You Are the Only Exception
No Love Lost, No Love Found
I woke up in a haze of fuzzy memories and pain. The pain made everything come back to me and I instantly looked around and I noticed that I was in Andy’s arms. I almost screamed and scrambled out and away.
“Holy shit,” I said to myself. Andy groaned and stretched a little, waking up.
“Holy shit,” I repeated. That did not happen last night. Why did I let it happen last night? All my values about relationships were slowly falling down. I should have fucking stopped him.
Though a little part of me thought “well waking up in his arms was a really good feeling.” No no no no no. This was not supposed to happen, that was not supposed to happen, ever. Fuck. An arm, stretched out with clothes in hand, pulled me out of my thoughts. If you could even call them that.
“We need to get back.” Andy said. He was glowing with joy. I braced myself to tell him.
“Andy… About last night…” I started to say. How the fuck was I supposed to tell him that it didn’t mean anything when he was so happy about it? “It…” I sighed; better now than never. “Last night should have never happened.”
Andy looked crushed for a split second and I took the opportunity to grab my clothes and put them on. The hurt look went away and was replaced with the happiness again.
“It’s fine.” That was all he spoke. He said it happily but you could hear he hated to say it.
Once I was dressed I spun around and gave him a hug. I may not believe in love but it doesn’t mean I can’t give out hugs.
Andy and I walked back to his house in that comfortable silence that we shared. The only time we talked was when he told me that if his parents were up to just say that we went for a walk.
Just as Andy suspected, when we got back his parents were awake. I had to quickly fix my hair and shirt to make it look like we really had just gone for a walk.
“Good morning.” Andy’s dad said as we walked through the door.
“Good morning.” I said happily. “I think that I am going to go jump in the shower if I have the time.”
Andy’s dad nodded and I ran up the stairs. I needed to take a quick but cleansing shower to get all the sex off. I planned on going to school and having Andy drop me off at the hospital to visit my mom for the day. I also needed to talk to Matt today so I guess he should come along.
As soon as I was out of the shower I changed into my clothes for the day, grabbed my backpack, stuffed my cigarettes in the pocket, and ran downstairs. Once breakfast was eaten Andy and I said good bye to his parents and we left for school.
“Maybe we shouldn’t tell people what happened in the tree house.” I said. Andy nodded and I knew he wanted to tell Matt ad Mixi so badly. But if they knew Mixi would never let me live it down and Matt would just glare like he always does nowadays. I sighed and went back to staring out the window.
The day went by quickly and awkwardly. Mixi could tell that we were keeping something from her but Andy and I just stayed quiet. Before we were about to leave to go to the hospital I pulled Matt aside.
“Hey, could you follow Andy and me to the hospital?” I asked him. “Andy is just going to drop me off and we need to talk.”
“Uh sure.” He replied. I nodded and got in Andy’s car.
“Matt is going to follow us to the hospital.” I stated. “I need to talk to him alone.”
“Okay.” Andy said.
When we got there the nurse took me to my mother’s room and said that there hadn’t been any changes. Andy hugged me good bye and then he left, leaving Matt and I alone.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” He asked me.
“I want to talk to you about what’s been going on lately.” I replied.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“The way things have been between us and shit. There is a huge strain in our friendship right now. Things always seem awkward and we need to fix-“
I was cut off by his lips on mine. It took me a moment to register that he was in fact kissing me, or attempting to. I instantly pushed him off me.
“What the fuck, Matt?” I shouted.
“I still like you, a lot.” Matt whispered.
“Well, you shouldn’t. You have Mixi and we will just never work out.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t believe in that shit. You of all people should know that.” I snapped.
“Well what if I want to change that?” Matt questioned.
“Uhm, hello, what about Mixi?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Dumbass,” I mumbled. “Okay, look I want things to go back the way they used to. I’m tired of the awkwardness and arguments. I miss the way things used to be.” Matt sighed.
“If that’s what you want, than fine. Tell me one thing though.” He said.
“What?” I questioned.
“Is there anything going on with you and Andy?”
“No. He knows my beliefs.”
“Okay.”
“Well, I have to get some homework done and visiting hours ends at five. Do you want to stay and just talk and stuff for a little bit?”
“Sure.” Matt said smiling.
“Holy shit,” I said to myself. Andy groaned and stretched a little, waking up.
“Holy shit,” I repeated. That did not happen last night. Why did I let it happen last night? All my values about relationships were slowly falling down. I should have fucking stopped him.
Though a little part of me thought “well waking up in his arms was a really good feeling.” No no no no no. This was not supposed to happen, that was not supposed to happen, ever. Fuck. An arm, stretched out with clothes in hand, pulled me out of my thoughts. If you could even call them that.
“We need to get back.” Andy said. He was glowing with joy. I braced myself to tell him.
“Andy… About last night…” I started to say. How the fuck was I supposed to tell him that it didn’t mean anything when he was so happy about it? “It…” I sighed; better now than never. “Last night should have never happened.”
Andy looked crushed for a split second and I took the opportunity to grab my clothes and put them on. The hurt look went away and was replaced with the happiness again.
“It’s fine.” That was all he spoke. He said it happily but you could hear he hated to say it.
Once I was dressed I spun around and gave him a hug. I may not believe in love but it doesn’t mean I can’t give out hugs.
Andy and I walked back to his house in that comfortable silence that we shared. The only time we talked was when he told me that if his parents were up to just say that we went for a walk.
Just as Andy suspected, when we got back his parents were awake. I had to quickly fix my hair and shirt to make it look like we really had just gone for a walk.
“Good morning.” Andy’s dad said as we walked through the door.
“Good morning.” I said happily. “I think that I am going to go jump in the shower if I have the time.”
Andy’s dad nodded and I ran up the stairs. I needed to take a quick but cleansing shower to get all the sex off. I planned on going to school and having Andy drop me off at the hospital to visit my mom for the day. I also needed to talk to Matt today so I guess he should come along.
As soon as I was out of the shower I changed into my clothes for the day, grabbed my backpack, stuffed my cigarettes in the pocket, and ran downstairs. Once breakfast was eaten Andy and I said good bye to his parents and we left for school.
“Maybe we shouldn’t tell people what happened in the tree house.” I said. Andy nodded and I knew he wanted to tell Matt ad Mixi so badly. But if they knew Mixi would never let me live it down and Matt would just glare like he always does nowadays. I sighed and went back to staring out the window.
The day went by quickly and awkwardly. Mixi could tell that we were keeping something from her but Andy and I just stayed quiet. Before we were about to leave to go to the hospital I pulled Matt aside.
“Hey, could you follow Andy and me to the hospital?” I asked him. “Andy is just going to drop me off and we need to talk.”
“Uh sure.” He replied. I nodded and got in Andy’s car.
“Matt is going to follow us to the hospital.” I stated. “I need to talk to him alone.”
“Okay.” Andy said.
When we got there the nurse took me to my mother’s room and said that there hadn’t been any changes. Andy hugged me good bye and then he left, leaving Matt and I alone.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” He asked me.
“I want to talk to you about what’s been going on lately.” I replied.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“The way things have been between us and shit. There is a huge strain in our friendship right now. Things always seem awkward and we need to fix-“
I was cut off by his lips on mine. It took me a moment to register that he was in fact kissing me, or attempting to. I instantly pushed him off me.
“What the fuck, Matt?” I shouted.
“I still like you, a lot.” Matt whispered.
“Well, you shouldn’t. You have Mixi and we will just never work out.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t believe in that shit. You of all people should know that.” I snapped.
“Well what if I want to change that?” Matt questioned.
“Uhm, hello, what about Mixi?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Dumbass,” I mumbled. “Okay, look I want things to go back the way they used to. I’m tired of the awkwardness and arguments. I miss the way things used to be.” Matt sighed.
“If that’s what you want, than fine. Tell me one thing though.” He said.
“What?” I questioned.
“Is there anything going on with you and Andy?”
“No. He knows my beliefs.”
“Okay.”
“Well, I have to get some homework done and visiting hours ends at five. Do you want to stay and just talk and stuff for a little bit?”
“Sure.” Matt said smiling.