Crystal Ball

Janie swung between Max and I as we walked through the parking lot. She laughed each time her feet left the ground, a plea for more when they hit the pavement. Max and I talked lightly of friends from Maine while Jack stayed silent on my other side.

He hadn’t spoken much since that morning after breakfast. I think he was still skeptical about Max. I loved the amount of concern he had for me and for Janie—being sure we were in the right company—but I was also miffed that he couldn’t take my word about Max. It was as if my opinions of my own friends weren’t valid.

I could see Sarah standing at the entrance to the zoo, Rian by her side. Not far off, Alex and Vanessa stood, hands clasped together. Vanessa hadn’t changed much in the past five years—she was still the same petite girl with long blond hair; she looked as pretty as ever with her tight short shorts and camisole, her bronze skin glinting in the sunlight.

“Vanessa, you remember Emma, right?” Jack asked politely as we approached the foursome.

She smiled—fake as ever—and nodded slightly. “Of course.” Her voice held the same whiny quality as years ago. My smile mirrored hers as I introduced my daughter and best friend. I could have sworn I heard a scoff while I spoke, but ignored it as I moved to hug Rian in greeting.

“Don’t worry about her,” he spoke under his breath. “She hasn’t changed.”

“Yeah,” Sarah chimed in. “We tend to just ignore her.” I smiled genuinely at her comment, linking my arm with hers as we entered the park.

Janie skipped a few steps ahead of us, excited to see the Polar Bear who seemed to be showing off for his viewers. Sarah and I talked, mostly about Max—she had to know the story—while we walked from exhibit to exhibit. I could feel eyes on me the entire day, but couldn’t force myself to turn to see whom they belonged to. I wasn’t sure which would be worse—if they belonged to Alex, or his girlfriend.

In front of the lions, Sarah took off with Rian—wanting to spend a little one-on-one time together. Jack had been lost some time before—no one knew where he had run off to. And Vanessa had chosen to walk back to the cars—claiming it was too hot, too muggy, and too sunny for her; I didn’t mind.

That left me, Max and of course, Janie—and Alex, who trailed behind us, with his hands in his pockets, silent as he barely glanced at the caged animals. I leaned against the glass, taking a moment to cool off in the shade of the overhanging canopy.

“Tired?” Max questioned as he stood beside me, watching me carefully.

I shrugged, a non-committal response, a light smirk on my lips. “I’m glad you came,” I commented honestly.

“Me, too.” We stood like that, eyes on each other, until I saw Janie start to wander down to the next exhibit. “I’ve got her,” Max offered. “Take a breather.”

I didn’t protest as he jogged to catch up with the tiny girl and scooped her into his arms. She giggled and begged to be let down. “Daddy, I wanna see the tiger!” she exclaimed. I shook my head, a smile on my lips as they walked farther ahead where—once set on her feet—she bounced up and down in front of the glass.

“He’s the dad, huh?”

The voice started me. I hadn’t realized that Alex was still near, let alone just a foot beside me. “What?”

He nodded to the tiger’s cage before glancing up at me. “He’s her father?” he questioned, obviously struggling to keep his tone light and conversational.

I was shaking my head as I corrected him. “No, she just calls him that sometimes.” Alex raised a brow, so I continued. “I thought you and Jack were best friends, do you guys not talk at all?”

“You mean Jack knows who the dad is?” he asked slowly, skeptically.

“I don’t know, I don’t think so,” I answered honestly. “But he knows that Max is definitely not Janie’s father.” Even though I knew it was probably pointless, I decided to take the opportunity Jack not talking to Alex about Janie and me presented, and keep my secrets a little while longer. Alex didn’t need to know the specifics. He knew that Janie was my daughter, which should be enough for now.

I wasn’t ready for the fight that would ensue when he started to unveil the details. I wasn’t ready for Alex to know the whole—true—story. Maybe he was better off believing the lie, I told myself.



The zoo had been exhausting. I rejoiced when we parked outside of the Gaskarth household where a cool pool awaited us. I let out a breath as I stepped out of Jack’s car, him, Max, and Janie following.

Janie basked in the attention Max paid her; he always made her feel like a princess—the only person in his view, on his mind. His visit was great in that respect because although Janie never lacked attention, she wasn’t used to the people I had grown up with, though they loved her just as much as Max ever could.

He tossed her over his shoulder—her squealing the whole time—as we walked down the path between the Gaskarth’s and my dad’s homes. Laughter could be heard from the backyard and I smiled at the familiar sound. Rounding the corner, Justin could be seen trying to pull Charlotte into the pool. She had her feet planted in the grass just bordering the concrete around the pool, but Justin was a high school—soon to be college—football player who could easily overpower his petite girlfriend.

He kept at it, easily getting her onto the concrete, where she had no footing, and toward the cool water behind him. With one final tug, they both toppled into the aqua colored water. They were both laughing as they surfaced, Lottie splashing my brother repeatedly.

Janie’s attention now on the pool as she sat atop Max’s shoulder’s, she asked, “Momma, can I go in the pool?”

I smiled. “Let’s go get changed.” Max lifted the light girl from his shoulders and set her on her feet. “We’ll be right back.” Max nodded as I took hold of Janie’s hand and led her across the yard to my father’s.

We both exchanged our shorts and tank tops for two piece bathing suits. I let the hair that I had thrown in a messy ponytail while out in the humid air down, the ends just hitting the ties of my bikini on my back. After straightening the bathing suit that Janie had put on herself, I lifted her onto my hip, grabbed two towels from a closet in the hallway, and then returned to the pool.

Everyone had arrived in our absence. Rian and Sarah were already in the pool playing chicken with Justin and Lottie. Max chatted with Jack, who seemed to be warming up to him—I couldn’t help the smile that snuck upon my face at this news; my two best friends were getting along.

The smile soon fell, though, as my eyes shifted to the right. There sat Alex, his shirt discarded over the back of the chair he was seated on, with Vanessa right behind him. She seemed to be rubbing his back—maybe trying to ease the obvious tension that he was holding in his shoulders.

I don’t know exactly why—maybe it was the fact that Vanessa’s scantly-clad body made me feel insecure about my own body, or maybe it was the fact that Alex’s eyes seemed to catch mine at just that moment—but I held Janie tighter in my arms, hoisting her higher on my hip. Her arms wrapped lightly around my neck and my shoulders seemed to relax the slightest bit. My daughter was the only person who could ease my worries, my fears. I was truly blessed to have her in my life.

Averting my eyes from the couple on my right, I took a seat next to Jack, Janie moving to sit in my lap—though not still, she was bouncing up and down with excitement. Turning her turquoise eyes on me, blinking innocently, she asked, “Can I go in now, Momma?”

I laughed at her persistence while nodding my head. “Yeah, let’s go.”

We both entered the cool water, greeted by splashes from relatives and friends. And I watched and played with my beautiful daughter, not letting anything else enter my mind.