The Middle

I woke up the next morning with a sigh of relief. I knew this wasn’t the bed I normally slept in, but I at least knew where I was. I looked over to where Pat had laid the next before, and he was gone. I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. No Pat. A part of me began to worry until a note on the counter came into view with my name on it.

Claire,

I didn’t want to wake you, but I went to practice. After that, I’m taking some of the guys to visit Ryan. I figured you could use a day off to relax. Call me when you get up.

Pat.

P.S. I forgot to tell you that the gala, aka “our date” is in 2 days. Hope that doesn’t make you reconsider.

I smiled at the note. I wondered what he meant by “see you later” but I figured he’d answer when I phoned him. Then I looked at the “P.S.” again and my eyes went wide. I have to find something to wear!!! I couldn’t dial Pat’s number fast enough.

“Hey, did you sleep well?” I sighed.

“Yes, I slept fine until I woke up and saw this note. Two days, Pat?!?” I was beginning to panic.

“Is there a problem?” I wanted to scream at him.

“Pat, I might be a woman, but that doesn’t mean that I have things to wear to a gala just lying around. I need to go out and buy something to wear. I don’t have time. I have to bring Ryan his….”

“You don’t need to do anything today. If you need to go buy something, then go.”

“Pat, I need to see Ryan today.” There was something I wasn’t telling him, but I hoped he couldn’t sense it.

“Claire, I know you’re used to seeing him everyday, but you can afford to take one day off.”

“It’s not a job, Pat. I enjoy spending time with him, you know that.”

I could hear him sigh through the phone. I didn’t want to argue with him, but today was the anniversary of my parent’s death and I always spent that day with Ryan.

“Pat, today is an important day for me and Ryan. Our parents died 6 years ago today. He doesn’t remember much about them, so I always spent this day with him and told him stories. I don’t want to argue you though, or take you away from him. Text me when you and the boys are getting ready to leave.”

“Oh my god, Claire. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. We can leave now if you want.”

I could hear Ryan scream “NO!” in the background. I knew he loved spending time with Patrick, but I wanted to have today with him. I heard some shuffling and then another voice came to the phone.

“Claire, please let them stay. I know what today is. I marked it on my calendar, but I like spending time with Patrick and the guys. Please, Claire-bear, have today for yourself.”

It still shocked me at times how smart Ryan could be. I decided to obey his wishes. I didn’t want him to be upset.

“Okay, buddy. They can stay. I might pop in, but I won’t make them leave. Can you give the phone back to Pat, please?”

I heard more shuffling for a few seconds, then I heard Pat greet me again.

“I’m not going to come by the hospital just yet, I may later though. I’m just going to relax. Before I let you go, what did you mean, when you wrote ‘see you later’?”

I heard him chuckle on other end.

“You clearly don’t remember. I told you that Nat said you can’t sleep here anymore. They took your bed out. I guess one of the nurses doesn’t like you or something. So you’re going to be staying with me.”

I gulped. I didn’t know how to feel about that. I mean, Pat and I were going on.. well something like a date in two days and I’ve only spent two nights at his house and both of those I slept in his bed with him. What if he gets tired of me being around? What if he gets annoyed with me? Where the hell am I going to sleep? I thought to myself. It wasn’t until I heard my name being called a few times that I remembered that Pat was still on the phone.

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

“You can sleep in the guest room, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

My eyes went wide as I prayed to the Gods that my little brother did not just hear that.

“Please tell me you stepped outside of Ryan’s room. I do not want him getting any ideas.”

“Yes, I’m standing in the hallway. I know what you’re saying. It may be awkward, us living together, but honestly, I think we can make it work. I’ll clean the guest room when I get home today. You just relax. Maybe if you need to, go out and buy something to wear to the gala.”

My mind went back to the gala. I had almost forgot about it. I didn’t have anything to wear, nor did I have a lot of money to go buy something to wear.

“Yea, maybe I’ll go do that. I’ll see you later Pat.”

I didn’t give him a chance to say goodbye before I hung up. My mind was now running all over the place. I didn’t know what to think or what to feel. This day, ever since my parents died, has been a day of remembering, and now I’m supposed to treat myself?! It was new to me, and I didn’t know what to do.

I finally decided I would at least get out of the house. I grabbed the keys that Pat left by the note, hoping they were for the condo and off I went. I walked through the streets of Chicago and I didn’t really think as to where I was going.

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Pat POV

I sat in Ryan’s room with Tazer, Seabs, Carbomb and Ryan. I couldn’t help but think of Claire. I didn’t know it was the anniversary of her parents’ death. I felt so bad for her. I didn’t want to take away from her time with Ryan, but I wanted her to have some time to herself. I knew that her life was so busy and she was so wrapped up in Ryan that she didn’t take any time to do the stuff that she, a 22-year-old woman, should be doing. She should be able to go out shopping and go out with her friends and stuff. She didn’t though, she invested all of her time outside of work with Ryan. I was staring off into space when finally a voice brought me back to reality.

“Hey Pat, what you thinking about?” I looked over at Ryan and he had a sympathetic look on his face. I think he knew what I was thinking about. “It’s okay, Pat. I know you’re thinking about Claire. She’ll be okay. She’s just going to sit around your apartment and watch tv all day. She won’t know what else to do.” He laughed, which I nervously chuckled back.

“Well, I hope she doesn’t reconsider my offer.” Ryan cocked his head at me and my three teammates looked at me with curiosity. “I asked her to be my date for the gala.”

Ryan beamed with joy. “Did she say yes?! Please tell me she did.”

I smiled at the little boy, happy that he approved of me asking his sister out on a proper date. I nodded. Ryan’s smiled got bigger, if that was even possible.

“Hey Kaner, do you know what she’s wearing yet?”

I looked up at Tazer and rolled my eyes. “She said she would look for something today.”

He nodded and we all went back to playing video games. I was still worried about Claire. I hoped she would be okay with spending the day alone.

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Claire POV

I found myself in a place I hadn’t come to in a couple of years.

“I’m sorry for not visiting sooner. Ryan and I are doing okay. He’s getting attached to a hockey player and I’m a little worried, but you know me, it’s probably just me over-analyzing. He seems different than the other ones. He’s really interested in Ryan. He’s with him now, along with some of his teammates. God, I miss you guys.” The tears began to flow freely down my face. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. When Ryan leaves me, I’ll be alone. I don’t want to me alone. You know what I get like. I don’t know if I can do it. Pat, he’s… he’s there for me, but is that enough? I don’t know. I’m just so confused with where my life is going right now. Ryan is my life and with him gone, I don’t know if I’ll be able to find myself again. I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I love my life. I love the time I get to spend with Ryan, and the moments we share. On the other hand, I wish there was just a little bit more. Is that too selfish? I don’t know. That’s where I am. I…. I just don’t know.”

I brushed off some of the fallen leaves and dirt that covered up my mother’s name on the tombstone. I couldn’t even feel the tears coming out, but I knew they were there. I looked up at the sky, for a sign, anything.

“I love you both, and I’ll see you again someday.”

I kissed two of my fingers and pressed them to each tombstone. I decided now was time to walk back to Pat’s considering I didn’t know what time it was and I was beginning to feel hungry.

I left the cemetery and looked out onto the street. I then realized that it was only on instinct that I ended up here, but I didn’t exactly know how to get back to Pat’s. I pulled out my cell phone and phoned the only person I could think of.

“Claire? Is everything alright?”

I had to laugh at his reaction to me phoning him.

“Yes, Pat. Everything’s alright. I was just wondering if you could do me a favour.”

“Yeah, sure. What do you need?”

I sighed, debating on whether I should take him away from Ryan or not. Then I noticed that I was on the same street as Pat’s building.

“Nevermind. I thought that I was lost, but I remember where I am.”

He laughed.

“Silly girl. You decided to leave the condo then, huh?”

“Yeah, I had somewhere to go to. I’ll see you later, okay?”

I hung up on him again. I didn’t mean to keep doing it to him, but it was habit. I was used to having the last word in phonecalls.

I made it back to Pat’s condo, and thankfully the keys work. I sat on the couch and pondered as to what the hell I was going to wear to this gala before I made my way over to the hospital.