I Won't Be There
Letter.
If you are reading this… then it’s already too late. I’ve gone. There are so many things I want to say but none of you would listen to me, so I’ve taken matters into my own hands. It’s not like you won’t miss me. Seb can do my parts. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time but I’ve been pushing it to the back of my mind. Thinking that one day, you’d accept me for who I really am. All the flirting that we do onstage and it was just for the fans. The day you told me you didn’t actually have feelings for me broke my heart. Of course you didn’t know… None of you knew.
I know what you’ll be thinking now. You’ll be thinking that I’ve taken this too far. All this happened two years ago, why are you reacting to it now? Well, the person you have seen for the past two years has all been an act. Of course it’s easy for me to pretend I’m happy. You all thought I was that strange ADD kid when we first started the band. The fact that over the years I’ve learned to control my ADD and again, none of you knew. I thought about telling you all in person that I had feelings for the same sex but I was always scared that you’d react the way you’d react in my dreams. That you would force me out of the band because you couldn’t bear sharing the stage or even a tour bus with someone that was gay. So, I kept that to myself.
Seb, you are like my little brother. I loved the fact that no matter what mood I was in, you were always there to cheer me up, or attempt to cheer me up. I loved how passionate you were about this band that every time we did a video, or recorded a new song, you’d always be there making fun. No matter what happens, I can see a promising future for you. I know we have released four albums together and you have released 2 EP’s, have a radio show with Pat and have started another side project. I am proud to have called you my friend and brother.
Jeff, my bald headed man. Here’s a tip, there are only so many times that you can make a hair joke without it getting bored. I’d miss your guitar playing and the fact that I used to phone at 3AM just to tell you a joke that had popped into my head. One thing. You know when we were in the airport that time and you were asleep? And you were woken up by some idiot pouring water on your bald, shiny head? That idiot was me. IT’S CALLED PAYBACK BITCH!
Chuck. This band wouldn’t be a band if you weren’t here. You are the most passionate person I have ever met. I love how everything we do as a band, you always make us stop for a moment and reflect on how big this is for us. My favourite moment with you is when we did the SP Foundation concert with the Montreal OSM. That was the best night of my life. The way that the orchestra sounded with our band… it was unbelievable. That was the first time that I felt normal. I knew that I could trust you Chuck so don’t go thinking that I couldn’t. I was scared if anyone had overheard and I know the bus isn’t safe when Pat is around. He picks everything up on his camera it’s like he stalks us.
Pierre. Don’t expect me to put anything nice about you here. You’re the one that has made my life a living hell. If you hadn’t played me like a fool then maybe I’d still be here! Maybe if I hadn’t have told you my feelings then maybe we’d still be friends. It broke my heart that you’d flirt with me on stage and then when I finally had the balls to admit to you that I liked you more than a friend, what did you do?! You rejected me. I didn’t care that it was just for the fans. I actually felt something Pierre and you smashed my heart. I loved you for who you were Pierre. But now I see whenever I look at you is a frightened little boy who is scared to admit his feelings.
Okay I kinda lied about putting nice things about you but whatever it’s my letter. Everyone is going to hate you know because I’ve made you out to be the bad guy but you’re not. Pierre, you welcomed me into this band. If it wasn’t for you then maybe I would have gone a long time ago. I want to thank you for the time we had as friends. I want to thank you for the best times of my life when we performed on stage. Pierre, you are one of the best singers I have ever known and it’s unbelievable that so many people can relate to every word you write and sing. You are my best friend and my lover at the same time.
I will leave you all with one thing… just one little thing. I can’t stay. Tomorrow I’ll be on my way. So don’t expect to find me sleeping in my bed. Cause when you wake up, I won’t be there
Don’t forget me. Please.
David Philippe Desrosiers.
I know what you’ll be thinking now. You’ll be thinking that I’ve taken this too far. All this happened two years ago, why are you reacting to it now? Well, the person you have seen for the past two years has all been an act. Of course it’s easy for me to pretend I’m happy. You all thought I was that strange ADD kid when we first started the band. The fact that over the years I’ve learned to control my ADD and again, none of you knew. I thought about telling you all in person that I had feelings for the same sex but I was always scared that you’d react the way you’d react in my dreams. That you would force me out of the band because you couldn’t bear sharing the stage or even a tour bus with someone that was gay. So, I kept that to myself.
Seb, you are like my little brother. I loved the fact that no matter what mood I was in, you were always there to cheer me up, or attempt to cheer me up. I loved how passionate you were about this band that every time we did a video, or recorded a new song, you’d always be there making fun. No matter what happens, I can see a promising future for you. I know we have released four albums together and you have released 2 EP’s, have a radio show with Pat and have started another side project. I am proud to have called you my friend and brother.
Jeff, my bald headed man. Here’s a tip, there are only so many times that you can make a hair joke without it getting bored. I’d miss your guitar playing and the fact that I used to phone at 3AM just to tell you a joke that had popped into my head. One thing. You know when we were in the airport that time and you were asleep? And you were woken up by some idiot pouring water on your bald, shiny head? That idiot was me. IT’S CALLED PAYBACK BITCH!
Chuck. This band wouldn’t be a band if you weren’t here. You are the most passionate person I have ever met. I love how everything we do as a band, you always make us stop for a moment and reflect on how big this is for us. My favourite moment with you is when we did the SP Foundation concert with the Montreal OSM. That was the best night of my life. The way that the orchestra sounded with our band… it was unbelievable. That was the first time that I felt normal. I knew that I could trust you Chuck so don’t go thinking that I couldn’t. I was scared if anyone had overheard and I know the bus isn’t safe when Pat is around. He picks everything up on his camera it’s like he stalks us.
Pierre. Don’t expect me to put anything nice about you here. You’re the one that has made my life a living hell. If you hadn’t played me like a fool then maybe I’d still be here! Maybe if I hadn’t have told you my feelings then maybe we’d still be friends. It broke my heart that you’d flirt with me on stage and then when I finally had the balls to admit to you that I liked you more than a friend, what did you do?! You rejected me. I didn’t care that it was just for the fans. I actually felt something Pierre and you smashed my heart. I loved you for who you were Pierre. But now I see whenever I look at you is a frightened little boy who is scared to admit his feelings.
Okay I kinda lied about putting nice things about you but whatever it’s my letter. Everyone is going to hate you know because I’ve made you out to be the bad guy but you’re not. Pierre, you welcomed me into this band. If it wasn’t for you then maybe I would have gone a long time ago. I want to thank you for the time we had as friends. I want to thank you for the best times of my life when we performed on stage. Pierre, you are one of the best singers I have ever known and it’s unbelievable that so many people can relate to every word you write and sing. You are my best friend and my lover at the same time.
I will leave you all with one thing… just one little thing. I can’t stay. Tomorrow I’ll be on my way. So don’t expect to find me sleeping in my bed. Cause when you wake up, I won’t be there
Don’t forget me. Please.
David Philippe Desrosiers.