Just Making Things Harder

I woke up that morning, as usual. I sluggishly moved around my house, making myself breakfast, watching TV, things like that. I had a lot of time to spare before even getting ready.

I wasn’t really sure what to even expect of today.

From the moment my eyes were open, I knew today was going to be different. How? I had no idea.

I decided to keep myself busy by cleaning some things up, dusting, mopping. Stuff I wouldn’t normally do if I wasn’t waiting. I was really impatient, so I couldn’t just sit still.

Plus, no one was ever here to clean or even dirty things up, so it wasn’t needed very often.

Around four-thirty, I had already done everything I could have possibly done in this house. I was still just as jittery.

I finally decided to just get on my computer and find something to do on there.

My first stop was Facebook, of course. But I wasn’t expecting to find myself tearing up at the first post my eyes landed on.

Cameron Clarke is in a relationsip with Olivia James.

There were quite a few likes on it, and just as many comments. I didn’t even want to look at the comments.

I clicked on Cameron’s Facebook page, not sure what I’d find.

Covering the entire page, where pictures of us once stood, was picture after picture of him and Olivia. Them smiling, laughing, kissing. The mere sight of it made me sick to my stomach.

I hadn’t even realized I was crying until a sob shook my body.

I slammed my laptop shut and got off my bed, heading downstairs. There was only one thing that would help me now. The one thing I had been neglecting for the past week.

I picked the lock and pulled out two bottles, moving into my living room and sprawling out on the couch.

I popped the top and let it pour down my throat. I specifically chose Jack Daniels, knowing it would settle the problem better than anything else.

I vision was beyond blurry when I had finished the first bottle. I may not seem like it, but I wasn’t a light weight. I could hold my alcohol.

But then again, I had never attempted to take down two whole bottles on my own. I guess that would be changing.

Half-way through my second bottle, I was giggling non-stop. I had no idea why, I just couldn’t quit.

Then I heard a knock on the front door.

Who could that be? I asked myself. I had completely forgotten if I had plans today.

I went to get off the couch, but my legs wouldn’t carry me and I ended flat on my stomach on the ground.

The knocking persisted, but I was starting to black out. This has never happened before. But it didn’t set off any alarms in my head.

After some work, I managed to get my arm to work and raised the bottle to my lips once again. There was only a little bit left when my consciousness drifted more, causing me to lose feeling in my arms. The bottle fell onto the carpet, some of the liquor pouring out before it settled on the side of the bottle.

I groaned, but couldn’t even move. I couldn’t manage to see anything, either. It was just blurry.

I hardly registered the sound of the front door opening. Who knew where the key was?

There was a voice echoing through the house before it got louder right above her. Then everything finally faded out.



When I finally woke up, my head was pounding. Worse than my usual hangover. My surroundings were the same, the almost empty bottle of Jack on the floor, the room darker then before. I assumed it was night.

Then my stomach lurched.

I lunged off the floor, taking off up the stairs to the nearest bathroom.

I emptied my breakfast from that morning and other various thing into the toilet. I groaned before retching some more, nothing coming out that time.

When I finally felt like I could keep everything down, I got up and stumbled out of the bathroom. My throat was beyond dry, so my first trip was to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water and some Advil, downing three of them before going into the living room to lay down.

Before I made it there, I noticed something sitting on the coffee table. It was a note.

The handwriting was neat and a briefly wondered who could have been in my house. Then my blood went cold as I saw the name at the end, and everything flowed back to me.

I guess I wasn’t worth your time. Sorry to be a bother. - Oliver

I slouched down onto the couch, just staring at it.

I had a date with him today. And I got completely hammered and passed out. He was suppose to pick me up at six. I glanced over the clock and cringed when it read about 10:30.

I drank a little more of my water and went up stairs, finding my phone immediately.

I had one text a little before six, Oli asking where I was. I quickly typed out a text to him, rambling on about how I was sorry and I didn’t mean for it to happen.

There was no reply.

I tried calling him once. It rang twice and then went to voicemail.

Dropping onto my bed, I sighed. He probably would never talk to me now.

I didn’t even know I had fallen asleep until my alarm for work woke me up.

My headache was gone, which was a relief. I got dressed and went in, having to drive myself for the first time in a week.

All day I was hoping he’d come by. But it was pointless, he never showed.

There were a few more texts sent his way before I finally headed home.

The next day, I sat in my living room, hoping he would be knocking on my door at the normal time to take me to school.

He didn’t.

I drove myself, getting to class just before the bell rang. He was sitting there, but he had moved seats across the room and didn’t even look up when I came in.

I got in my seat and stayed quiet the whole time. I heard whispers going about, I only caught onto a few words and it was them asking why Oliver and I were so far apart.

When the bell rang, Oli was one of the first people out of class. I followed after him and tried to grab his arm, but he just snatched it from me and continued on.

At lunch, after I had gotten my food, I glanced over to their table. They were obviously trying to take up all the room so no one could sit down. Lee was glaring at me, which I expected.

I found a lone table in the corner and stayed there.

The rest of the day went by terribly, and I didn’t attempt to confront Oli at school again.

I went straight to work after school, changing in the back room. No one important came in all day.

When I closed up, I was disappointed. Mostly in myself, but also in how I handled things.

Driving on the way home, my thoughts drifted around.

I already knew it wouldn’t be too easy to solve this. I guess I really fucked up, didn’t I?