Too Much of Anything

It was only two days later when I realized that Zack wasn't joking whatsoever about the fact that he wanted to leave. He had finished packing, his room which had been covered with posters and clothes spewed across the floor was now strangely clean. Zack had a few boxes darted around here and there: one for clothes, one for books, one for memories that were taped up to the brim with what looked like thick masking tape.

I wondered whether in there were pictures of us, the four of us as teenagers, smiling up at the camera with no clue as to what would happen in the next few years. The thought of that made me feel even more upset than I was prior to this situation, and it was true that I had tried my very best to stop that Zack from leaving, but every attempt I made was futile. He had made up his mind, and I should respect that.

The days swam by me without being able to catch them in my grasp, to slow them down just a little so he wouldn't have to leave and things could stay as they are, as they should be. But the nights crept on faster, and it came to the day which Zack's train ticket had written on it, and I knew there was nothing else I could do to stop them.

In some ways, you could say I was thankful to him. It wasn't that everything had returned to the way it was, that could never happen again. But I was with Alex now, my Alex, and there were no problems standing in our way to bring the two of us apart again. I felt now that nothing could stop us, that this would be it. I could imagine a forever with Alex, I really could.

I was watching a movie with Alex when the time came, although, thinking about it now I couldn't quite remember what it was about. Our legs were tangled together, Alex's head resting on mine and for the duration of that film I couldn't help but look at Alex. The way his eyes focused on the screen, his brow furrowing and his reactions to every little thing that happened.

He was a masterpiece to watch, and as we were nearing the end, Alex looked up towards me, eyelashes blinking, long and beautiful as a smile spread across his face, the smile that I had loved and missed for so long. In that moment, all I wanted to do was kiss him, and I would have too, my body was already leaning towards him.

But I was stopped when a set of keys was thrown into Alex's face and he leaned away from me, glancing up at Zack with his bags around his feet and for once in what seemed like ages, he didn't look like that burnt-out kid locking himself in his room, away from everyone else.

The key's fell into Alex's hands, his facial expression changing from content to astonishment. I saw something flash in his eyes that told me he felt the same about Zack as I did, he didn't want him to leave either, despite what had happened.

"It's yours now," Zack said, but that was a clear translation to something else: he's yours now.

Alex looked like he didn't know quite what to do, but within a few seconds of staring at the keys now in his hands and back up at Zack, he jumped to his feet, enclosing the keys in his hands as he grabbed Zack into a hug. Zack's reaction was to be expected, his body tensed at first before he relaxed again, his arms slowly wrapping around Alex's torso too.

"You have to keep in touch with us all, you understand that?" Alex let go of him, taking a step back as Zack nodded in response.

The tension and the hatred that had been directed to Alex by Zack from before seemed to have disappeared, but I could tell he was still cautious around him. He looked over to me, he was smiling at me, yet those eyes of his were the saddest I've ever seen them.

"Can you help me take my stuff to the taxi, please Jack?" he asked of me, and it was something I just couldn't say no to.

I took two boxes, one on top of the other as we made our way out of my apartment door, taking cautious footsteps down the stairs as we went.

"Did you say goodbye to Rian?" I asked him, not knowing what to say to him at this point of time. What I wanted the most was to bring him back, tell him that he didn't need to go. But that would have been unkind of him, I couldn't give him what he wanted, and we both knew that.

"Yeah," he answered, "I saw him last night."

And the conversation seemed to come to an end there, as both of us seemed to be too trapped in our own minds to carry on with any other kind of conversation that we may have wanted to talk about.

We were now outside of the apartment complex and I could see Zack's black taxi outside, the driver waving at him to hurry up.

"You sure you don't want me to come to the station with you?" I offered.

Zack shook his head. "No, it's fine like this. Thank you for everything Jack."

I wanted to hug him like Alex had, but I couldn't seem to move a muscle. I stayed by the door of the complex, my hand moving slowly for him to shake it, because I felt like he didn't need anything else.

A chuckle resonated from his lips as he grabbed my hand in a hearty shake before pulling me towards him, a shy pat on the back and those warm words that I will never forget. "I believe you and Alex were always destined for one another, I should have realized that before."

And with that, he pulled away, taking small steps downwards as he approached the taxi and opened the door. He looked up at me, a wide smile spread across his lips, genuine as can be. His arm moved in the air into a small wave as I moved my hand and waved back.

The next second, he was gone, the black cab disappearing into the distance.

-

As I trudged back up the stairs, the feeling of loss spreading over me, I began to think of how this could have been done differently. But maybe this was how it was supposed to be. It wasn't like Zack was gone for good now, he'd be back here at some point in time, happier and maybe he'd be in love with someone who could love him back.

I shook the thoughts from my head, not wanting to think anything negative anymore. I'd decided there was no room for such behavior, I had Alex now, I had him how I had wanted him for years and I was going to move on and not ruin things. I opened the door, shutting the door behind me as I looked ahead, seeing Alex watching me from the couch in the living room. His eyes were on me, but his face seemed to be blotched with dabs of red.

"I thought that maybe you would have left me, it's a stupid thought but I couldn't help myself thinking of it and I -" I made my way over to him, shutting him up as I kissed his lips tenderly, my hand grazing his wet cheek. I pulled away, a brief smile on my lips as I whispered to him the promise that I would never break. "I would never leave you, Alex Gaskarth."

He looked up at me like he couldn't quite believe it, but that look vanished in a second and was replaced with a cheeky grin. "Good," he smirked at me, "Because I would never let you leave me again." He pulled me into him, and for the second time in the last few seconds we were kissing again.

My mind managed to wash away the thoughts that had plagued me for so long and I could see in my mind a future just like this. A future in which nothing could hurt us, a future in which Alex and I would always to be together, and we'd always be happy. The thought of it sent a feeling of joy bursting through my veins, and I kissed him more passionately, hands tangling in his hair as I felt him smile again, innocent and stunning.

I knew we both had the same thought recurring in our heads, and I didn't need to be a mind reader to know he felt the same as me. This is perfect, this will always be perfect.