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Reminiscing

I sat back next to him. He had fallen asleep again, but learning everything I had gone through in the last few months was enough to keep me up. I had met him in my pajamas. Embarrassing. I was found kissing another man in a closet. Scandalous. He most definitely was my first. Sweet.

I still couldn't remember any of it. I remember meeting my best friends; I remember the first time we sang in front of a crowd. I remember the first time I made a fool out of myself by kissing Nate (who I guess is my ex boyfriend now) infront of some local fans; all male.

I remember going to my first Fall Out Boy show, talking to some merch dude that I never saw again. I remember being three rows from the pit, not close enough to the stage to touch any one of them. I just......I hate not remembering who I was when was in love.

I wanted to know what it was like. I wanted to remember what it was like in his arms. I wanted to remember what making love to him felt like. I sat next to him and stared at the ceiling. Well, the walls weren't going to bring my memories back. His face wouldn't either. I already tried staring at him. That was awkward.

I tried to get out of the bed without waking him. Thankfully, whatever the doctors had put him on knocked him out cold. I walked into my room and laid on my bed. Dev walked into the room, looking tired as hell with dark bags under her eyes and kind of dizzy.

"You OK?" I asked. She smiled.

"Yeah. I haven't slept in three days, but I'm OK otherwise." she answered.

"Then....then go book a room in a hotel and come back in the morning." I suggested.

"Now why would I do that while my best friend is in the hospital?" she asked.

"Because, that friend demands you get some sleep tonight!" I said. She sighed.

"Still the same Paige. I'm not going to win this!" she said. I smiled a very cheesy smile and she giggled.

"OK. I'm going to get Jeremy and head out then. It's kinda late." she said.

I nodded and she leaned down th hug me.

"See ya in the morning Paigey." she called on her way out. I grunted in agreement and turned in the bed. I looked out the window in my room. I was raining. I was so used to snowing. The Cheese State gets kinda cold.

But I enjoyed the rain. It calmed me enough to let me push things I couldn't remember to the back of my mind. My eyes started drooping. They got heavier and heavier until I couldn't keep them open any longer.