Too Much of Anything

I couldn't quite understand what was happening here, in fact, for a second I thought that this must have been a dream. I know I've had some strange dreams before, but this really tops them all. However, this does feel kind of a bit too real for it just to be a dream. I looked back at Jack across the space of the room, my whole body ached a little, and my guess to why I was here came to one thing: I was in some sort of accident.

I didn't ask straight away what happened, because I was more occupied by the fact that Jack - my best friend who I've known for what felt like forever - wouldn't even look me in the eye. The tension in the air was so thick, I could almost feel it. Something wasn't quite right, but of course, that was obvious. None of this seemed right at all.

The last thing I remembered was being 18, being a teenager at school with no cares in the world. But that's not how the world seems to be like right now. Jack's not eighteen anymore. Fuck no, he's grown up to become something that I never imagined, and for god sake he seems like he's grown even taller than before.

But then even though inside of my head I still feel young, my reflection says a whole different story. Twenty three. How many years is that? Oh yes, five. Five whole years and I can't even remember a single moment of it. I've heard of these sort of things happening before, amnesia, is it?

Jack's been silent for a painfully long time, he seems to be stuck inside of his own head, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The first thing I noticed was how upset he looked, and the only reason I could think as to why - well, it was me.

All of this felt so different and foreign, I didn't recognize Jack at all, not because of the way he looked and the way he talked but his whole attitude had changed completely. In fact, it was scaring me. This guy in front of me seemed like a total stranger.

I had to break the ice, I had to do something. I was beginning to fidget around on the hospital bed, my back aching slightly from sitting in the same position for too long. I looked at the door, wondering where Zack and Rian were, and if they were going to come and see me at all.

I opened my mouth a fraction, wanting to take away this cloud of doubt which had fallen over me. "So," I started unsurely, "What's life like now for me?"

It's not like I wasn't curious, heck, of course I was. I'd always wondered where I'd be in the future, what I'd be doing. Jack, being my best friend, must know.

His expression, however, was not what I expected. He looked like from this one question I had stabbed him in the heart. He bit his lip, turning his head towards me but again, he avoided eye contact.

"I seriously don't know, Alex."

This confused me to no end. Why wouldn't he know? I always thought that we'd still be together somehow - all four of us, Jack, Zack, Rian and me - but for some reason, Jack didn't even know what my life was like now. And that really scared me.

"What? But you must know, I mean, we're still friends, right?" I asked, leaning forward expectantly for his reply.

The only response I received from him was silence.

So what, we weren't friends? That confirms it then, this must have been a dream, no wait, it was a nightmare. A reality in which Jack and I aren't friends is a cruel nightmare. So it can't be real at all.

There was one thing that was constantly bugging me though, and it only made everything worse. For some reason, I felt extremely angry.

At first, I thought it was mostly targeted at Jack (because come on, this was ridiculous, he was either kidding with me for a stupid reason or being an absolute tosser. Either way, I fucking hated him for even implying that we couldn't possibly be friends anymore) but something else took over me, a slight feeling of dread and disappointment, and even a tinge of recognition, which didn't make much sense at all.

Even though I was in these silly hospital clothes, I jumped out of the bed as fast as I could. I found myself stumbling slightly from the pain, and from this I could see a huge bruise travelling down my leg, having turned a nasty color of purple. Jack stood up immediately in shock as I fell quite clumsily to the ground. He managed to catch me, worry written all over his face.

"Are you alright?" he questioned, and I felt like giving him a sarcastic comment back but I was stopped immediately.

He's doing it again. Why does he keep on doing that?

"Why won't you look me in the eye?" I demanded, grabbing onto his arm to stop him from turning away from me. Finally, he was staring straight at me. "It's like the sight of me disgusts you, or something."

I had a really awful feeling consuming me from the inside out. I had no idea what had happened for Jack and I to no longer be friends, but it was more than that. From how he was reacting, it was almost like he hated me.

He shook his head vigorously, "No! That's not it at all. I just...I can't talk to you like this."

I needed answers desperately, not half arsed ones that were so vague they weren't really answering anything. I needed him to be honest with me, I could take whatever he said to me.

"I just wish you hadn't gone and forgotten everything. I was ready to let you back in, to forgive you, and then you go and do this," Jack's words were almost inaudible, he had stood to his feet now and was backing away from me.

All I could do was blink at him repeatedly, looking like an absolute idiot. "I don't understand a word you are saying."

He snorted at me, "Of course you don't."

And at that moment in time, where in I felt disconnected from everything around me (most importantly Jack), the door to the room opened a tad to reveal Zachary Merrick behind it. A small smile embraced the corners of my lips and I thought about getting up to greet him but the look he gave me told me otherwise.

He was glaring at me, full out glaring as if I was gum at the bottom of his shoe. What the heck was with that? Why did everyone seem to hate my guts? He made his way over to Jack without even a brief: 'Hey, Alex. How are you? I'm glad you didn't die in that accident.' You see, I could really feel the hostility coming from Zack and I felt utterly hopeless.

"You shouldn't have come here, Jack. This isn't going to help you at all to get over him," he urged him to leave the room, pulling slightly on his jacket's sleeve.

Sorry, get over who now?

"He doesn't remember anything though, it's like he erased everything that happened," Jack whispered back and from saying this, Zack's eyes were finally on me.

"Well, that's convenient," he snorted and now he was stepping towards me, a patient who was still unable to move and stuck like glue to the ground. No one seemed to care about the fact that I was hurting badly, it saddened me to think that this was what my future turned into. Zack lowered down to my level, and suddenly I felt extremely small in his presence.

"You better not be doing this on purpose to lure Jack back in, because I won't let that happen. You had your chance, Alex. You ruined everything years back. It would be best if you just left him alone," he was threatening me now, his eyes turning cold and dark and unfathomable.

He got back up to his feet, turning back towards Jack as they began to walk out of the room. I felt like if I didn't do something, I would never see Jack again. I didn't understand what was going on, and I don't think I wanted to know either. But I couldn't just let him leave like this. I wanted to fix things between Jack and Zack and me, even though I had no idea what needed fixing.

Again, I tried to stand to my feet, and this time was more successful than the last. I lurched forward, tackling Jack and pulling him backwards.

"I don't know what I've done, honestly! But I seriously can't remember anything, and you are the only one that will help me remember," I don't know what I was asking of him, but the words were flowing uncontrollably, and I wasn't thinking of what I was saying.

Jack seemed to be thinking hard about this. "But what if it's best for you to stay like this. It will only make things worse if you did remember."

"Then so be it. I'll leave and I won't come back. But for now, I need your help."

Ignoring Zack's protest, Jack nodded, agreeing to my terms. "Okay."