Standing in The Rain

Looking back now, I see everything in full view, everything right there splayed out. Hitting me in the face like a just thrown punch, telling me all the crap I've been talking about is happening or happened. Everything.

Jackie is with me, he has his head on my stomach and he's looking up at the clear sky
it's cool and breezy, the perfect twilight hour that June has seen this year. "What are you thinking about?" I ask him, "Everything..." he smiles, "like what?" I whisper in his ear as he puts his head against mine, "About Rapsody Laurel, Hannah Elizabeth Kaye, and Micheal Leeland Rush." he says. I wait, "What about them?" I ask, "What they will look like, will they be like me or as beautiful as you. And which one will come first." he says with a groan as I dodge his kiss. "Why are you thinking about our unborn children?" I say lightly, he smiles..."I was just wondering." "Oh."
"What about you? You've been awful quiet." he says still smiling. "I've been thinking too." "About what?" he knows I'm being serious when I wait for him to tell me to continue, "About everything...." "God Love, come on." he says, "I was thinking about how long I will exist." I mumble, "Jesus, you're only seventeen!" he shouts, "I was just wondering, sugar, I'm not dying anytime soon, unless you have some silver handy." he grins, but in all honesty I really wonder if I'm that strong. That only silver would kill me. This time when he leans in I let him kiss me, running his hands over my showing skin. I love this time of day, even though we are in his backyard, it's still heaven. I look up at our tree, the one we carved our names on when I was fourteen and he sixteen. I lay back in the grass and let him surround me, I love another but for now I can only love him, a human, yes, but one day that will change. But not today, "Jackie! Jackie! Stop. Get off, come on get up..." I say as I push him off of me, the Maryland sky still has a dusk like glow, "I'm sorry, my Love."
"It's okay, just you know, I'm deadly, we talked about it...our wedding night ok? Remember?"
I say rubbing my arms, it's starting to get cold. "Yes, I'm sorry." he says then wraps me in his arms, "I don't want to turn you yet." I say, "I know." then I close my eyes and feel this horrid ache again that has been there for as long as I've been damaged...

I drag myself home that night and collapse in bed wondering if we made any progress at all by what happened tonight, that's me, I always analyze to see how things will help or not, conversations, outfits, hell, even what I do like go to school, if it will add another fracture to my life. Or if it will help it heal. I think I can peg tonight as a fracture 'Fracture Nuber 69: Jackie is so ready to die.' I laugh at myself, my mother gives me this quzzical look and finished reading her bills. I stop at the bathroom on my way to my room, should I take a shower? What if I slip on the tub floor and hurt my self? I shudder and go to bed. While I sleep I dream, I dream of what has happened to me this week. Everything. Seeing Jackie at the Votec (which is where I go everyother weekday to get some sort of social boundaries since the even thought of going to school makes me gag and buckle at the knees.) Then I dream of my mother telling me the house bill has left her broke, then I remember how Storm made fun of the fact that I don't go out to eat. I wake up somewhere in all of this and tell myself (outloud, which I do often) that 3:00 in the morning is an acceptable time to start the day.
"Love, get the laundry for me?" my mother asks, I pick up the pile of laundry and go down to greet her. "Mother, why are you doing laundry at this hour?" I ask giving her one of my 'Oh it's official, you're wierd as well' looks. "Why are you awake at this hour?" I hate it when she answers my questions with a question. I roll my eyes and decide to go outside.
I put on a hoodie and grab my Vans, leaving the front door unlocked and leave out into the just now rising dawn. I glance up into the sky hoping to see some morning stars, and sure enogh, there is one. One, all alone, just like me.

Storm's P.O.V.

God why does Love have to be this way...she never answers her cell and I've not spoken to her all freaking week.....
I breathe in taking the air up into my lungs and hold it in until it hurts. I finally let it go and try her again. Nope. Answer machine. She is so posh. I love the child to death but not even she answer the damn phone be it an event to take her life. Worries does she.
I leap off the bed I know she's awake. I sprint out the door to her house.

"Love!" I shout while knocking on the door. No one...it's 6:oo. Her mom's not home. Saturday's she works...where's Love?....God why can't she like me even the least bit.