All That I've Got

Carys' P.O.V.

I let out a low groan as I stirred, adjusting my eyes to the light before I opened them. I looked to see Frank and Jake sitting on either side of the bed, their attention turning to me.

"Hey Car, you okay?" Frank asked, seeming a bit uneasy about something.

I shook my head as I sat up, sighing as I rubbed my temples and hoped to get rid of the headache that was disturbing my thoughts. They thought I didn't notice the look they gave to each other, but that's what caused me to look up at them again. They were definitely up to something and I knew it.

"Car, what if I told you that Jake has a plan to get to the bottom of what the asylum was really up to?" Frank started out. If anything, that made me even more suspicious. Jake had that same serious expression from earlier on his face, and he was avoiding direct eye contact, that meant it was really big.

I sat still as I focused my eyes on Jake, waiting for him to continue.

"No freaking out Carys," he warned as he pointed a finger at me, waiting for me to slowly nod, sneaking a quick look at Frank to get some hint as to what the heck was going on, no luck. "I'm going to admit myself into the asylum and find some kind of a way to shut them down. I'll document their every move if I have to. I already talked to Mom and Dad and they've agreed to help me. I'm doing this tomorrow, and I don't know how long I'm going to be in there," he finished, looking down at his hands.

It took a total of two seconds before I realized just what he'd told me. He was admitting himself into an asylum, without any visual handicaps or trauma of any kind, a place where they would drug him until he couldn't think straight. He was doing this because of me, and our parents had agreed to it....

"Carys, we have to find out what's going on there, if I can save more people from going through what you are right now, I'm gonna do it. I have to Carys," he said, looking into my eyes, the spark in them as bright as ever.

I shook my head repeatedly as I clung onto his arm, tears already streaming down my face despite the battle of composure I'd been fighting. I couldn't believe this. He was doing it all for me, no matter what he said, this was all for me. He was going to die there. The strong were the first to go, and that's why I never got attatched to anyone at the asylum. So many of them were so confident that they were getting out, and fighting the medicine only made the pain worse. As I clung to my brother for dear life, all I could think about is how I would go on if something did happen to him, how I'd never be able to live with myself.

"Shhh, Carys," Jake said soothingly as he wrapped his arms around me, head resting on mine as he hugged me. "You have to believe in me Carys, I'm going to make it out of there, I just need to know that you think I can do it."

I nodded into his shoulder. I obviously had no say, but Jake was determined to do this, and even though I was sure he wouldn't be able to find anything, he could get close.

I eventually cried myself out, trying to take even breaths as the tears stopped. This was already killing me inside, but I was going to stay strong for Jake, even if it meant admitting that there was a chance that he might not come back, that he'd never know about the cause of all my breakdowns, that the asylum trying to kill me was a dream come true among all the misery I felt.

The Next Morning: 5:30 AM: Carys' Hospital Room

"Now you've got everything planned?" our mom asked as she held onto Jake, tears making their way down her usually cheerful face.

"Mom, I've got so many backup plans that the CIA might have to hire me when I get out," he said laughing as he hugged her.

"Take care of my little sister, man," he said as he moved onto Frank, embracing him in a friendly hug.

"No doubt, Jake," Frank said with a few tears as he patted him on the back. "She's safe with me."

Jake nodded his head, moving onto me as he sat beside me, squeezing me tightly when I hugged him.

"Carys, you are the best sister I could ever ask for, you mean so much to me and that's why I'm doing this. Stay strong for me, okay? Things are gonna get better, I promise," he said sniffling as I nodded my head. "I love you Car, so much."

He held me for two minutes more before pulling away, eyes already red from the silent crying he'd been doing. "I'm coming back Car, remember that."

I took this time to see everything about my brother that I'd never really noticed, the fact that his dark red hair always hung over his left eye, that his blue eyes shone whenever he was thinking, that his smile always made things a little better. I had to remember him. If he didn't come out of that place, I had to remember the person he had been, the person that was always there to catch me when I fell.

He was the only brother I had, and now with a new baby on the way, he was also risking the chance to never see his new sibling. Every detail of Jake was imprinted into my mind as I hugged him one last time, allowing him to pull away after one last squeeze.

Mom forced Jake to sit back down so she could take pictures, and Jake and Frank both slung their arms around my shoulders. Despite myself, I did smile when the picture was taken. She took a few more before letting Jake back up, and he gave everyone one last hug before stopping at Mom.

"If I don't come back Mom, let that kid know that I love them. Don't let them grow up not knowing me, please," he said with teary eyes as he hugged her again.

"Of course Jake, I love you way to much to even think differently. But now you have this plan to work out," she said smiling as she pulled away, wiping the tears from her son's eyes.

Despite the schedule that he was trying to keep, Jake hugged me once more.

Whether it was by miracle or not, I managed to remind him to be careful in the highest voice I could muster, and it was barely a whisper.

"I will Car, I promise," he said nodding, and with that, he and Dad silently left the room. They were going to the asylum, and Jake would say his last goodbye to Dad before everything started. But even though I still felt a bit of anger at my parents for not telling me about having a future sibling, I let my mom hug me in an attempt to comfort me. I'd been completely unaware of the tears that were silently being shed without my control.

"I am so sorry we didn't tell you sooner Carys, we love you so much and I didn't know how you'd react. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry that I ever made you think I didn't care," she sniffed as she squeezed me. I nodded in understanding, hoping that was enough to know that the hate had dissolved immediately. She did care, I realized that now.

And now, as I knew that my father and brother were driving to the prison I had only recently escaped, I knew that whatever happened, that these people still cared, that they always would. And it was comforting to know that.