Too Much of Anything

Jack had always been unsure of this bet to begin with, he only went along with it because he hated to lose as much as I did. I thought that it wasn't only me who had gotten in too deep, I assumed that Jack was the same as me. I smirked at him and all he did was push me off of him, a contorted look across his face.

"I don't know what you are getting at, Alex." He stood away from me, the distance made a barrier between the two of us. "Are you only doing this because of the bet?"

I probably looked like a retarded gaping fish because I knew my mouth was wide open. Why did he think this was still because of that? Frankly, I didn't care about the bet anymore. Well, maybe I did just a little, especially with how I know that I've lost.

On the other hand though, Jack doesn't seem to realize anything, he still thinks my actions are selfish and that I'm only doing this to prove the fact that I have the ability to take any heart that I wanted. Jack's included.

That wasn't the real reason, if I was honest with myself for once, I'd admit that things have changed for me. Jack has changed in my eyes. Unfortunately, it seemed that he didn't feel any different, especially from how he's always pushing me away.

I figured that if I kept on with this bet and didn't just make him like me but actually make him want me so much that he can't think of anyone else but me, Alex, then I was sure to get what I wanted.

This had gotten serious, so much in fact that I didn't care about how Jack would feel about this. I didn't even ask him that: how would you feel if you found out that I, Alex the casanova, have actually fallen in love with you? But love, was this it? I hadn't felt such a feeling before, lust yes but love? Hell no. Jack would probably laugh at me and he most likely wouldn't believe me.

I didn't know how to answer his question and he was expecting me to give him a concrete answer. Telling him the truth is completely out of the question given the circumstances that I am in. But I at least need to find out how strong this is first. Maybe it is just lust, maybe I only want to fuck Jack and that's it.

My mind immediately drifted off because of that thought, I tried to shake it out of my head but to no avail. Yes, I wanted to fuck Jack. Yes, yes, yes.

But is that all?

Jack waved a hand in front of my face waking me up to reality. "Alex, answer me."

I bit my lip, the words I wanted to say forming into incoherent jumbles of gibberish. Jack raised an eyebrow at me and instead of thinking about my reaction and everything else thoroughly, he decided to jump to conclusions. "So this is about the bet isn't it? You're only doing it because of that."

I didn't answer him; I didn't even look him in the eye. He took my silence as an affirmative as he sighed and paced the room, seeming to be deep in thought.

"I can't do this anymore," he suddenly announced, moving his hands to rake through his hair, "I think if we carry on with this bet, it's only going to tear our friendship apart but it's not only affecting us it is affecting Rian and Zack too. I don't want that. It's stupid anyway; I think we should just forget we ever made that bet."

He looked so sure of himself like he actually thought this was best thing he could possibly do. I believed it wasn't, what was I going to do if the bet was over? This was a way of getting closer to Jack and if we ended this I'd be back to square one as his best friend. I couldn't afford that, for some reason the thought of it stirred up a desperate feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"No," I disagreed, "It's not over yet, besides no one has won yet."

I was wrong about that, Jack had won already he just hadn't realized it.

He scoffed. "Oh get off your high horse Alex. I'll never like you like that, so there's no point continuing this. Besides all you want is the satisfaction to know that another mindless fool can be added to your broken hearts list. Well, I am not one of them."

He didn't understand, he didn't get it at all. Did I have to spell it out for him? I couldn't, I was too much of a fucking coward to say it. He angered me though; he made me feel worthless, like the dirt on his shoe. But that's how I've always felt, I know full well what I do to others, I'm not that ignorant.

"You know what, get out!" I shouted at him, my voice resonating around the room.

"This is my house," he reminded me.

I stuttered, gaining my composure as I stomped right past him and looked back, a hurt look in my eyes.

"I thought you understood me the most, how stupid I was to think that." My hand reached his door and this time, I didn't look back.

Jack was a fucking idiot but I couldn't be angry at him for so long. Besides, it's my fault anyway, it's because of my past, and the way I usually act that has made him be this way. I didn't know what to do now but I had to talk to someone about this. I felt like if I kept it inside of me for too long, I wouldn't be be able to stop myself from doing something I would regret.



"So, do tell me why you're standing there all drenched?" Rian asked me, holding his front door askew.

I glared at him, wanting him to stop mucking around and just let me inside. The weather decided to be a bitch and rain on me, so now I was cold, wet, and irritated with myself. Today's going perfect right? Note the fucking sarcasm.

"Just let me in, Rian," I demanded as he rolled his eyes and opened his door slightly so I could come inside.

It seemed like his parents were home, I could hear him them from somewhere inside the house. Rian looked at me quizzically, he was wondering why I was even here in the first place at this time in the morning.

"Hey, what's up?" he inquired, noticing the forlorn look in my eyes.

"I have a headache, Jack's being a total prick, and he called the bet off," I listed.

Rian raised his eyebrows at this information. "Isn't that good that he called off the bet, you can stop all of this now."

Why did everyone act like this? Was the bet this bad of an idea? I didn't think it was at all, without it I wouldn't have realized a lot of things.

"No, it's not good and don't jump to conclusions when I say this but I didn't want him to call it off," I paused, nervousness building up inside of me, "Rian, I need to tell you something. It's really important but under no circumstances tell Jack, alright?"

Rian nodded suddenly becoming interested. I took a deep breath, thinking this through. I wasn't even sure if this was a good idea. I hadn't even considered if this was what I thought it was. Even so, I felt something for Jack; I just wasn't sure what it was.

Fuck it, I was going to tell him anyway and I couldn't just back out now.

"I..." I looked at him straight in the eye, "I think I'm falling for Jack."