I Myself Am Strange and Unusual

"Lee! Are yeh-... who's this!" Sarah yelled, stomping into the room. "I come to visit my boyfrien' to see anothah woman in his bed! What the hell is wrong wiff yeh! Yeh stopped payin' meh bills, yeh barely call me when I let yeh go to America on 'family' business, yeh come 'ome and don't even tell meh, and when I finally come ovah, there is anotha woman in our bed? I can't belie-"

"Shut up!" Audrey yelled.

My eyes went wide as they flashed back and forth between the crazy supermodel in the doorway to the small girl laying beside me.

Sarah's eyes narrowed, focusing intently on Audrey. "What did you say?"

Audrey slowly and carefully climbed out of the bed, straightening her clothes while she did so. "I said shut up. You don't even know me, so you can't make any conclusions on what Lee and I were doing."

"Yeh stupid cow bag!"

"And another thing," Audrey interrupted. "I would like to be introduced to the person yelling at me. Who are you?"

"I'm Sarah, Lee's girlfriend. And who are yeh? A fuckin' groupie?"

Audrey smiled menacingly at Sarah before extending her tattooed arm out. "Hi, I'm Audrey. Lee's sister. Nice first impression you gave me."

Sarah's eyes widended. "Oh my gosh. Yeh his sistah? I am so sorreh! Lee nevah talked about yeh and-"

"He never talked about me because I was in a mental institution. The family doesn't talk about it. I have no place to go and my loving brother offered for me to live with him for a bit, if that's alright with you."

"Oh, uhm, yea, sure..." Sarah's eyes shifted uneasily between mine and Audrey's. I was speechless. "I work a lot so I'm not around much. I actually have to leave fo' work right now but uhm, yea. It was nice meeting you," she said awkwardly. "I'm sorreh again. I'll let yeh spend time wiff yeh brother."

"Thank you," Audrey smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Sarah walked over and kissed me on the lips quickly before saying goodbye and leaving. We both sat on the bed until we heard a car door slam and drive away. "I... I don't even know what to say," I whispered.

Audrey flopped down on the bed and closed her eyes. "I hate lying. I told you that. That was one of the first things I told you."

"I know, and I am propa sorreh I nevah told yeh about Sarah, but I don't like her anymore. I nevah did love her and-"

"Shush. You never lied. You just never spoke the entire truth to me. I'm mad at myself."

"Why?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

"'Cause I just lied, and for a guy I just met a week ago. How pathetic."

"Yeh not pathetic, love."

She smiled, opening her eyes. "Can I at least get a kiss on the cheek for all that hardcore lying?"

I chuckled and leaned down. "Anyfing fo' yeh," I whispered before leaning in to kiss her cheek.

She turned her head and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "Tricked you" she whispered.

My cheeks flushed and a stupid smile grew on my face.

"I lied for you, but now you are cheating on your girlfriend. I think that makes us even."

I rubbed my nose against hers, grinning like a mad man. "Want to get even some more?"

Audrey giggled, wrapping her arms around my neck. She brought my face back to hers leaving soft kisses on my lips.