Why I'm Home

Pounding. Pounding was all that Jason heard all around him. From the pounding rain, from the pounding in his head, from the bed against the wall as he walked in and saw the love of his life cheating on him with someone he did not recognize.

A simple surprise visit home had gone completely awry. A surprise visit home to the girl that he loved with his entire body and soul, who was now currently being and adulterer right in front of Jason’s unprepared eyes.

However, the two were much too absorbed into their actions, and didn’t even notice Jason, as he stood in the doorway, tears gathering in his eyes, and pain overtaking his heart.

Unable to watch even one more second, he faltered back a step, the movement jolting him back to reality as he quickly walked away from the scene of the crime and down the hallway, out the door, and into the rain, falling to his knees in the driveway from pain.

The rain cleared his mind, slightly. He tried to make sense of what he just saw, but his brain could only form simple thoughts.

My name is Jason Lancaster. I sing in the band Go Radio. I came home from tour to see Melanie, to find her fucking some other guy.

After he was out of shock, and he was able to process everything, the shock and heartbreak left, and rage filled him. The large, heavy, drops of rain that were pouring down on him couldn’t put out the fire that was raging inside of his heart.

He slowly lifted himself up, standing. He walked over to his car, got in it, and once again tried to clear his head, knowing that it was far too dangerous to drive in rain this heavy, when his mind was still in the bedroom seeing his cheating love.

My name is Jason Lancaster. My girlfriend Melanie cheated on me, who knows how many times. And I still fucking love her.

________________________________________________________________________

Four months. That’s the amount of time that had passed since that fateful day when Jason walked in on Melanie cheating.

Four months of Jason on tour. Four months of Melanie calling Jason, telling her she loved him, how much she missed him, asking him to come home, if not only for a day.

But Jason had already come home, and look where that had gotten him.

Four months of the scene replaying over and over again in Jason’s mind, day and night.

One month, that was how long it took Jason to stop being so angry about it. The last three months were spent in depression and heartache, as each night the scene replayed for his eyes. Three months that were spent in pain realizing how much of a liar Melanie was, and how much he still loved her despite all that.

How much loved he harbored for the girl was astounding, and that pained him even worse than the love affair.

Four months later, and Jason was back at the doorstep of the home that Melanie and he shared together, where she had cheated on him on the bed where they had made love so many times, so many nights ago.

Jason gripped his suitcase harder as that thought flashed in his mind.

The large smile that took over Melanie’s face and the twinkle of happiness in her eyes when she saw Jason proved that she didn’t know that he knew. The way she leaped into his arms just proved it further.

Jason just smiled, wrapping his arms around the girl that he loved so much, and nuzzling his face into her neck, picking her up and carrying her into the house and standing her on her feet in the middle of the living room, leaving his suitcases on the porch.

Jason grabbed her face gently in his hands, and brought it up to his, and kissing her as if nothing had ever happened at all.

Something was missing from the kiss, just as he had thought it would. He couldn’t place what was different, but something was. It didn’t seem real, it seemed fake.

Jason pulled back, and stepped slightly away from her, taking her hands in his, and looking her in the eyes.

“I could paint you pictures all night long, and tell you tales how every song is to let you know that you’re the reason why I’m home.” Jason shrugged, “Or I could quote a page of poetry, to show you what you mean to me, and we’d go falling somewhere faster knowing we don’t ever fall at all.”

Melanie looked at him confused, smiling and saying, “Jason, what are you talking about?”

“Just don’t think that this will be easy saying that you love me.”

“But Jason, I do lov—” Melanie began, but Jason cut her off.

“Don’t speak, when one more word would kill me, saying that you love me, when lying tongues are clumsy.

“Jason! What are you saying?!” Melanie asked, her grip on his hands becoming tighter.

“But who am I to say that every breath we take, won’t be just another kiss you gave away.”

Melanie stood ramrod straight, eyes wide in shock.

“So don’t speak, when one more word would kill me, saying that you love me, when lying tongues are clumsy.” He repeated.

Melanie’s breath caught in her throat, he knew. She didn’t know how, but he did.

“Jason, I’m so sorry.” Melanie said, tears freely flowing down her face. “But can’t we do something? When what we love we burn, it’s from the ashes that we yearn to be the phoenix that rises up from the flames.”

Jason just shook his head, throwing her idea of saving their relationship away.

“Don’t think that this will be easy, saying that you love me, when lying tongues are clumsy.” Jason said as he shook his head, let go of Melanie’s hands, and walked to the door, only turning around to say, “I could paint you pictures all night long, and tell you tales how every song, is to let you know that you’re the reason why I’m home.”

Then he walked out the door, leaving a stunned, heartbroken, and sobbing Melanie alone, as she fell to the floor in heartbreak.

Jason grabbed his bags from the porch and took them to his car, loading them back up, getting in his car, and leaving everything he loved behind him.

Of course Jason still loved her, but he couldn’t be with her. But he had to come to their house, to see her, to make her realize that he knew, and that he could never be with her again after that. That’s the reason why he’s home.