand. I paused briefly and made subtle eye contact with her. Gently, I wrapped my hand around her small wrist and pulled it towards me.

Audrey didn't flinch nor falter. She simply just watched. I brought the anterior side of her wrist to my mouth, kissing it a few time subtly before enlacing my fingers in her own and bringing them away from my mouth.

My eyes traveled back up to hers where a small smile lit her lips. I spoke gently, "this will heal one day."

Audrey sat down next to me on the bed and brought her free hand up to my face, moving a few hairs out of the way. She leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "This too will heal one day."

I watched her body twist as she gently laid down next to me. She moved my arm so it was behind her head before finally letting go of my hand. She audibly sighed and relaxed into my arm.

It took my medicated brain a few moments to process what happened. "Is this weird?" I finally asked.

She shifted her position slightly before answering. "No, why would it be?"

"Yeh don't even know a lad and yeh lay in bed wiff him?"

"You're Lee Malia, play guitar for Bring Me The Horizon, never shut the hell, ask one million questions, and your blood type is B positive. How much more do you want me to know?"

Touché. "But I don't know you."

"Then I guess you're just a whore."

I chuckled. "I didn't know it was so easy to get yeh into bed."

"Yup, you caught me. My name is Audrey Rose Shapiro and I am a slut."

"I knew it," I laughed again. It felt so weird to laugh and smile so much. My body shivered as another wave of medication shot through my body.

Blame it on the medication, but I was feeling bold tonight. I moved my arm with the IV drip slowly as to avoid as much pain as possible. Gently, I placed my hand on Audrey's waist. My lip quaked in nervousness. I may be drugged up, but I was still slightly sane.

I traced small circles on her so as to keep myself calm and concentrated. "I'm a science nerd," Audrey whispered.

"What?"

"You said you didn't know me, well, now you do."

I smiled, "smart bird yeh are."

"Smartest whore you'll ever know," she chuckled.

I found myself leaning in and kissing the back of her head. "I'm sleepy," I mumbled.

"Go to bed then."

"I'm not going to bed until yeh do."

"You're a child," she laughed. "I'm going to bed now."

"No yeh not. My heart monitor is still goin' off, and yeh said yeh couldn't sleep 'cause of it."

It was almost inaudible, but my ears caught it. Her small voice whispered, "but now I can hear your actual heart beat. That's much more soothing."

I kissed the back of her head again. "Fank yeh fo' layin' wiff me."

"Thank you for not dying."

My brows furrowed as a small laugh escaped my lips. "Yeh a strange lass, but yeh are welcome I guess."

"Take me to England with you."

"Alright," I answered without thinking. I didn't need to think about it to know that I wanted her to come home with me. I knew I wanted her to come with me hours ago. I wanted to show her the world.

I heard her breathing even out and I sighed, bringing my body closer to hers . She was asleep finally and I took advantage of this. I buried my head into her hair, taking a deep whiff of it. I sighed as I started thinking back to all my friends back in England. One horrible thought kept coming back into my head against my tries to keep it out. It would prevent me from sleeping tonight, and many other nights to come.

What the hell was I going to tell my girlfriend?