Let's Get Carried Away

She put her car in park before turning the engine off and removing the key from the ignition. She smiled, licking her lips as she pushed open her car door. Pulling her bag out of the passenger seat, she settled it on her shoulder, pushing the lock as she searched through it for her cell phone. She shut the car door quite loudly, rushing towards the apartment.

Just inside the door, she dropped her bag onto the old, worn out sofa. She sighed quietly, biting her lip as she looked around the open apartment. She pressed a hand against her forehead, the other on her hip as she weighed her options.

She shed her work clothes, opting to shower, shaving and using her expensive conditioner. She ran her hands through her hair, rinsing the product out of it, enjoying the feel of the hot water against her sun-kissed skin. She turned off the shower water, reaching for her towel. She wrapped it around her body and wrung the water out of her dark brown hair. She turned on the fan to clear the fog from the mirror as she brushed her teeth and wiped her remaining make up off.

Still in her towel, she left the bathroom and padded down the hallway. She pounded her fist on her roommate’s bedroom door. “Em!” she shouted, continuing to pound on the door, holding her towel around her with the other hand.

The door swung open, much to her delight, but much to the distaste of the girl on the other side. “Fuckin’ A, Grayson!” her roommate swore under her breath. “Is your life goal just to interrupt my sleep as much as possible?”

“Only when I need you to dress me and fishtail braid my hair for the party tonight,” Grayson said with a charming smile. Em gave her a death stare, rolling her eyes eventually, brushing past her to go down the hall to Grayson’s room.

Em pushed open the door to her best friend’s room and frowned. Clothes were strewn everywhere. There was a bra on the lampshade, an inside out pair of jeans on the desk, and a basket of unfolded clothes spilled on the bed. The bed wasn’t made, a pile of blankets at the foot of the bed.

“Put on some underwear,” Em told her, looking her over quickly. “It’s kind of weirding me out that you’re wearing only a towel.”

Grayson winked at her before walking towards her dresser and searching through the drawers. She stepped into a pair of underwear and dropped the towel as she fastened the clasps of a red push-up bra behind her back. “I’ll even put on pants, just for you,” she teased, reaching for a pair of half inside out skinny jeans. She pulled them up her legs, buttoning them with a sigh. “Happy?”

Em nodded before frowning again. “Are you doing this because my brother got home this morning and you know he never misses a John O’Callaghan party?” she asked skeptically.

“Oh, Josh is home?” Grayson questioned with a shrug. “I had no idea.”

“You’re a sick person. You’re asking me to pick out the clothes that my brother is going to be taking off of you in a few hours. That’s disgusting.” Em pursed her lips as Grayson opened her closet and motioned for her to come closer. Em searched through the row of shirts, pulling one off the hanger and handing it to her friend. Grayson couldn’t stifle a giggle as she pulled the sheer black shirt over her head.

The relationship between Em’s brother, Josh Montgomery, and Grayson had been there for a long time. When he was home from tour, they were together, but while he was touring, they weren’t. It was known by most that their relationship was nearly entirely sexual, but for them, that was easiest. There was no need to impress one another or put on a charade of a relationship.

They had tried dating for three months, two years earlier, when Em introduced them, but they had differences that neither of them could get past. In bed, though, those differences didn’t matter. Their relationship was built on lust and they liked it that way. Grayson had known very well that Josh arrived home that morning. In fact, Josh had been the one to text her about the party, telling her that she ought to go.

“Are you going to get trashy girl status drunk tonight?” Em asked, blow drying Grayson’s hair so she could begin the fishtail braid.

“Maybe. Depends how long it takes for your brother to find me.” She shrugged as Em shuddered. Grayson rolled her eyes, used to Em’s disgust in their relationship. “You know that’s how it’s going to be. As soon as he sees me, he’s going to drag me to a dark room.”

“I’m aware of this. Stop moving your head; you’re making it hard to braid,” Em grumbled, forcing her friend to face forward. She sighed softly, taking her time to braid her friend’s hair. She finished, tying an elastic around the end of the braid. “There.”

“Have I told you that you’re the best?” Grayson questioned, toying with the braid. She looked at her best friend through the mirror above the vanity, smiling as she reached for her phone, which was in her lap.

“Not lately,” she teased with a wink, dropping to the edge of Grayson’s bed. “Are you going with a red theme tonight?”

Grayson shrugged. “Not sure. Why?”

“Well, your bra is like, bright red. I bought a new thing of red nail polish, and you know my brother has a thing for red lips, as gross as that is,” Em added with a visible shudder.

She pursed her lips. Her phone, resting on her thigh, vibrated and she knew who the text was from automatically. Butterflies swarmed in her stomach as she read through Josh’s text; something about how he wanted to see her right then, rather than in a few hours. She couldn’t help but smile, sending back a retort about how she’s sure he says that to all of the girls.

In all honesty, Grayson missed him. It had been months since he had laughed at the way she refused to sleep in the nude. She could easily recall the taste of his lips and the way his fingers traced patterns over her skin as she drifted off to sleep. She regretted the fact that their relationship failed.

“I know you’re talking to him.” Em’s voice pulled her out of thoughts with a jolt.

“What?” she asked, frowning slightly. She had only managed to catch the last part of her friend’s sentence.

“I know you’re talking to him,” Em repeated. “You’ve got that little twinkle in your eye that only shows up when you talk to him, and you’re practically drooling. It’s completely gross.”

“Is gross your favorite word or something? Honestly,” Grayson scoffed defensively, standing up quickly. She walked towards the bathroom, reaching for her make up bag. To her surprise, Em didn’t follow her. She was able to apply her make up in peace, and examined herself in the mirror. She painted her nails, and while she waited for them to dry, she smiled softly, thinking about Josh.

Once her nails dried, she reached for her favorite necklace and put it on quickly. She remembered that she’d left her earrings in her room the last time she’d taken them off, so she headed back down the hall, make up bag in hand. She reentered her room to find Em curled up on her own bed, dozing.

“You’re drooling on my pillow,” Grayson pointed out, putting her earrings in. Her best friend jolted awake, running a hand through her hair. She only shrugged as Grayson rolled her eyes, reaching for her boots. She stood up as Grayson sat on the edge of the bed, stuffing her feet into her boots and zipping them up.

“You look incredible, by the way,” Em said, looking over her. Grayson looked up with a smile as a blush tinted her cheeks.

She cleared her throat and pushed her bangs behind her ear. She stood up, wiping her slightly sweaty palms on the thighs of her jeans. She walked across the room to her dresser and grabbed the overnight bag that was sitting on top of it. She opened her drawers at random, stuffing clothes into the bag. She packed enough for two days, knowing that she’d probably need more. She located her wallet and shoved that into the bag as well. She slipped the tube of lipstick that Em had handed her earlier into her pocket, along with her phone.

“Don’t let him drive drunk,” Em instructed her friend. Grayson nodded, rubbing her lips together.

“Well, I think I’m going to head out now. Josh is already there.” She couldn’t hide an excited smile. “See ya.”

She took off from her room, pausing only in the bathroom to grab her toothbrush. Her purse was still on the sofa in the living room, so she picked that up as well. She slipped her finger through the key ring of her car keys and headed out the door.

She tossed her bag in the backseat and started up her Honda Accord. Before putting it in gear, she opened the glove box, pulling out the mixed CD that Josh had made her before he’d left for tour, three months ago. She put it in the CD player and smiled. She listened to the CD often and thought of him.

Twenty minutes later, Grayson parked on the street outside of John O’Callaghan’s condo. She left her bags in the back and turned on the interior light of the car. She flipped open the mirror in the visor, fishing in her pocket for the tube of red lipstick. She applied another coat and popped an Icebreakers mint into her mouth. She took a calming breath, toying with the charm on her necklace. She nodded assure herself that she was ready, and pulled her key from the ignition. She stepped out of the car, adjusting her shirt and locking the car. She began walking towards the house, but didn’t even make it to the doorstep before seeing Josh.

He was sitting on the hood of his car, parked on the street. He had a cigarette poised between two fingers and he smiled when he saw her. There was a fluttering in her stomach as she got closer to him. He slid off the car and took a final drag from the cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stamping it out with his foot.

When she stopped in front of him, neither of them spoke, only smiled. She pressed her lips together nervously, avoiding his eyes. He laughed quietly and she looked up at him.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, smiling down at her.

She giggled quietly and he wasted no time, wrapping his arms around her waist. She bit her lip as he held her tightly. She could smell cigarette smoke on him and she inhaled deeply. He finally pulled away a moment later, his hands moving down to her hips. She smiled sheepishly as she felt his eyes roam over her.

“You, uhm, y-you look very...red,” Josh told her, running a hand through his hair with a bit of a nervous laugh.

Grayson licked her lips, looking down at her boots. “Em kind of told me to go with it.”

“Well, I’ll have to thank her later.” He looked over her again, smiling appreciatively. “But you look great, as always.”

She couldn’t help but grin as she looked up at him. His bleached blonde hair was messy, as always. He pulled off the disheveled look very well, and he likely hadn’t shaved in a day, maybe two. He was watching her very intently, his cool blue eyes moving over her.

A silence fell between the pair, which Josh broke rather quickly.

“Hey, do you wanna maybe ditch the party?” he asked, licking his lips anxiously.

Grayson scoffed, biting her lip as she teased him. “You? Wanting to ditch a party?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “You do realize that you’re passing up free booze, right?” She giggled quietly.

“Trust me, you’re more intoxicating than that alcohol.” She only laughed, calling his bluff. “Okay, seriously though. I want to spend some time with you.”

She couldn’t hold back a smile. “Give me an hour,” she suggested. “I mean, c’mon. I came here to party.” She gave him a wink before turning and walking towards the door of the condo.

“That’s not fair!” he shouted after her. Smirking, she held up her middle finger without looking back at him.

As soon as she entered the condo, she sighed quietly and looked around. She spotted a table, covered with red cups, obviously filled with booze. The reached for a cup and lifted it to her lips. She took a sip and the liquid burned on its way down.

She wandered into the kitchen where she waved to her friend Dre, who was dating one of Josh’s band-mates. She spent the next forty-five minutes wandering around, chatting with random people. Josh was following her, keeping close to her so she couldn’t slip away.

He wasn’t drinking much, just studying her. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, and occasionally she’d glance over at him and he’d smile, offering a wink. The look in his eyes was something she’d never seen from him before. It was beyond lust and she kind of liked it.

An hour on the dot after she’d left him outside, he crossed the room to her and pulled her from her conversation with Dre and Stephen. He kissed her hard on the mouth immediately and several people in the crowded room looked shocked, and a few of the drunkest people in the room cheered. Grayson was rather surprised, but smiled when he pulled away. His hand was still poised in the small of her back, holding her close. He kissed her again quickly lacing his fingers through hers.

Josh pulled her through the crowd and once they reached the door of the house, he held it open for her. The air outside was cool and she hadn’t realized until then just how warm she was. They made it to the lawn before he stopped.

“What are we doing?” she asked with a quite laugh.

“I am taking you back to my apartment where I am going to kiss every inch of your skin, then make sweet love to you, likely on my kitchen table, until I simply can’t anymore,” Josh told her, kissing the back of her hand. Her cheeks flushed softly and she couldn’t help but giggle.

“Should I just follow you to your apartment?” She was already fishing in her pocket for her car keys.

“No. I’m driving,” he said, holding firmly to her hand. “I’m not giving you the chance to sneak out once I fall asleep.”

“When have I ever done that?” she questioned seriously. She always stayed over at Josh’s, not only because she very much enjoyed spending hours curled against him, but also, because his bed was extremely comfortable. She didn’t tell him this, but she knew where his spare key was, and a few times when he was on tour, she’d gone over and slept in his bed.

“I’m just making sure,” he assured her, his arm going around her waist as they walked towards his car. He kissed her temple and she leaned against him a bit. He opened the door for her once they got to his car, and the ride back to his place was quite.

When he parked outside of his building and took her hand again as they headed inside. They were barely inside the door when his lips found hers in the darkness of his apartment. He kicked the door closed with his foot as Grayson wove her fingers through his messy hair.

“I really missed you,” he told her quietly, his lips barely brushing over hers as he spoke. His stubble was rubbing against her jaw and she smiled at his words. His fingertips were moving over the skin of her lower back and she shivered, arching into him. He chuckled quietly and she buried her face in his neck quickly before kissing the skin there.

As the night progressed, she quickly remembered the rush she felt at his touch. He hadn’t lied about his plans to make love to her on his kitchen table. He was rough with her then, but she didn’t mind. When they finished in the kitchen, she was still shaking and blissful when he carried her bridal style to his room down the hall.

He laid her on his unmade bed gently, flipping on the amber colored light beside the bed before leaning over her. She licked her swollen lips nervously as Josh kissed her knee softly, then her naval. He finally kissed her lips, resting a bit of his weight on her. Smiling, she let her eyes close slowly as he kissed her again, his callused fingertips exploring her skin. She gasped softly as Josh pressed into her again, moving slowly. She arched her back, her leg wrapping around his waist, putting him at a better angle, and he buried his face in her neck quickly.

Half an hour later, Josh was kissing her again slowly. His arms were around her waist, holding her tightly. Grayson fiddled with the ends of his hair and couldn’t help but laugh as he kissed down her jaw.

“What’s with you?” she asked softly, sighing comfortably.

“What do you mean?” Josh licked his lips quickly, looking her in the eye. He was smiling warmly, a hickey visible under his jaw.

She shrugged, rolling onto her side to face him. “You’re being very...serious,” she said, thinking through her words. She smiled a bit, pressing her thumb against the hickey under her jaw. “Usually, we have sex, then go right to sleep, but tonight, I don’t know. The look you’re giving me is different, and you’re holding me tighter than usual.”

Josh didn’t say anything, studying her closely. Silence surrounded them and Grayson soon felt sleepy, clinging to him.

“Damn you for not letting me drive myself here,” she said, yawning loudly. “All of my bags were in my car.” She grumbled a few things under her breath, stretching out and rustling the sheets.

“I don’t see why you can’t just sleep the way you are,” he teased, amusement in his voice. She only gave him an annoyed look, rolling onto her stomach. Josh propped himself up on an elbow, looking down at her. He dipped to kiss her shoulder. “You know where my clothes are; you’re more than welcome to sleep in them.”

She smiled softly before slipping from between the sheets. As she walked to his dresser, across the room, she could feel his eyes on her bare frame. She quickly pulled on one of his t-shirts that he’d owned for the longest time, as well as a pair of boxer shorts that he rarely wore. Silently, she walked back to the bed, leaning into him instantly.

His arms wound around her and his hand quickly found its way up the back of the t-shirt to rest in the small of her back. She scooted as close to him as possible, her eyelids becoming impossibly heavy.

“Want to know something?” he asked as she was just barely clinging to consciousness. Her grip on him was loosening, her eyes sliding shut quickly.

“Hmm?” she responded, hardly awake at all.

“Nevermind, just sleep,” he told her, kissing her shoulder softly. None of his words registered though, for she was already asleep.

Grayson was the first of the pair to wake the next morning. She was on her back, her legs tangled with Josh’s. His head was on her shoulder, his face pressed into the skin of her neck. She smiled, her eyelids still heavy. She tried not to wake him as she yawned, stretching as much as she could. She could feel his damp breath on her neck and she ran a hand though his hair gently. She turned her head to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was nearly nine o’clock. Her nose scrunched in disgust at the early time and shifted a bit. When she moved, he grumbled something under his breath before raising his head.

Josh smiled at her, still half asleep. “Morning, love,” he said, yawning.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” She shook her head, cursing at herself.

“It’s okay, Gray,” he assured her. He dragged his lips over hers before pressing his face into her shoulder.

“Go back to sleep, Josh,” she told him, toying with his hair again.

He shrugged. “I meant to set an alarm earlier. I wanted to get up early and make you breakfast.”

“Really?” Grayson asked, surprised. That really wasn’t like him.

“Yeah, but hell, you’re awake now.”

“That I am,” she said, smiling and moving closer to him a bit.

He smiled back at her, kissing her shoulder once. “I missed you while I was gone,” he told her honestly.

Her cheeks flushed softly and she looked away from him. She pushed a hand through her own sleep matted hair, groaning. “I really need a shower,” she said, changing the subject.

Josh chuckled. “Then let’s shower,” he said, kissing her quickly before rolling over her to leave the bed. He dragged her out of bed as well, tugging her towards the bathroom.

He set out towels for each of them and turned on the water, allowing it to heat up. He kissed Grayson again before pulling the t-shirt she was wearing off over her head, and pushing the boxers down her hips. Both of them naked, he smiled, pulling her into the shower.

Goosebumps rose across her skin instantly and she cursed, pressing against him. He chuckled, his hands finding her waist quickly. He pushed her then wet hair out of her face, kissing her softly.

“Turn around,” he told her quietly.

“What is with you?” she asked, watching him as he reached for the bottle of shampoo.

“What do you mean?” he responded, starting to work the shampoo into her hair.

“You’re acting differently. We never shower together, and you certainly never make me breakfast,” Grayson pointed out. She bit her lip, trying to keep from letting know how much she was enjoying the way his fingers massaged her scalp.

“Does it really matter, Gray?” he asked, starting to rinse the suds from her hair. He sounded a tad irritated, yet she pushed the subject further.

“A bit. I’m just curious, honest,” she told him, reaching for the shampoo bottle. “You’re kind of tall, so I’m not sure how this is going to work.”

He cracked a smile, bending a bit at the knees for her to wash his hair quickly. “I just—I don’t know. I just really missed you,” he said, shrugging it off as he tilted his head back to rinse his hair. She nodded, silently agreeing to drop the subject.

The rest of their shower passed quickly and quietly. When they were done, Josh turned off the water and reached out to grab one of the towels. He wrapped it around Grayson, kissing her forehead before reaching for his own towel. They dried off and she pulled on the same clothes of his that she’d slept in, since her bags were still in her car, parked at John’s.

Josh laced her fingers through his and walked to the kitchen. He picked up his car keys from the counter, handing them to her. “Go get your bags from your car, and I’ll start breakfast,” he said, already heading for the refrigerator.

She smiled softly, looking at the keys in her hand. She felt a tad silly about her appearance as she stuffed her feet into her boots. Her hair was wet and wavy, she was wearing an ill-fitting t-shirt with holes in it, and a pair of boxer shorts with Christmas trees on them, along with her favorite boots. She grabbed her bag from the counter as well before heading out the door.

As Grayson slipped into the driver’s seat of Josh’s car, she bit her lip. This all, in her mind, seemed a bit too perfect: the way he was acting the night before, waking up tangled together, showering, and him making her breakfast. As much as she liked it, it was completely against how their usual relationship worked. She pushed a hand through her hair, forcing herself not to think about it.

When she returned to Josh’s twenty minutes later, she entered his apartment, smiling at the smell of food. She paused in the kitchen to set his keys back on the counter before ducking into his bedroom to change into clean underwear, a pair of shorts, and a t-shirt. She padded, barefoot, back into the kitchen and pulled herself up onto the surface of the countertop.

“What’s for breakfast?” she asked, her feet dangling as she smiled at him.

“Your favorite,” he said smiling smugly as he handed her a plate, stacked with three pancakes and plenty of strawberries. A wide smile carved its way onto her face and she beamed at him.

“How did you remember that?” she asked, slipping off the counter.

“I remember more than you think I do,” he said with a wink.

She grinned and grabbed a fork before sitting down at the kitchen table. Josh joined her a few seconds later with a plate of his own, smiling across the table at her. She curled a foot under her, digging into her breakfast. She glanced up at him to find that he was watching her closely, a faint smile on his lips.

The Josh she was used to never cuddled after sex, he fell asleep. He wouldn’t have left a party without taking a single sip of alcohol. He would never shower with her, without the intent of fucking her in the shower, and he would certainly never make her breakfast. Hell, when had she even ever mentioned that her favorite breakfast was pancakes with fresh strawberries?

She set her fork down, pursing her lips. “Okay, spill. What’s up with all of this?” she asked, running a hand through her hair self-consciously. She was long since tired of his charade and was tired of no knowing what was going on.

“What do you mean?” he asked, his mouth full.

Grayson sighed, her elbow finding the table as she rested her forehead against her palm. She bit her lip, trying to piece together what she wanted to say. “You’re not being you,” she said after thinking about it for a moment. He gave her a blank look and she continued. “You would have never fucking showered with me. You wouldn’t have made me breakfast, or let me take your car, or hold me that tightly in your sleep. I just don’t understand, Josh.” She realized she was talking with her hands as she spoke to him, which she always did when she was frustrated. She was pointing at him, clenching her fists, and pushing her hair back.

After she spoke, he stared at her for a moment, trying to decide how to react. Eventually, he sighed quietly, licking his lips. “I—I didn’t sleep with anyone while I was on tour,” he said finally, his brows knitting together.

“Congratulations?” she said, unsure of why he was telling her that.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to—it’s that I couldn’t,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. Before she could make a snarky comment about him having an impotence problem, he continued. “Every time I’d be making out with a girl, I’d look down at her, and have this moment where I was like, ‘This isn’t Grayson, what am I doing?’ and I’d have to stop.”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she struggled to absorb what he’d told her. “I’m not sure how to react to that, or even what that means. I didn’t know we were…exclusive in any way,” she paused, feeling herself become flustered. “I mean, I slept with five guys while you were gone—even Godsey.”

He shrugged, biting his lip. “I guess what I meant is that I don’t want to be with anybody else—I want to be with you.”

“Josh, you were already with me last night—twice,” Grayson reminded him, frowning a bit. She was confused. Where the fuck was he going with this?

“Dammit, Gray, not in a sexual way!” he said rather harshly, his voice rising. She flinched softly, frowning down at her nearly forgotten pancakes. Her cheeks flushed and she let her hair fall over her shoulders to hide the blush.

Neither of them spoke for a moment, the room quiet enough that she could hear his bathroom faucet dripping. She stared down at her lap, slowly looking up to gauge his expression. He looked just as uncomfortable as she felt, his cheeks flushed as well. His brow was creased and both of them had forgotten about their food.

“Should I, uhm,” she started, her voice squeaking a bit, “Should I just go?” She was looking up at him then and she’d chewed a spot on the inside of her cheek raw.

It took him a moment to respond. He shook his head slowly. “No, of course not; I want you here,” he said, looking up at her with a determined look on his face. She nodded, the corner of her mouth upturning ever so slightly. “I’m sorry for snapping. I just really don’t know what to say right now.”

“About what, Josh?”

“About us, Gray,” he said, sighing quietly.

“You know I’m slow to pick up on things like this. Explain it to me, please?” she asked, trying not to sounds as hesitant as she felt. Her voice quivered a bit and he licked his lips.

“Shit, you know I’m bad at this, but the reason I couldn’t sleep with the other girls is because I have feelings for you,” Josh said after a pause, studying her face to pick up hints of how she would react.

Grayson’s brow twitched once as she processed his sentence. She bit her bottom lip, his words echoing in her mind. The more she thought about it, the more confused it made her. “Why?” she finally managed to spit out.

He blushed, smiling at her bluntness. “I kind of hoped it be obvious,” he said, his grin widening the slightest. “Do I really have to explain why I have feelings for you?”

“Yes, because I don’t believe you,” she said. Okay, so maybe she’d lied a bit there. She actually just wanted to hear him say it.

He rolled his eyes, still smiling. His eyes moved across her features before making eye contact with her. “Well, for one you’re incredibly gorgeous, smart, sarcastic, and infuriating. Also, you’re the only person outside of the band and my family that’s been there for me for as long as you have. You’re my constant, Gray,” he explained, shrugging simply.

“Josh, that’s really…touching and everything, but we’re not relationship people, remember?” she said, launching into panic mode. She was toying with her hair, trying not to start hyperventilating, which she’d done in this type of situation before.

“I know, I know, but that was so long ago. And honestly, you can’t say that we don’t have chemistry,” he said with a shrug, rubbing the back of his neck.

Out of nowhere, Grayson burst out laughing, covering her mouth to stifle the sound. Josh looked extremely confused and when her laughter subsided, she explained. “I get what you’re saying, but this entire conversation seems like it’s coming out of a PG-13 rated teen comedy.”

He paused, thinking back over the conversation before chuckling softly to himself. “You’re right, but honestly, this is really how I am feeling. I wasn’t even planning on telling you this, really.”

“I, uhm—I’m glad you did, Josh. Really. I just don’t know if I’m ready to be in an actual relationship. Not really with you, but anyone. I’ve been single for so long, and I love spending time with you—you’re one of my best friends—but do you really want to try it again? It ended so horribly last time, I mean, you had get stitches because of me.”

“Yeah, I’m sure I do. Hell, I talked to John about it, almost constantly, and I was trying to talk myself out of admitting that I felt this way about you, but it didn’t work…obviously,” he told her, nodding.

“Have you told Em?”

“Why would I do that? You know she can’t keep a secret,” he said, laughing.

“You have a point,” Grayson acknowledged, smiling softly. “Can I not give you an answer about us right now? Can I think about it?”

“Of course you can,” he said, smiling back at her to her relief. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“When and why did you sleep with Godsey?” Josh asked, laughing once.

Grayson rolled her eyes, laughing along with him. “About three weeks ago. He just showed up at my apartment on night with a bottle of Jaeger and made himself at home. Hell, we weren’t even drunk, if just kind of happened.”

“That’s disgusting, Gray,” he told her, teasing.

“Eh.” She shrugged, cracking a smile. “It was decent.”

Josh smiled, looking her over. She blushed, feeling self-conscious as his eyes lingered at her lips. “I really missed you, Grayson,” he said after a moment. Her cheeks flushed deeper and she bit her bottom lip.

“So you’ve said,” she said, raising her eyebrows quickly. Josh chuckled softly, still watching her.

“Where does this leave us?”

She pressed her lips together, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know. I really don’t.” She wished she knew what to do. She wished she felt comfortable enough to surrender and embrace that she had such feelings for him.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized she actually did, in fact, have feelings for him. Not entirely strong feelings, but feelings nonetheless. She loved his company and trusted him more than she did most others. He stirred feelings inside her that she never felt when he wasn’t around.

Still, she was hesitant. They were similar, in the way that neither of them was really made for relationships. Her last official relationship had been a year before, and had barely lasted six weeks. As much as she cared for him, the memories of their initial break up, two years ago, still played in her mind. Grayson could remember the exact day, nearly the exact time, and even what they’d been wearing when their fighting escalated to screams. As well as she remembered the details, she could never remember what they’d even been fighting about.

It has been May 15th, 2009, and scorching hot. Her bangs were plastered to her forehead with sweat built up from arguing in Josh’s kitchen. His air conditioning had gone out two days earlier. She was in denim shorts and a black tank top that was damp with perspiration. They’d been irritated with each other all day, and it escalated to yelling before she stormed out. He followed her out the door, standing on the stoop, and yelled something after her, “Yeah, because you’re the greatest thing that ever fucking happened to me!” That had really set her off and she stopped on the gravel path to the parking lot. She’d bent and picked up a rather large, sharp piece of stone. She spun and threw it at him as hard as she could, not expecting to make contact. She’d expected wrong and the rock made contact with his forehead, right about his eyebrow.

He’d cursed loudly and she froze when she was the blood seeping from the cut. She’d rushed back to him and he pushed her away before spending the next three minutes arguing about whether he should go to the hospital or not. Finally, he gave in and begrudgingly let her drive him to the hospital. Sitting in the ER after he received three stitches, they decided to actually call it quits. It didn’t take long after that, only two months, for them to lapse into their current routine.

Thinking back, she felt like such an idiot. Part of her had loved him, though she never dared to admit it. She still felt those feelings and she looked at him, sighing.

“What makes this time different?” she asked, breaking the silence they’d fallen into.

Josh shrugged. “I don’t know, Gray—maybe the fact that we know each other so well now. Before, we were nearly kids still, and I just want to have something to come home to,” he said, sighing quietly.

She licked her lips, nodding once. “If it ends with either of us getting stitches this time, then I think that’s the ultimate sign that we’re not meant to be,” she joked weakly.

A smile broke out across his features. “We’ll take it slow.”

“As slowly as we know how to go,” she commented, drumming her fingertips against the table.

He nodded. “Do you, uhm, want to go to dinner tonight?” he asked awkwardly, color rushing to his cheeks.

Grayson laughed once. “Are you serious?” she questioned, pressing a hand against her mouth. He only nodded, and she blushed as well. She cleared her throat. “Well, you ought to know that I don’t fuck on the first date.” She tilted her chin up and tried to keep from smiling.

“We’ll see about that,” he said with a smirk. She merely shrugged.

He stood from his chair and took the few steps to her. He took her hand and pulled her out of her seat. Turning, he lifted her to sit on the counter to her right. He stood between her parted legs, placing his hands on her thighs. She looked down at him, her hair falling over her left shoulder.

“Hi there,” she said, smiling. She bit her bottom lip, placing her hands on his shoulders. His hands slid up her thighs, as she dragged a finger down the line of his jaw.

“Hey,” Josh responded, brushing his lips over hers effortlessly. She pressed her lips to his more firmly, smiling. “Do you want to spend the day with me?”

“You’re going to get sick of me,” she warned, her hands sliding down to press against his chest.

“Nah,” he said and shrugged, knowing that that wouldn’t happen.

Grayson smiled softly at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him to her. He sighed, his arms encircling her waist as he pressed his face into her shoulder, inhaling deeply. In all the time he spent touring, he never forgot how she smelled. It was sultry, yet sweet and enticing at the same time. Kissing the skin of her neck softly, he heard her sigh. He pulled away, raising his eyebrows at her.

“It’s still too early,” she said, glancing towards the clock. It was barely after ten, and she yawned.

Josh chuckled softly. “Should we go back to bed?”

“We can,” she said indifferently, “but my clothes are staying on.”

He grinned in a way, accepting the challenge. Before lifting her off the counter, he kissed her again. She smiled against his lips, warmth filling her stomach. On her feet again, she leaned into him, her hands balling into fists as she gripped the fabric of his shirt.

“Hey Josh?” she said, pressing her forehead into the skin of his neck.

“Hmm?”

“You know we aren’t going to work, right?” Grayson tried to confirm, looking up at him. He was smiling down at her and she felt her knees go a tad weak.

His smile turned into a bit of a grin and he kissed her forehead quickly. “We’ll see,” he said knowingly, before lacing his fingers through hers and pulling her towards his bedroom.