Status: This will be an ongoing event of cluster***, rest assured.
Saleigh and Shannon; The Terrible Two
-Shannon.
I’m not going to string this out longer than it needs to be, but yesterday, Saleigh killed a bird with her phone. Please, take that into its most literal form. I don’t know how she was able to do it, or how it’s even possible, but she killed a bird with her phone. Saleigh Elizabeth Roshana Vaughn; Bird Murderer. Weapon of choice, iPhone 4.
It happened near noon of yesterday, when Mary told her that she needed to go outside and get some sun. Take into account that Mary is her mother, and Sheldon is her father. She calls them by their names since she’s still in denial that they are her real parents. Denial that has been going on for 13 continuous years. Anyways, she was forced to go outside, and texted me telling me about the many birds that she had pissed off and were attacking her. I replied a simple ‘nice one’ since I was doing something – I don’t fucking know what it was, I just know it wasn’t writing because I’m not motivated to do anything but look at pictures on Damnlol.com all day – and she replied to me after that with a ‘I just killed a bird…with my phone,” I don’t understand at first because….it’s a phone…not a weapon.
But no, she actually took the life of a living, and breathing bird, with her phone. Nice one, Say, btw. Once this is registered into my brain, I’m on the ground laughing, nearly peeing my pants, not wasting any time at all sharing it with all of facebook, though we only have three mutual friends – my boyfriend and a mutual friend who’s ALMOST as mentally unstable as us – but there’s the art of tagging people!! (:<
It doesn’t take long until she’s not really freaking out about it anymore, pulling a prank on Sheldon, and getting right back on track. Of course I’ve been making fun of her about it since, but she hasn’t been freaking out about it…until Sheldon decides it’s time to mow the lawn. I’m reading a story a friend wrote at the time that I get a message saying that he…he ran over the bird with the lawn mower. So Saleigh is in a state of being retarded, as usual. It’s not long until Sheldon then runs into the porch, proving himself unable of operating anything ever (he doesn’t understand how to use the ‘@’ sign), he then runs into the satellite dish.
So as I write this, Saleigh is frantic, dying inside about not having television, asking me what possibly could go wrong next, then her scanner stops working. At this point, she’s wondering what could go wrong next. I waste NO time in making a list of things. Internet can go out. Waking up with blond hair, or with slenderman next to her. Her mibba account will disappear, or her hard drive will burn out, taking it’s stored stories with it. Somebody will set her art folder on fire. She could kill another bird with another one of her many electronics. Her family from Texas could move in with her. Lexi could show up at her door with the golf cart.
I get the reply of “…I’ve never been this terrified in my life.”
You kill animals with your electronics, I think they’re the ones who should be terrified. Just hope that you don’t have to be hugged by Sheldon or Mary any time soon. I know it was her turn to write, but I had to share this with you since she’s in a state of pure shock at the moment. I’m now going to go look into a few mental institutions to check Saleigh and I into.
It happened near noon of yesterday, when Mary told her that she needed to go outside and get some sun. Take into account that Mary is her mother, and Sheldon is her father. She calls them by their names since she’s still in denial that they are her real parents. Denial that has been going on for 13 continuous years. Anyways, she was forced to go outside, and texted me telling me about the many birds that she had pissed off and were attacking her. I replied a simple ‘nice one’ since I was doing something – I don’t fucking know what it was, I just know it wasn’t writing because I’m not motivated to do anything but look at pictures on Damnlol.com all day – and she replied to me after that with a ‘I just killed a bird…with my phone,” I don’t understand at first because….it’s a phone…not a weapon.
But no, she actually took the life of a living, and breathing bird, with her phone. Nice one, Say, btw. Once this is registered into my brain, I’m on the ground laughing, nearly peeing my pants, not wasting any time at all sharing it with all of facebook, though we only have three mutual friends – my boyfriend and a mutual friend who’s ALMOST as mentally unstable as us – but there’s the art of tagging people!! (:<
It doesn’t take long until she’s not really freaking out about it anymore, pulling a prank on Sheldon, and getting right back on track. Of course I’ve been making fun of her about it since, but she hasn’t been freaking out about it…until Sheldon decides it’s time to mow the lawn. I’m reading a story a friend wrote at the time that I get a message saying that he…he ran over the bird with the lawn mower. So Saleigh is in a state of being retarded, as usual. It’s not long until Sheldon then runs into the porch, proving himself unable of operating anything ever (he doesn’t understand how to use the ‘@’ sign), he then runs into the satellite dish.
So as I write this, Saleigh is frantic, dying inside about not having television, asking me what possibly could go wrong next, then her scanner stops working. At this point, she’s wondering what could go wrong next. I waste NO time in making a list of things. Internet can go out. Waking up with blond hair, or with slenderman next to her. Her mibba account will disappear, or her hard drive will burn out, taking it’s stored stories with it. Somebody will set her art folder on fire. She could kill another bird with another one of her many electronics. Her family from Texas could move in with her. Lexi could show up at her door with the golf cart.
I get the reply of “…I’ve never been this terrified in my life.”
You kill animals with your electronics, I think they’re the ones who should be terrified. Just hope that you don’t have to be hugged by Sheldon or Mary any time soon. I know it was her turn to write, but I had to share this with you since she’s in a state of pure shock at the moment. I’m now going to go look into a few mental institutions to check Saleigh and I into.
♠ ♠ ♠
true story.xoxo, Shannon.