Your Love Is the Sweetest Sin

I took one big step and I looked away

I start rolling over the bed, avoiding the sunshine trying to sleep again. Did I just say sunshine? I leave the comfort of Adam’s bed. He moves slightly “What’s going on Nat? Come back to bed, I can keep you warm.” He mumbles pulling me back to bed, I kiss him.

I start collecting my clothes “I can’t Sisky, I fell asleep in your house, my parents are going to kill me.” Still half asleep he rubs his eyes. He stares at me with droopy eyes, after he asimilates my last words he jumps out of bed. "Have you seen my pants? I can't find them."

He chuckles. “No, but you look better without them. So do you want me to take you home before school?” He pulls his head through a shirt.

I walk towards him, and I place my hands around his neck as I kiss him. Even in situations like these I can't help myself. Can you say love? His lower lip ends between my teeth, my hands slide slowly under his shirt. A soft moan escapes his throat, I push him back. “You dummy, today is Saturday.”

Adam steps closer, arms tight around me. I struggle to escape his embrace but his arms tighten even more around my waist. Someone has been working out. I twist watching him smirk. “What do you want now Sisky?”

His eyebrow moves suggestively. “I think we have time for a quickie.”

“I think I had enough sex for a while.” A grin appears on his face. Adam sweeps me up in his arms. I must say he is pretty strong for a skinny guy. "You know that the dance floor where I do my best is your mattress."

He tosses me over the bed. I feel his warm breath against my skin making me giggle. His lips kiss me playfully. But since you've been gone I can breathe for the first time Im so movin' on. Why didn't I turn off my phone? He grumbles rolling off me, I reach the phone in my pocket as I sit on the bed. “Hello”

“Natalie, where the hell are you?” A voice from the other side of the phone starts yelling. Sisky walks to the bathroom after kissing my forehead. “Hey mom, I, um…”

“I know that you aren’t with Wendy, she was trying to find you, we were so worried about you.”

I roll my eyes “Mom, I’m fine.”

“I know that you are with Adam, we’ve talked about him, he is no good for you, now come home right now, because we need to talk!” I didn't even have a chance to respond because she hung up.

“Yeah mom, I love you too” I shut my phone back to my pocket, looking at the ceiling, a sigh escapes my mouth.

“Is everything ok Nat?” Sisky rests beside me.

“Yeah, you know my mother.”

“Come on Nat, I’ll take you home” He helps me up. Hugging me, we make it downstairs. He opens the door with one hand, and another on my waist, we continue to his car.

I stare at Sisky in silence, like I usually do in the morning; he notices and lets out a laugh. “Why are you staring at me like that? Stop doing it.”

“Adam do you love me?”

“Sure I love you, you are the best thing in my life, you are the reason that I live for, my heart would be empty without you.”

“I love you too Adam.”

We arrive at my house, fifteen minutes later.

“Adam I can’t imagine my life without you.” We look at each other's eyes, without saying anything, we don’t need words, I can read it all in his eyes. A voice from outside breaks the moment.

“Natalie! You better come here right now!” Furious mother.

I give Sisky a smile, kiss his cheek and make my way to the doorstep. I know what is coming. I shut the door behind me, I throw my bag over the couch and sit in front of my mother. After good twenty minutes she finally stops cursing. Tension.

“Natalie, you know what I think of that boy, I don’t like him.”

“Mom, It's not what you think, I don’t care if you like him or not, as long as I love him!”

Fake harsh laugh, she gets up and walks in circles around the living room. “You don’t know what love is, you are too young.”

“I’m sure that I know more about love than you!” Oops, big mistake. She turns to me full of anger. Maybe not, I've wanted to spit this out a long time ago, and this may be just the correct moment. “Yeah, you think I don’t know that you just married my father because of me. I’m aware that I’m a fucking mistake, I know that you had your plans and I ruined them, but I won’t let anything or anyone ruin my life. I’m going to do whatever I want to, I want to make my own mistakes, just let me live my own life, you had your chance and you didn’t take it, it’s not my fault that your life sucks! ”

I feel a slap on my face, mixed up emotions. My cheeks burn with hate and the tears slide down my face. It’s the hit on my pride what hurts more than the physical pain.

“You have no idea of what I’ve been through!” She stands in front of the window for minutes “You had sex with him didn’t you?”

“Sex, fucked, made love, call it whatever you want, yes I did”

“Filthy whore” she turns to me, after thinking a while, she lifts her index “I want you to get out of here, go pack your things and leave the house, I don’t want to see you again!”

I storm to my room, grab a suitcase and start picking up my stuff, my clothes, some CDs, and photo albums. When I zip the suitcase I realize that I am in my room for the last time, I am never coming back.

Before leaving I see my mother in the living room, stirring her cup of tea. “I won’t apologize because I don’t regret anything that I have done” She continues sipping her tea ignoring me completely, I look down at my shoes “I didn’t want to leave this way.”
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