Hurricane
Manic
Everything around me had moved so quickly that I barely noticed time had actually past. I only stopped and noticed, when it was near Christmas, and Mikey was in my bedroom with me. I saw that it was snowing outside, and I peeked out my curtain; I could feel the cold, even with the heater blowing full blast in my house. The Christmas lights of our small street made it look like something out of one of those Christmas movies.
My own home was decorated as such, but no one in my house attempted to celebrate the holiday. My parents got sauced, while I stayed up in my room, or with friends, wishing I was having the type of Christmas they were. But, this year was different, Mikey was with me, and I was OK with how my situation was.
"Merry Christmas." Mikey's voice made me jump slightly; he stood behind me.
"Shit, you scared me," I cursed softly.
"Sorry," He grinned wickedly at me, "I didn't mean to."
"It's alright," I turned, letting him wrap his arms around me, "are you going to leave me today?"
Mikey shook his head, "Nah...Christmas at my house isn't really...something I want to be around."
"Why not?"
He sighed, "Well...it's hard to talk about."
I nodded slowly, really wanting to hear it. For the simple fact, I had shared a lot with Mikey, and I had barely scratched the surface with him. I wanted to know everything about him...
"You know you can tell me anything," I had told him softly; slowly enticing him.
He looked down at me, "Can't I just be Snarky Mikey for you? You don't wanna see Blubbering Mikey."
I looked at up at him, furrowing my brows, "What?"
He let me go, slowly, letting his hands trail down my waist and onto my hips, "I'll tell you when the time is right."
I blinked, nodding again and rested my head against his shoulder. Mikey tightened his arms around me again, letting that feeling of closeness take me over.
I had always wondered why he never told me then, because when he did tell me, he had said it should have been said sooner. It still haunts me how close I was to fixing it all, helping Mikey, and helping everyone around us. I could have prevented so much.
Why didn't I push? I think it's what bothers me, everyday, is that I didn't push. The trauma after everything, as the doctors says, is what made it all slip my mind. Still, the burden of preventing such a horrible event haunted me, even when I didn't remember what it was.
That Christmas was one of the last times I felt truly loved and happy to be alive. I was with someone who wanted to be with me, other than having too. I was with one of the last persons I loved.
Spring came quicker, and the earlier winter months had passed, making me forget about Christmas, and what Mikey had felt and said. I never really went to his house after, he spent a lot of time at mine, sleeping over and wasting his time with me. We had grown into more than just lovers, we were friends, and that's how we acted; as friends.
Sure, Mikey was my boyfriend, but we acted truly as best friends. It wouldn't hit me, until girls hit on him, that he was mine. I would catch myself admiring him as more, and knew that I could have that. It was funny, I flirted and acted like I was trying to pick up on him; it made Mikey laugh and forcibly act bolder in our "I'm in charge" game. That's when a lot of the cringing started; but hell, I loved the cringing.
It was during March-April showers, that Mikey's attitude changed a lot. He was more hyperactive, and his mood would vary on the days; his mother, when I saw her, blamed it on the weather. Oh, how wrong we were.
Whenever he would show up at my window, I let him in. I didn't understand, especially after I met his wonderful mother, why he hated being home. I never saw the flaw he did; his brother was nice, as well as his father. I never looked beyond the home, like I should have.
"Do you like Third Eye Blind?" Stefani asked me; it was a week before Spring Break, and all I could think about was TEB canceling their NJ show.
"Yes! Why?" I smirked at her.
"Guess who has two tickets?" Stefani grinned.
"Someone who's going?" Mikey piped up; he and his two friends had joined us for lunch; Frank and Erik.
"Shut up." Stefani rolled her eyes; she still hadn't grown accustomed to Mikey, "I have two tickets, for this Saturday, and I wanna give them to you, Ladonna."
I smiled widely at her, "Why?"
"Because, I felt bad..." she gave me a devilish smile, "And my older sister owed me. The only problem is that it's in New York, and I can't go."
"Shoot...I don't even think my parents will let me go." I told her.
"I'll take you." Mikey cut in again, "Just tell them you're gonna hang out with Stefani." Mikey grinned at her.
Stefani looked uneasy, though she hadn't said anything. I gave her an apologetic glance, then at Mikey; "No, it's okay. I can't keep lying to them anyway." I looked over at Stefani, "I'll ask and get back to you on it."
She nodded, "Sure thing."
After lunch, Mikey had pulled me aside. He had this crazed look in his eye, like he was manic, and it frightened me. I had wondered if something had upset him, but he just pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.
He kissed me hard, not even giving me the courtesy to tell me what he was doing. His hands were all over me, in the hall of school, in between changing classes, I might add. I wondered exactly what he was doing.
"Way! Rooney! Off the wall, now!" A campus supervisor yelled at it.
PDA was strictly forbidden in school, especially heavy petting. Especially the way Mikey assaulted my body so freely.
I wiped my damp mouth and looked at Mikey with concern and confusion. He didn't look phased, though, that manic look was still in his eyes.
"You two know PDA is forbidden on school grounds!" The campus supervisor was a guy in his thirties, going bald, and I hadn't recalled his name. I didn't like him, most people didn't, because he was so rude and made disgusting comments towards the Freshman girls.
"She's my girlfriend. I was just kissing her." Mikey excused dully.
I caught the CS's glance, "She doesn't look like she liked it, Way."
"It was nothing," I started, "may we go now? We're already late."
The CS shook his head, "I'm taking Way to the principal's office."
Mikey groaned, "Oh, come on!"
"He didn't hurt me, I promise!" I butted in, "Just, let him go."
The CS gave me a creepy smile, making me uncomfortable, "You'd do anything for your little boyfriend?" He sneered cockily at me.
Mikey jumped between us, I retreated back, "Not her. Leave her alone." He turned back to me, "Get to class, Roo. I'll see you after school." He pecked my forehead, yanking on the CS's jacket to pull him down the hall; his eyes didn't leave me until I walked off to class.
Now that I remember it, I think the eyes will always haunt me. Aside from the guilt, those disgusting eyes will be in the back of my mind.
For my next few periods, I wondered if Mikey was alright and if he were in trouble. I didn't see him in our English class, and I didn't see him in our last period, PE. I had asked Frank were he was, and all he said was; "He got suspended."
"How do you know?"
"He told me to tell you. He was leaving the principal's office when I was coming in. His dad picked him up."
I sighed, "Shoot."
"He said to come over after school."
"Thanks, Frank."
Frank nodded and went off to the boys' locker room.
I had changed back into my clothes, from my gym clothes, stuffing them into my carry home bag to wash, and went off to say goodbye to my friends. We usually hung out after school, but, since I was going to go see Mikey, I wouldn't be doing so.
"Ladonna, can we talk?" Kendra and Stefani both asked simultaneously.
I had raised my brow, "Yeah, sure. What's up?"
We all leaned against the wall, near the front entrance, "Well...I think there's something wrong with Mikey." Stefani said first.
"Something wrong?" I questioned her, trying to understand, because I felt -and knew- I wasn't the only one to notice.
"Yeah, like...I think maybe...he has like a screw loose or something." Kendra added, "No offense, it's just...he's so...it's hard to explain."
"He just burst, you know? He's hyper one minute, then down and very mean the next. Haven't you noticed?" Stefani bit her lip.
I was afraid to answer. Afraid to validate that I may have been dating someone with "screws loose". I didn't want to be a outcast, and be shunned by my friends. I knew they never would outcast me, but I couldn't take the unlikely chance.
"No, I haven't." I lied. I lied like a coward, and I didn't show my cowardliness, because Mikey had taught me.
Kendra and Stefani looked at each other, then back at me, "Maybe, you guys should take a break...just so you can see--"
I stopped Kendra, "I'll talk to him. I'm going to go see him right now." I was upset, but I didn't show them.
"Please don't take it bad, Ladonna. We just want what's best for you." Stefani gave me a hug, and I returned it honestly.
"Thank you." I murmured to them, and I hugged Kendra as well.
My two friends were trying to help me see the light, and again, I failed to, because of my loyalty to Mikey. I was afraid to see anything but good in him, and I was afraid of social repercussions. I had been turning into my parents...slowly, but he stopped that.
My own home was decorated as such, but no one in my house attempted to celebrate the holiday. My parents got sauced, while I stayed up in my room, or with friends, wishing I was having the type of Christmas they were. But, this year was different, Mikey was with me, and I was OK with how my situation was.
"Merry Christmas." Mikey's voice made me jump slightly; he stood behind me.
"Shit, you scared me," I cursed softly.
"Sorry," He grinned wickedly at me, "I didn't mean to."
"It's alright," I turned, letting him wrap his arms around me, "are you going to leave me today?"
Mikey shook his head, "Nah...Christmas at my house isn't really...something I want to be around."
"Why not?"
He sighed, "Well...it's hard to talk about."
I nodded slowly, really wanting to hear it. For the simple fact, I had shared a lot with Mikey, and I had barely scratched the surface with him. I wanted to know everything about him...
"You know you can tell me anything," I had told him softly; slowly enticing him.
He looked down at me, "Can't I just be Snarky Mikey for you? You don't wanna see Blubbering Mikey."
I looked at up at him, furrowing my brows, "What?"
He let me go, slowly, letting his hands trail down my waist and onto my hips, "I'll tell you when the time is right."
I blinked, nodding again and rested my head against his shoulder. Mikey tightened his arms around me again, letting that feeling of closeness take me over.
I had always wondered why he never told me then, because when he did tell me, he had said it should have been said sooner. It still haunts me how close I was to fixing it all, helping Mikey, and helping everyone around us. I could have prevented so much.
Why didn't I push? I think it's what bothers me, everyday, is that I didn't push. The trauma after everything, as the doctors says, is what made it all slip my mind. Still, the burden of preventing such a horrible event haunted me, even when I didn't remember what it was.
That Christmas was one of the last times I felt truly loved and happy to be alive. I was with someone who wanted to be with me, other than having too. I was with one of the last persons I loved.
~
Spring came quicker, and the earlier winter months had passed, making me forget about Christmas, and what Mikey had felt and said. I never really went to his house after, he spent a lot of time at mine, sleeping over and wasting his time with me. We had grown into more than just lovers, we were friends, and that's how we acted; as friends.
Sure, Mikey was my boyfriend, but we acted truly as best friends. It wouldn't hit me, until girls hit on him, that he was mine. I would catch myself admiring him as more, and knew that I could have that. It was funny, I flirted and acted like I was trying to pick up on him; it made Mikey laugh and forcibly act bolder in our "I'm in charge" game. That's when a lot of the cringing started; but hell, I loved the cringing.
It was during March-April showers, that Mikey's attitude changed a lot. He was more hyperactive, and his mood would vary on the days; his mother, when I saw her, blamed it on the weather. Oh, how wrong we were.
Whenever he would show up at my window, I let him in. I didn't understand, especially after I met his wonderful mother, why he hated being home. I never saw the flaw he did; his brother was nice, as well as his father. I never looked beyond the home, like I should have.
~
"Do you like Third Eye Blind?" Stefani asked me; it was a week before Spring Break, and all I could think about was TEB canceling their NJ show.
"Yes! Why?" I smirked at her.
"Guess who has two tickets?" Stefani grinned.
"Someone who's going?" Mikey piped up; he and his two friends had joined us for lunch; Frank and Erik.
"Shut up." Stefani rolled her eyes; she still hadn't grown accustomed to Mikey, "I have two tickets, for this Saturday, and I wanna give them to you, Ladonna."
I smiled widely at her, "Why?"
"Because, I felt bad..." she gave me a devilish smile, "And my older sister owed me. The only problem is that it's in New York, and I can't go."
"Shoot...I don't even think my parents will let me go." I told her.
"I'll take you." Mikey cut in again, "Just tell them you're gonna hang out with Stefani." Mikey grinned at her.
Stefani looked uneasy, though she hadn't said anything. I gave her an apologetic glance, then at Mikey; "No, it's okay. I can't keep lying to them anyway." I looked over at Stefani, "I'll ask and get back to you on it."
She nodded, "Sure thing."
After lunch, Mikey had pulled me aside. He had this crazed look in his eye, like he was manic, and it frightened me. I had wondered if something had upset him, but he just pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.
He kissed me hard, not even giving me the courtesy to tell me what he was doing. His hands were all over me, in the hall of school, in between changing classes, I might add. I wondered exactly what he was doing.
"Way! Rooney! Off the wall, now!" A campus supervisor yelled at it.
PDA was strictly forbidden in school, especially heavy petting. Especially the way Mikey assaulted my body so freely.
I wiped my damp mouth and looked at Mikey with concern and confusion. He didn't look phased, though, that manic look was still in his eyes.
"You two know PDA is forbidden on school grounds!" The campus supervisor was a guy in his thirties, going bald, and I hadn't recalled his name. I didn't like him, most people didn't, because he was so rude and made disgusting comments towards the Freshman girls.
"She's my girlfriend. I was just kissing her." Mikey excused dully.
I caught the CS's glance, "She doesn't look like she liked it, Way."
"It was nothing," I started, "may we go now? We're already late."
The CS shook his head, "I'm taking Way to the principal's office."
Mikey groaned, "Oh, come on!"
"He didn't hurt me, I promise!" I butted in, "Just, let him go."
The CS gave me a creepy smile, making me uncomfortable, "You'd do anything for your little boyfriend?" He sneered cockily at me.
Mikey jumped between us, I retreated back, "Not her. Leave her alone." He turned back to me, "Get to class, Roo. I'll see you after school." He pecked my forehead, yanking on the CS's jacket to pull him down the hall; his eyes didn't leave me until I walked off to class.
Now that I remember it, I think the eyes will always haunt me. Aside from the guilt, those disgusting eyes will be in the back of my mind.
~
For my next few periods, I wondered if Mikey was alright and if he were in trouble. I didn't see him in our English class, and I didn't see him in our last period, PE. I had asked Frank were he was, and all he said was; "He got suspended."
"How do you know?"
"He told me to tell you. He was leaving the principal's office when I was coming in. His dad picked him up."
I sighed, "Shoot."
"He said to come over after school."
"Thanks, Frank."
Frank nodded and went off to the boys' locker room.
I had changed back into my clothes, from my gym clothes, stuffing them into my carry home bag to wash, and went off to say goodbye to my friends. We usually hung out after school, but, since I was going to go see Mikey, I wouldn't be doing so.
"Ladonna, can we talk?" Kendra and Stefani both asked simultaneously.
I had raised my brow, "Yeah, sure. What's up?"
We all leaned against the wall, near the front entrance, "Well...I think there's something wrong with Mikey." Stefani said first.
"Something wrong?" I questioned her, trying to understand, because I felt -and knew- I wasn't the only one to notice.
"Yeah, like...I think maybe...he has like a screw loose or something." Kendra added, "No offense, it's just...he's so...it's hard to explain."
"He just burst, you know? He's hyper one minute, then down and very mean the next. Haven't you noticed?" Stefani bit her lip.
I was afraid to answer. Afraid to validate that I may have been dating someone with "screws loose". I didn't want to be a outcast, and be shunned by my friends. I knew they never would outcast me, but I couldn't take the unlikely chance.
"No, I haven't." I lied. I lied like a coward, and I didn't show my cowardliness, because Mikey had taught me.
Kendra and Stefani looked at each other, then back at me, "Maybe, you guys should take a break...just so you can see--"
I stopped Kendra, "I'll talk to him. I'm going to go see him right now." I was upset, but I didn't show them.
"Please don't take it bad, Ladonna. We just want what's best for you." Stefani gave me a hug, and I returned it honestly.
"Thank you." I murmured to them, and I hugged Kendra as well.
My two friends were trying to help me see the light, and again, I failed to, because of my loyalty to Mikey. I was afraid to see anything but good in him, and I was afraid of social repercussions. I had been turning into my parents...slowly, but he stopped that.