His Fingertips Have Memories

Bob was sitting at a red light about two minutes away from the diner when he realized that he had driven Amy to lunch and she had no means of transportation back to her hotel.
“FUCK ME,” he yelled, as he hit his head against the driving wheel. The horn blared and the driver in front of him honked back. Holy crap, could I be more of a goddamn idiot?! He drove back to the diner. She was sitting on the diner steps, talking on her cell phone. He could hear her say that she’d call the person back and saw her hang up. Bob lifted his hands.

“Really sorry, Amy. I totally forgot,” he said, completely embarrassed.

“It’s okay, I forgot also,” she said blushing. The only reason they both forgot was because they wanted to get the hell out of the diner as fast as they could.

“So, I guess you need a ride or something…”

“Um, no actually. There was a yellow book by the pay phone inside the diner and I called for a cab,” she said.

“Oh,” mumbled Bob, he kicking a stone on the pavement. “So, I’ll be seeing you around then?” She nodded; Bob waved, turned and left. Bob wanted to scream, but he didn’t. He drove around aimlessly for about 15 minutes and he ended up and Gerard’s and Mikey’s house. He walked in and saw Gerard, Mikey, Frank, and Ray sitting at the kitchen table, eating pizza. They all greeted him and he gave a measly wave. He sat down and leaned his cheek against his hand.

“How was the dentist?” asked Frank, in between bites. “You don’t look to well; you get a root canal thingy?” Bob ran his finger along the side of the cardboard box, he had to tell them sometime, and keeping a simple phone call a secret for a whole week killed him. Bob pulled his hood over his head and laid his head on the table. “Cheer up emo kid,” said Frank.

“What’s wrong, man?” asked Gerard.

“I didn’t go to the dentist,” mumbled Bob.

“You lied!” said Frank in a mock offended voice.

“So, what’s up?” asked Mikey. Bob mumbled something incomprehensible. “Anyone catch that?” Everyone shook their heads. “You’re gonna have to speak up buddy,” said Mikey.

Bob picked his head up, elbows on the table, face in his hands.

“I love her,” Bob confessed.

“Krista?” asked Ray. Bob groaned, and put his head back on the table.

“Okay, well anytime you want to start making sense, just holla,” said Frank. Bob picked his head up once again.

“Not Krista,” Crap, his girlfriend. He was so confused, everything was so complicated. He thought he had loved her, but he seriously doubted his feelings for her. He never thought he’d feel so strongly about Amy again. How could he love Krista when he’d leave her in a second if he could go back two years?

“Talking to you is like pulling teeth,” said Ray with a laugh.

“Amy,” said Bob, not looking anyone in the eye.

“Aw, man. Haven’t you gotten over her by now?” asked Mikey, Gerard glared at him.

“I thought I was,” he said, pausing. “But then she called and she moved back to town and I love her and I don’t know what to do, I just love her so much. And I told her she was tan! Holy crap! I said she was tan! How stupid can I be?” Bob told them the whole story in detail. No one said anything, they just looked at him. “Someone say something,” mumbled Bob.

“You really said that to her? You said she was tan?” asked Mikey, a bit shocked.

“Go fuck yourself,” said Bob. Bob got out of the seat, walked out of the house and walked towards his car. All he wanted was support from his best friends but they couldn’t even do that for him. Wasn’t there anyone left in this world that he could count on? He didn’t want to believe that he was the only person he could trust. Bob started shaking, he felt so alone. He heard someone calling his name, he turned around and Gerard was walking towards him.

“What do you want? Here to criticize me? Tell me how stupid I am? I already know that. Or are you here to tell me what a selfish bitch she is, because she’s not,” snapped Bob.

“Why don’t we just go for a walk?” asked Gerard. Bob stood there for several moments, slammed his car door shut and they started walking. No one said anything for a while, they just walked. Gerard finally spoke after 10 minutes.

“Don’t get mad, but I don’t think you love her,” Bob went to speak, “Let me continue. I think you’re confused. You know? She’s a different person now, and so are you. Two years is a hell of a long time and I know that you know that better than anyone else. I mean, you said yourself how awkward it was between the two of you, you can’t just pick up where you left off and I know that hurts. Too much has happened between the two of you that I just don’t think it’s possible. I don’t think things can be the same between you and Amy ever again. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but that’s just my input. Whatever happens though, I want you to know that I’m always going to be here for you, and I mean it. And I know she said that to you too, and I know that after she left you had a hard time trusting anyone, you still do, but you can trust me. You can trust all of us.” Gerard looked at the ground. Bob didn’t know what to say. This was just too much for him; he couldn’t deal with all of this.

“Okay. Thank you,” said Bob. He stopped walking; he sat on the small strip of grass in between the street and the sidewalk. Bob put his face in his hands Gerard looked at him

“I just wish someone could make all the decisions for me,” sighed Bob.