All That I've Got

A Year And A Half Ago: Carys' P.O.V.

"Your coming to the after party, right?" Lauren asked loudly as we watched the game.

Tonight was our school's football game against some out of state team, it was also the night before the prom. Lauren was my only remaining friend, Stephenie's dad had been transfered to Japan, Megan had moved with her aunt back to Wyoming and Ella had moved to Florida. Why we had decided to come to the game when we both knew absolutely nothing about football, I've no idea. The jocks weren't even remotely cute in my eyes, though it was always the biggest and most popular ones that tried to flirt with me on a daily basis.

"I think so, my parents said it was okay, you're sure there's going to be absolutely no alcohol?" I asked worriedly, receiving a playful slap on the arm from Lauren.

"You worry way too much," she said looking at me with a smile. I knew perfectly well that Lauren drank socially, she also smoked at least two packs of cigarettes a day, she found nothing wrong with either. If you ever wanted a friend that was the perfect blend of slutty cheerleader and rebellious blonde, then you found it in Lauren. She was the perfect bad example, the girl your parents warned you to stay away from. "I'm sure Kyle will have you locked in a closet before the other guys even touch a beer."

"Try not to be any more caring," I said sarcastically, eyes drifting down to the field at the jock she was referring to. Kyle West, the biggest guy on the football team, most popular in school, the guy that every 'normal' girl wanted her hands on. Why in the hell was he interested in me? I'd been depressed and moody ever since my friends left, but even if that was normal for teenage girls, still, I was nowhere near being in the cheerleading squad.

The game ended an hour later, our fellow students cheering when it was declared that our football team had beaten the opposing team. Lauren proceeded to drag me from my seat high up on the bleachers, pulling me after her as we made our way to the parking lot.

"To Kyle's house we go," Lauren said smiling after I'd shut my door, sighing as she pulled out and we began the ten minute drive to the guy's house. "I don't know why you don't like him Cary, he's a good kisser."

"Of course you'd know," I said bitterly, my harsh comment doing nothing to damper her mood. "And you know I hate that nickname."

"And you know that Carys isn't a popular name for a girl, where'd your mom get that from anyway?" she asked switching topic.

"I don't know Lauren, seriously, how much have you had to drink to make you so perky?" I asked her with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not even going to bring up the fact that it's illegal, and you know drinking isn't the only thing I'm talking about."

"For a sixteen year old you sure are uptight," she remarked as we pulled up in front of the West house. Kyle's parents had perfect timing as they were on a cruise in the Bahamas, leaving the house to their only son. So with no adult supervision, alcohol, loud music, and basically half of our school, some laws were about to be broken.

Lauren wasted no time in dragging me to the door, a random guy opening the door and smirking down at the both of us. While I'd dressed for the weather and worn jeans and a jacket over an old band t-shirt with my hair pulled back under a baseball cap with almost no makeup, Lauren wanted to draw attention to herself. She wore a purple and green corset with skinny jeans, not caring that the corset enhanced her chest area. Her hair was long and curly, black eyeliner bringing out her dark brown eyes. I seriously did have to ask myself why I hung out with this girl in the first place.....

I was once again pulled along, the loud noise of some sucky pop band trying to be punk meeting my ears as we squeezed through crowds of roudy teenagers, some of them already occupied in making out with their dates. Beer bottles were everywhere of course, and lamps were getting pushed over left and right from drunk teenagers falling into tables, this definately wasn't my kind of party.

"Hey Josh," Lauren said in a seductive voice as she pulled the shirt collar of a guy whose back was facing us. Josh Nelson was her current boyfriend, and when I say current I meant the first one of the week. The two proceeded to make out right in front of me, signaling that I was on my own for the rest of the night.

I made it to the least occupied corner of the room, sitting down on the very end of a couch, knees pulled up to my chest as I sat, eyes not really focused on anyone or anything.

"I could just leave, she wouldn't even notice until after she and Josh get finished with each other," I muttered to myself, no one around to call me crazy for the act.

But you could stay, there's tons of cute guys here.

And then there was that voice in the very back of my mind, the voice that I never trusted. For some reason I listened to it, though I kept my opinion that none of the jocks appealed to me in the slightest.

"Having fun?" a smooth voice asked as I felt someone sit down beside, why did that voice sound familar?....

"Kyle West," I said simply, still staring ahead and not giving him much of my attention. I'd rather be thrown into a pool of bloody water with six hungry tiger sharks than make conversation with the biggest jerk to ever live. "And sorry to rain on your parade, but watching teenagers get drunk and destroy someone's house really isn't my idea of the party of the year."

"Why so bitter?" he asked in that same voice, my skin tingling as he brushed some of my hair behind my ear. Knowing that he had the power to pound me to a pulp in a second was what made me fearful, why was he being so gentle though?

"Because the world's disappointing and lust triumphs over love, I'm sure you'd know plenty about that second one though," I said coldly, refusing to let my guard down around him. He was dead wrong if he was thinking what I thought was on his mind. "Becoming an intern for Dr. Phil?"

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," he laughed. I was nothing but timid as he wrapped an arm around my waist, probably mistaking my slight shaking for butterflies in my stomach or something. "Yeah, I think you're just afraid to let people know the truth."

Really, when I'd removed his arm and shoved through crowds of people to get upstairs and hopefully away from him and any other drunk guys I hadn't planned that he'd come after me. I was just about to lock myself in a bathroom and dial my mom's cell phone so that she could come pick me up, when I felt a firm grip on my upper arms. I didn't even have to look up to see that Kyle wasn't too happy with my sudden leaving.

"Why in such a hurry when the party's just getting started?" he asked in that same voice, complete fear traveling through my body when I'd finally realized that his breath smelled of alcohol, oh god no....

"Just let me go Kyle, I didn't even want to come in the first place. Congradulations on winning and everything, but I really don't want to be here," I said with a pathetic attempt to walk away, clearly that wasn't working, and we were the only ones upstairs. Not only was he drunk and not fully aware of what he was doing, but he had complete control. Screaming was useless, everyone was too drunk to be of any help, and Kyle's grip meant no way of getting help.

"I don't think I'll let you go just yet Carys. You see, you've been ignoring me for the past few months and I just have this curiousity as to how attractive you really are," he slurred slightly, grip never loosening. Instead of keeping me in this current position he folded my arms to my chest, keeping them down with his own as he walked me into an empty guest room, closing and locking the door behind us. I really wasn't liking the chances of what was going to happen next, I obviously wasn't having any say either.

Kyle pushed me down onto the bed and straddled me, making sure there was no way I could get away. Tears started streaming down my face as I realized what he really had in mind, and the fact my parents thought I was at some harmless football game after party made me feel ashamed of myself for ever trusting Lauren in the first place. Every move that Kyle made made me even more fearful of him, and as he ignored my tears and planted soft kisses along my neck and jawline until reaching my t-shirt, he realized that he had me now.

"You tell anyone about this Winters and I swear, I will kill you. You had this coming the day I saw you walk into the school and you deserve every last thing I'm going to do to you tonight, remember that," he whispered harshly in my ear before his hands traveled agonizingly slowly down my body, hands stopping at the zipper of my jacket.

And I lied there limp as he did whatever he pleased, my whole body screaming in pain when he was finally finished, smirking down at me before he got dressed and left the room. That night I walked home, in the dark and dangerous streets of New Jersey.

And when I got home I collapsed in my mother's arms, this secret in my throat that I'd never be able to tell her. For the weeks that followed that night, I refused to leave my room, and only then did that leave my parents the only choice of sending their daughter into the care of a trusted asylum, completely unaware of what would plague their little angel for the rest of her life.