Hurricane

Mikey stared at me in disbelief. He sat up and pressed his back against the headboard. I sat up too, wondering of what he would say.

I mean, I waited on anything he said. I didn't think I could grow a baby without Mikey's permission.

"Fuck." He muttered.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked him.

He looked at me with a fierce look in his eyes, "Gimme a second." He responded coldly.

I scooted away, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my head there. I felt overcome with emotion, and as usual, I nearly began to cry. I held my breath as Mikey took deep ones beside me. Finally, he put a hand on the small of my back, and pressed his cheek to my shoulder.

"What do you want to do, Rooney?"

I hadn't ever thought about what I wanted. Whatever I did, it was to benefit Mikey and myself. 

"I don't know." I had whispered.

"Do you want to keep it?"

I remember looking at my stomach; it was flat, but I still had a roll of fat there. I didn't know how to feel about this, about the baby. About you, Izzy.

"I...I'm not sure." 

Mikey pulled me over to him, "If we keep it, things will get rougher, y'know. If we don't...we don't."

"What do you want?" I asked him honestly.

He sighed, "The right thing...what we should do is get rid of it. We should've invested in some condoms."

I felt my body tense at his words, but I didn't know what to say. I lack words to tell him that I didn't like his tone. Or, I think I was afraid of Mikey and the possible outburst.

"I want the baby." I uttered absentmindedly.

Mikey didn't say a word. He didn't speak as he got up and went to the bathroom. That night, I fell asleep alone.

I think he was afraid. I still think he's afraid, Iz. 


Since we, or rather I, decided to keep you, Mikey took me a ways out of town to see a doctor. I had gotten vitamins and we talked about the alternatives, but since Mikey was silently hoping I would abort, I wanted you. I wanted him to see that you wouldn't be such a bad thing for us. 

I hate to say this, but in the beginning, I used you as a mechanism to have control. Mikey had control of the money, where we lived and what went on in our home. I had control over my body now, I was taking care of you, I was having you, and he couldn't say anything about it.

In the end, I think he resented me because I care more about you than him. He hated that I gushed about you kicking and the fact that you're a girl. He didn't like saying the baby, or even calling you by your name. He called you It a lot, and many times it hurt my feelings, but I knew he was just saying it to get a rise out of me. He never really did get the rise he was hoping for.


I was living in a short lived fairytale when I was pregnant. I thought we would live happily ever after. But, as you know, we were criminals, in a way. Mikey has killed people, and I think people thought I helped. I did help, I helped Mikey get away.

This crime show had played a segment about us on TV, when I was about 5 months along. The depiction of us was, almost, right on the money. They showed Mikey busting in and shooting my father, and him tying myself and my family up; which was slightly wrong. They had dramatized that I was forced to leave, and me being shoved in a closet while he shot his family.

They even showed the dash cam video of Mikey shooting the cop. Seeing it in a different angle didn't make a difference; it still shook me.

I had looked over at Mikey, his jaw had slacked and he didn't say anything. The host on TV said to call in, and to give any information if they had spotted us; he added that we had been spotted in Louisiana, Alabama, Texas and Phoenix. My mother even came on at the end, pleading for my safe return. It was all so real again, as if it were happening all over again.

I got sick, I threw up. I had begun to shake, and I sobbed. Mikey had stood at the bathroom door; he was shocked too, because we had been depicted on a television show, he didn't know what to say or do.

He didn't speak a word as he came over, helped me up and helped me brushed my teeth. He took a wash cloth and damped it with cool water, before he cleared up my blotchy face. He took me to bed and brushed my hair back, kissed at my neck and pulled the comforter over us.

We had tried to get to sleep, but loud sirens had alerted us. With all the lights shut off, the blue and red light illuminated our front window. There was a massive knock in our door, Mikey put a hand to my mouth, I think I had started to whimper.

"Police! We need you to evacuate!" 

Mikey and I didn't move. I swallowed thickly, looking up at Mikey, he was looking over at the door. There was another pounding, and then hushed voices, "We need you to evacuate! There's a gas leak!"

Mikey was unsure, but he got up anyway, "Stay still." He told me.

He went to the door, I laid in the bed and he opened the door; "Sir, we're evacuating the building, we heard your wife is pregnant."

Mikey nodded, "Yeah, we have no where to stay."

"It's for a few hours sir."

"Hold on." 

Mikey came back over to me, grabbing my sweatshirt and our sneakers and helped me put mine on. I kept looking at the cop, waiting for him to say something. I waited for him to bust us, to call us by our real names, but he didn't.

"You all can return in the morning, if you have any questions, just call the police department." The police man smiled at us.

"Thanks." Mikey mumbled.

He and I got into our car, and we drove a block away before he pulled over. He took my hand in his and he took heavy breaths, "We have to get out of this fucking town."

"W-where do we go? What about our things?"

He sighed, "We'll go to a hotel tonight, I'll come back in the morning to get necessities." He looked at me, "Where do you wanna go?"

I bit my lip, "I don't know. Wherever you want to go."

He smiled at me, "How does Wyoming sound?"

"If that's where you wanna go..."

He leaned over and kissed my cheek, "I love you, Rooney."

"I love you, too, Mikey."

Even if we felt at ease, our hearts were still racing. With that segment and the police randomly showing up at our apartment complex, everything felt as if it were too hot. We couldn't be in one place too long, or we would be getting burned. I felt, in that moment, that having you during this time, wasn't right. I didn't want to bring you into this roller coaster of a life, I was afraid to keep going, knowing you'd have to live this life too.

I had asked myself; when would this end? When would we be able to live freely, without worrying? What kind of life would we be giving you if we had to keep running?

I never wanted that for you, believe me, Izzy. I always want more for you, because you deserve it. At the same time, I was so in love with your daddy, I couldn't help but let you live this type of life.