Lets Go Back To The Room Where It All Began
Sit Tight
"Alicia, its too early for this!" I groaned to myself and walked to my closet and thought of the day's results on my slowing crushing down soul.
I pulled out a pair of orange skinny jeans, an A Clockwork Orange shirt, my grey sweater, and random pieces of jewlery ya'know, rings and 3 necklaces. A usual to my crazy, yet casual style.
"YOU UP?!" my sister yelled back up the stairs not even bothering to at least see if me and give me a 'Goodmorning, dear' but i didn't mind as much.
I was ready in about 20 minutes because there was no shower this morning. I hopped onto my computer and checked Twitter. I smiled at the amount of followers. 555 exactly.
I went on a random rant about nothing and got 5 retweets automatically but my phone also buzzed me a message. It was from Lisa.
Lisa: Is that post on Twitter about me?! D:
Me: of course not!
Lisa: oh..good. & Alex is following you.
"Alex?!" I said to myself
Me: Alex? Oh. Is it dat booooy!
Lisa: hehehe...yessss... :)
I smiled to my phone and slipped it into my back pocket.
"DR. MARTENS, I'M READY TO WEARRR YOOOOU!" i yelled rummaging through my closet. "There" i giggled out as I slipped them on. Floral Doc Martens.
I stood up, said a farewell to my blink-182, My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, P!ATD, & Green Day posters. I closed my door and ran down the stairs.
Robin, my sister, was fixing toast. "Hungry?" She glanced over her shoulder at me.
"Not really" i said sitting down.
Living with her was easy. She owns this large, spotless summer home in Flordia which I'm not going to and this was the last day of school for the rest of my life.
"Isn't prom tonight & graduation tomorrow?" She smiled while setting a plate of 2 pieces of toast with light butter smeared lightly on the top. I ate it anyways.
"yeah." I said as I nibbled on the toast and sipped the Mountain Dew.
"You have a horrible diet!" She moaned out at me. I stood up, leaving the plate with only 1 1/2 pieces left and the can nearly full of the sugary, delicious liquid.
I grabbed my bag and slammed the door on my way out. I pulled out my phone to see it was only 5:45. I don't have to be at school for another hour. I left to the park.
I sat on the swing until i felt my body lunge foward as my bag hooked to the chain and leaving my face slightly damaged by the mulch in the playground.
"LOOK AT HER FACE!" the boys laughed. I sat up, nearly in tears. "AWE. GO CRY TO YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND." They kicked my stomache. Leaving me breatheless as the taunted me more.
"YO. LEAVE HER ALONE" an unfimiliar voice echoed into my ears.
"Make us!" I didn't dare look up to see who stood up for me. All i did see was the boys falling to the ground. One with a bloody nose even. The guy pulled me up and helped brush me off.
"You okay?" He looked worried. His face was sure familiar and to think about so did the boy in Lisa's text.
"Yeah. I get that alot. No big deal" i let one tear fall as I looked down.
"No, it is a big deal. Anyway, i'm zack." His smile conqured the gloomy moment. I just smiled back.
"Alicia" I smiled and stuck my shakey hand out that he took and shook hands with me.
"are you going to school?" I nodded. "COOL! so are me and my friends. Come on" he pulled me out of the park and to these group of boys and Lisa.
"Zack, what did you drag in" one kid laughed.
"OH MY GOD. ALICIA!" Lisa pratically tackled me down.
I smiled to her as she stood up.
"She's been on the ground enough for one day" Zack said helping me up.
"what do you mean?" The gorgeous boy from the text, Alex, asked while wrapping an arm around Lisa's shoulders and arching his very large eyebrows.
I glanced up at Zack with my eyes screaming out 'DO NOT SAY ANYTHING please' i felt tears forming.
"Nothing, she fell when I saw her" he pulled off the lie. Except one guy looked curious for the real answer. He looked a lot like Alex. "Anyway" Zack said rubbing his face "This is Rian, Jack and Alex.
He pointed to each of the boys and I just smiled while staring at the ground as my dark brown hair covered my face.
"We should start going" Alex finally said while staring at me then kissing Lisa as if it was a cover up or reason to not look back at me.
Zack and Rian were deep in discussion and so was Alex and Lisa. I started walking then i felt a hand grab my hand.
"What actually happened?" I gulped at Jack's words.
"N-Nothing." I stuttered out.
"i won't tell anyone. I pinky promise" he held out his pinky towards me as he stopped us from walking. I interlocked our pinkies.
"Well" I took a deep breath "I guess that I'm bisexual and these kids pushed me off the swing at the park and started kicking me, telling me to go die and to go cry to my girlfriend then Zack saw them and they go 'Make us stop' so Zack like pushed them or something. I just, i don't know. I'm just scared."
"scared of what?" I felt his brown eyes locked on me. I looked up at him.
"scared of people. I guess. I don't know. Scared of being treated like I shouldn't be alive. Because maybe if i'm treated like it, maybe its true." I looked back down to the ground.
"I realize you are probably starting a crush on Alex but believe me when i saw that you are, so far, a beautiful person. If you weren't to be here, wouldn't you be dead already?"
"Lisa..." I said under my breath
"What?" He looked forward
"Lisa, I've attempted so many times. Like 5. Lisa saved me each and every time. It just, it makes me feel like Lisa should of just let me die already."
"If you were meant to be dead, Lisa wouldn't of saved you all those times." His words, his voice, his emotion in the saying echoed in my head.
"well, i still don't want to go to school"
"its the last day, though! Besides, you will be sticking with me. You are in like all of my classes but one. Which is P.E" my heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest.
"Thats where i get picked on the most"
"well, my class is a free period so I will go to the gym and just mess with writing and stuff and make sure you don't get picked on" he smiled to me. I felt my heart skip a beat. I smiled back.
We finally got to the school. I expected stares and glares but instead we got nothing.
The time passed quite quickly in homeroom, quicker than i imagined.. i walked towards the gym as i felt a pair of arms wrap around me. My neck was being tickled by a warm breath. Then my ears finally heard the "Hey you" smirk coming from Jack.
"Hi" i giggled out. He laughed at my response. I walked into the locker room as girls stripped down into only thongs and bras. I didn't find any of these girls attractive. Lisa on the other hand...no..no.. i can't seriously be thinking about LISA. I pushed that idea aside and got dressed in one of the stalls. My shorts sagged enought to cover most of my thighs but not too much. My light gray shirt made me look completely flat chested. I stared at my reflection, saying in my head 'wait ever happened to you'. I glanced down to the scars of past suicidal moments. Memories rushed back faster than i could push them back away.a
"COME ON LADIES" my P.E teacher screamed, making my memories stop.
I started walking out of the locker room and i could hear girls laugh.
"Alicia. Are you on your period?" One girl who wasn't techniqully my friend but was definitly there for me.
"Why?" My heart raced.
She cleared her throat. My eyes widened.
"MRS. MATHEWS, CAN WE GO TO THE NURSE. PLEASE" she got it right away and shot us a thumbs up as she took attendence.
"Cover me" i whispered back. Thats when Jack ran up beside me.
"Whats going on?" I took in a deep breath.
"nothing!" I choked out.
Me & Clarissa rushed into the nurse's office and left Jack outside.
The nurse handed me about 3 pads. One to wear and 2 for the day. I took Clarissa's jacket and wrapped it around my waist to cover myself.
I walked out and looked back to Clarissa. I felt my body hit the ground. I groaned and covered my face.
"Today is getting better and better." Jack helped me up and Alex glared at me. "Sorry" i said.
"Yeah." He went back to talking to Jack.
"come on" i grabbed Clarissa's wrist and rushed down the hallway, covering my face. We finally got back to the gym and Mrs. Mathews told us to get dressed and to just sit out.
I got dressed again but took my spare black skinny jeans out and checked if everything was okay. I would have to check most of the day.
Before i knew it, i was sitting alone and blaring Green Day into my head.
I felt a small tap on my leg and looked up to see Alex. I took one headphone out as he sat next to me.
"sorry for snapping at you" he stared away from me.
"Its okay. I get it a lot. I'm used to it" i smiled to him.
"you know, you're pretty happy for a person who gets picked on everyday by people" his hand met the back of his neck and he was now looking at me.
"i've been through a lot and i keep saying everyday, life gets better"
"have you ever been...suicidal" i realized he was getting at my arms.
"Yeah... It was worse when i was 13..." I didn't want to mention his glorious girlfriend but i had to. "Lisa saved me like 5 times" his jaw dropped.
"5 times?" I felt tears form in my eyes.
"Yeah"
"I-i'm sorry about..ever...EVER...being a jackass to you" he pulled me into a hug that was quite awkward.
"its fine"
I pulled out a pair of orange skinny jeans, an A Clockwork Orange shirt, my grey sweater, and random pieces of jewlery ya'know, rings and 3 necklaces. A usual to my crazy, yet casual style.
"YOU UP?!" my sister yelled back up the stairs not even bothering to at least see if me and give me a 'Goodmorning, dear' but i didn't mind as much.
I was ready in about 20 minutes because there was no shower this morning. I hopped onto my computer and checked Twitter. I smiled at the amount of followers. 555 exactly.
I went on a random rant about nothing and got 5 retweets automatically but my phone also buzzed me a message. It was from Lisa.
Lisa: Is that post on Twitter about me?! D:
Me: of course not!
Lisa: oh..good. & Alex is following you.
"Alex?!" I said to myself
Me: Alex? Oh. Is it dat booooy!
Lisa: hehehe...yessss... :)
I smiled to my phone and slipped it into my back pocket.
"DR. MARTENS, I'M READY TO WEARRR YOOOOU!" i yelled rummaging through my closet. "There" i giggled out as I slipped them on. Floral Doc Martens.
I stood up, said a farewell to my blink-182, My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, P!ATD, & Green Day posters. I closed my door and ran down the stairs.
Robin, my sister, was fixing toast. "Hungry?" She glanced over her shoulder at me.
"Not really" i said sitting down.
Living with her was easy. She owns this large, spotless summer home in Flordia which I'm not going to and this was the last day of school for the rest of my life.
"Isn't prom tonight & graduation tomorrow?" She smiled while setting a plate of 2 pieces of toast with light butter smeared lightly on the top. I ate it anyways.
"yeah." I said as I nibbled on the toast and sipped the Mountain Dew.
"You have a horrible diet!" She moaned out at me. I stood up, leaving the plate with only 1 1/2 pieces left and the can nearly full of the sugary, delicious liquid.
I grabbed my bag and slammed the door on my way out. I pulled out my phone to see it was only 5:45. I don't have to be at school for another hour. I left to the park.
I sat on the swing until i felt my body lunge foward as my bag hooked to the chain and leaving my face slightly damaged by the mulch in the playground.
"LOOK AT HER FACE!" the boys laughed. I sat up, nearly in tears. "AWE. GO CRY TO YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND." They kicked my stomache. Leaving me breatheless as the taunted me more.
"YO. LEAVE HER ALONE" an unfimiliar voice echoed into my ears.
"Make us!" I didn't dare look up to see who stood up for me. All i did see was the boys falling to the ground. One with a bloody nose even. The guy pulled me up and helped brush me off.
"You okay?" He looked worried. His face was sure familiar and to think about so did the boy in Lisa's text.
"Yeah. I get that alot. No big deal" i let one tear fall as I looked down.
"No, it is a big deal. Anyway, i'm zack." His smile conqured the gloomy moment. I just smiled back.
"Alicia" I smiled and stuck my shakey hand out that he took and shook hands with me.
"are you going to school?" I nodded. "COOL! so are me and my friends. Come on" he pulled me out of the park and to these group of boys and Lisa.
"Zack, what did you drag in" one kid laughed.
"OH MY GOD. ALICIA!" Lisa pratically tackled me down.
I smiled to her as she stood up.
"She's been on the ground enough for one day" Zack said helping me up.
"what do you mean?" The gorgeous boy from the text, Alex, asked while wrapping an arm around Lisa's shoulders and arching his very large eyebrows.
I glanced up at Zack with my eyes screaming out 'DO NOT SAY ANYTHING please' i felt tears forming.
"Nothing, she fell when I saw her" he pulled off the lie. Except one guy looked curious for the real answer. He looked a lot like Alex. "Anyway" Zack said rubbing his face "This is Rian, Jack and Alex.
He pointed to each of the boys and I just smiled while staring at the ground as my dark brown hair covered my face.
"We should start going" Alex finally said while staring at me then kissing Lisa as if it was a cover up or reason to not look back at me.
Zack and Rian were deep in discussion and so was Alex and Lisa. I started walking then i felt a hand grab my hand.
"What actually happened?" I gulped at Jack's words.
"N-Nothing." I stuttered out.
"i won't tell anyone. I pinky promise" he held out his pinky towards me as he stopped us from walking. I interlocked our pinkies.
"Well" I took a deep breath "I guess that I'm bisexual and these kids pushed me off the swing at the park and started kicking me, telling me to go die and to go cry to my girlfriend then Zack saw them and they go 'Make us stop' so Zack like pushed them or something. I just, i don't know. I'm just scared."
"scared of what?" I felt his brown eyes locked on me. I looked up at him.
"scared of people. I guess. I don't know. Scared of being treated like I shouldn't be alive. Because maybe if i'm treated like it, maybe its true." I looked back down to the ground.
"I realize you are probably starting a crush on Alex but believe me when i saw that you are, so far, a beautiful person. If you weren't to be here, wouldn't you be dead already?"
"Lisa..." I said under my breath
"What?" He looked forward
"Lisa, I've attempted so many times. Like 5. Lisa saved me each and every time. It just, it makes me feel like Lisa should of just let me die already."
"If you were meant to be dead, Lisa wouldn't of saved you all those times." His words, his voice, his emotion in the saying echoed in my head.
"well, i still don't want to go to school"
"its the last day, though! Besides, you will be sticking with me. You are in like all of my classes but one. Which is P.E" my heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest.
"Thats where i get picked on the most"
"well, my class is a free period so I will go to the gym and just mess with writing and stuff and make sure you don't get picked on" he smiled to me. I felt my heart skip a beat. I smiled back.
We finally got to the school. I expected stares and glares but instead we got nothing.
The time passed quite quickly in homeroom, quicker than i imagined.. i walked towards the gym as i felt a pair of arms wrap around me. My neck was being tickled by a warm breath. Then my ears finally heard the "Hey you" smirk coming from Jack.
"Hi" i giggled out. He laughed at my response. I walked into the locker room as girls stripped down into only thongs and bras. I didn't find any of these girls attractive. Lisa on the other hand...no..no.. i can't seriously be thinking about LISA. I pushed that idea aside and got dressed in one of the stalls. My shorts sagged enought to cover most of my thighs but not too much. My light gray shirt made me look completely flat chested. I stared at my reflection, saying in my head 'wait ever happened to you'. I glanced down to the scars of past suicidal moments. Memories rushed back faster than i could push them back away.a
"COME ON LADIES" my P.E teacher screamed, making my memories stop.
I started walking out of the locker room and i could hear girls laugh.
"Alicia. Are you on your period?" One girl who wasn't techniqully my friend but was definitly there for me.
"Why?" My heart raced.
She cleared her throat. My eyes widened.
"MRS. MATHEWS, CAN WE GO TO THE NURSE. PLEASE" she got it right away and shot us a thumbs up as she took attendence.
"Cover me" i whispered back. Thats when Jack ran up beside me.
"Whats going on?" I took in a deep breath.
"nothing!" I choked out.
Me & Clarissa rushed into the nurse's office and left Jack outside.
The nurse handed me about 3 pads. One to wear and 2 for the day. I took Clarissa's jacket and wrapped it around my waist to cover myself.
I walked out and looked back to Clarissa. I felt my body hit the ground. I groaned and covered my face.
"Today is getting better and better." Jack helped me up and Alex glared at me. "Sorry" i said.
"Yeah." He went back to talking to Jack.
"come on" i grabbed Clarissa's wrist and rushed down the hallway, covering my face. We finally got back to the gym and Mrs. Mathews told us to get dressed and to just sit out.
I got dressed again but took my spare black skinny jeans out and checked if everything was okay. I would have to check most of the day.
Before i knew it, i was sitting alone and blaring Green Day into my head.
I felt a small tap on my leg and looked up to see Alex. I took one headphone out as he sat next to me.
"sorry for snapping at you" he stared away from me.
"Its okay. I get it a lot. I'm used to it" i smiled to him.
"you know, you're pretty happy for a person who gets picked on everyday by people" his hand met the back of his neck and he was now looking at me.
"i've been through a lot and i keep saying everyday, life gets better"
"have you ever been...suicidal" i realized he was getting at my arms.
"Yeah... It was worse when i was 13..." I didn't want to mention his glorious girlfriend but i had to. "Lisa saved me like 5 times" his jaw dropped.
"5 times?" I felt tears form in my eyes.
"Yeah"
"I-i'm sorry about..ever...EVER...being a jackass to you" he pulled me into a hug that was quite awkward.
"its fine"