Crystal Ball

I was in the old tree house, pacing back and forth. I adjusted the icicle Christmas lights that I had scrounged up from the basement and hung from the walls. Everything just seemed wrong in the too-small space as I waited for Emma. I had told her to meet me at nine thirty, and it was already nine forty two according to my phone as I checked it for the millionth time.

I was nervous. More than that, I was scared. I don’t know why I allowed myself to make this decision. Logically, I knew the right thing was to back out, to say no. But logic was not with me, at least not then.

I stopped short from pacing when I heard the wooden door squeak open. Turning, I watched as Emma walked in. “Why’d you want me to meet you up here—” she started before stopping as she looked around the tree house. “What’s all of this?”

Before I lost my nerve, I moved to close the door behind her, making sure to latch the lock securely. “Well, I-I uh,” I tried to start, before taking a breath and speaking the next sentence in that one breath. “I wanted it to be perfect. Your first time is supposed to be perfect, you know.” Noticing the ‘deer-in-headlights’ look on her face, I backtracked. “Unless, you’ve changed your mind. I mean, I understand if you did…” I trailed off.

“You did all of this?” she asked, still shocked. I could only nod dumbly, stuffing my hands in my pockets. Oddly, I was terrified of her changing her mind. The air tasted of rejection. “For me?”

“Yes,” I answered, my voice unusually small. “If its too much,” I began.

“Its not,” she interrupted, her hand reaching up to wipe the fringe out of my eyes. “Thank you, Alex.”

I could feel a smile pull at the corner of my lips as I looked down at Emma. “Anything for you,” I promised, watching her smile grow.

“So, uh, how are we going to do this?” she asked, glancing around awkwardly.

Suddenly, my insides felt like they were on fire. My body became warm, and I knew my cheeks had to have been changing color. To hide my nervousness—or to ebb Emma’s—I took her hand as I led us to the pillows set up against the tree trunk that acted as a wall where Emma had placed them long ago in an attempt to decorate. I sat down, pulling her with me.

“This won’t change anything, right?” I asked; my eyes not meeting hers as I played with her fingers as her hand rested in mine.

“Of course not,” she answered, pulling my chin so I had to look at her. “This will change nothing,” she vowed as she scooted closer to me.

I pulled her to my chest, my arms wrapping tightly around her waist, in an effort to savor one last moment as just friends. Because no matter what Emma said, I knew what we were about to do would change things. And although I would like them to change in a certain way, I had a feeling—a premonition, really—that they would be changing for the worst.

I ran my hands up and down her back comfortingly, slowly moving to her sides. She shifted so her head was level with mine, her eyes trained on my own. Throwing my overactive thoughts out of my mind, I leaned in to capture her lips in my own. She responded instantly, her lips moving against mine as she repositioned herself so she was straddling my waist.

Her hands moved to either side of my face, cradling my head while my hands were frozen on her sides. I was tentative, knowing that there was absolutely no turning back; I wanted to take it slow. I wanted to remember every second of this night. Soon we were exploring each other’s mouths, our tongues battling for control. Her hands slipped to my shoulders, pausing for a moment before she undid first one, then another button of my over shirt.

My hands caught hers before they could unfasten yet another button. She pulled away from the kiss with a questioning glance. “Not so fast.” I laughed as I pulled her up with me. One hand wrapped around hers, I led us the middle of the tree house, pressing play on the stereo as I passed. The soft sound of a guitar filled the space as I pulled her to my chest. “First,” I started, smirking down at her. “Dance with me.”

She complied, resting her head on my shoulder as her arms wrapped around my shoulders. “This is really sweet, Alex,” she murmured.

I smiled though she couldn’t see it. “You sound surprised.”

“Pleasantly surprised,” she corrected. “I wasn’t expecting any of this.”

“That’s why I did it.” I laughed soundlessly. “You seemed so determined to just give your virginity away. I wanted to make sure your first time was something worth remembering.”

She looked up at me then, stopping our slowly spinning bodies. Her lips were on mine in an instant. But it was different than moments before. There was a new urgency to the kiss. She no longer just wanted our kiss to lead to something more. I could feel that she was thanking me without words. She was truly grateful for what I had done for her, setting the stage, so to speak.