The Middle

True to his word, Patrick did show up to visit Ryan the next day. He was playing video games with Ryan. I sat on the chair on the left side of the bed. Both of them got really into the game. I had to admit, I never thought that Patrick would show up, but I’m glad he did. He put a huge smile on Ryan’s face just by walking in the door.

“Hey, Claire?”

I looked up from my book to see Ryan’s smiling face gawking at me.

“Yea, buddy.”

“Is it close to dinner time? I’m getting hungry.”

I looked up at the clock. Sure enough, it was actually 10 minutes after dinner was supposed to be served. I got off the chair and was on my way out of the room.

“You know, your dinner should’ve been here already. I’ll go check on it.”

“No need to do that. I ordered pizza. It should be here any minute. Don’t worry, I checked with the nurses first.”

I turned around and raised an eyebrow at Patrick. I wanted to come back with a smart-ass comment, but when I saw the big grin on my little brother’s face, I bit my tongue.

“Oh, okay. Sorry, we’re just used to the routine around here.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude on it. I just thought that pizza went good with video games. I didn’t know what time dinner was here, so I just guessed and said for it to be for 6. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

My face fell. I didn’t mean to ruin his surprise. Then again, I never expected him to be here in te first place.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Next time, give me a heads up and I’ll keep it a secret.”

Patrick winked at me and went back to the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 ½ hours later

After Patrick left, Ryan was exhausted. But it made sense; playing video games for the majority of the day then only eating pizza the entire day can do that. I tucked Ryan in, and then sat back down in the chair I was in and continued reading my textbook for my Grammar class.

I could feel my eyes closing on me, when my phone vibrated.

Hey. I just wanted to say sorry again about screwing up the routine. But thanks for letting me spend time with Ryan today.

I smirked.

Hey, it’s okay. I just worry about him a lot easier now. But thanks again for stopping by.

I was on my way to go lay down in the empty bed that was on the opposite side of Ryan’s room. Nat pulled some strings to not give Ryan a roommate, so I could sleep in the room with him if I stay too late. *Vibrate* I looked down at my phone. Patrick

it was no prob. Can I come by again? I had a lot of fun.

I didn’t know what to write back. I loved the smile that appeared of Ryan’s face every time Pat walked in the room. At the same time, I didn’t want Ryan to get too attached to him, and then Pat just stops coming around.

Can we talk about a few things first? I’m working at the UC tomorrow until 2. Can we meet up after I’m done to talk?

Sure. Sorry, if I’m crossing boundaries. I know you and Ryan barely know me.

No, it’s okay. I just want to go over a few things with you before you come visit again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Next day

I had finished work and was waiting for Patrick. I texted him and told him to meet me just outside the locker room. I stood there for about five minutes before Patrick came out. He walked over to me.

“Hey, so where did you want to go?” I just looked at him. I didn’t know why, but seeing him in a suit just made him so attractive. Then I remembered why I was here, and clearly came back to my senses.

“Uh.. it doesn’t matter to me. I have to head back to the hospital soon. It’s spaghetti day and Ryan wants me there.”

Patrick smiled at me. “Well, I guess that cuts out us going to dinner then, huh?”

I nodded. “Yes, it does. I’m only here to get a few things off my chest that worry me about Ryan’s relationship with you.”

“Okay. Well, why don’t we just go to my place, then? It’s close to the hospital. I can drive you there after our chat.”

I shook my head. “You don’t need to drive me. I brought my car. I’ll follow you to your place then go to the hospital myself when we’re finished.”

Patrick nodded and we drove over to his place. He was going home to have his pre-game nap anyway. I noticed he waited for me by the back door. I walked up to him and followed him to the elevator.

“Look, Claire. I just wanted to say again that I’m sorry. I don’t want to push boundaries or anything. I just enjoy spending time with Ryan. He’s a good kid.”

I looked at Patrick and saw that his eyes were sincere. I didn’t want to judge him automatically and think that he was only visiting Ryan because he felt sorry for him. If I found out that that was his prerogative, he would be dead. I didn’t like when people took advantage of my brother’s illness. I’ve had boyfriends that would visit Ryan just to make me think that they were sympathetic. Later, I would hear from mutual friends that they just used it as a way of getting into my pants. That will not happen again, especially since I’ve sworn off guys for the time being. Ryan was my number one priority right now.

“I appreciate that, Patrick, but you don’t need to keep saying it. I believe you.”

He smiled. “You can call me Pat, you know. Everyone else does.”

We reached his condo, and he led me to sit on the couch. He went into the kitchen for a couple minutes. I looked around the living room. I noticed all the pictures of his family. It truly showed how much he appreciated them. A year ago, I would think that he redecorated this room the night before because he planned on bringing me home. I’ve grown up and realized to not judge books before reading them.

“So, what did you want to tell me?”

I jumped, not knowing that Pat came back into the room. He was standing right behind me with two bottles of water and two muffins. He came around and sat beside me on the couch, handing me one of each.

“Well, I don’t want to sound like a bitch, but I need to ask you something. How often do you plan on visiting Ryan?”

He gave me a look of confusion. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting this at all.

“What do you mean? Like how many times in a month am I going to be there? I don’t know. I’m a busy guy.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to sound rude, but I wanted to get my point across.

“I just mean that if you’re not going to make a commitment to visiting Ryan, don’t go to the hospital. He gets attached to people really quickly and I’d hate to see his heart break over this. I know you’re busy and all, but that won’t matter to him. If he knows the teams in Chicago for a game, a part of him will hope you’ll come by the hospital to see him.”

Pat looked at me with a serious look of concern.

“Well, I know you hate me saying it, but I am sorry for stepping over that boundary. I don’t want you to have to deal with his broken heart if I’m not around. How about this? I’ll call him when I’m in town and if I have time, I’ll pop in for a visit. I just really want to get to know him. For someone who’s going through what he’s going through, he just seems so optimistic and I envy that. He seems like such a happy kid.”

“Well, when you’re dying and you know it, you get joy out of the smaller things in life. That’s the one thing I admire about Ryan. I worry about getting to work on time or coming home in time to watch my favourite shows and all he worries about is whether or not I’m okay with everything that’s going on. As long as I walk in his room with a smile on my face, he’s happy.”

Pat smiled. “That’s good; that he looks after you like that. He may be the younger brother, but he’s certainly too wise for his age. Not to mention his knowledge of hockey. I’m amazed. I didn’t know that much at his age.”

I smiled. “Yea, he’s smart when it comes to hockey. He studies that game more than his school work. I laugh at him sometimes and tell him he better watch the answers he’s writing to math questions and make sure they’re not hockey stats.”

Pat laughed. I looked over his shoulder at the clock on the wall.

“Oh, I should get going. You need your pre-game nap and I need to get over the hospital. Thank you for understanding.”

Pat looked at me puzzled. “You never answered my question.”

“What question?”

“Is it okay if I phone Ryan from time to time, just to check in with him. I don’t want to promise him something like frequent visits and not follow through. I will, however, pop in from time to time.”

I smiled. “Yes, that’s fine. Just text me before you phone so I can tell you if he’s awake or not.”

Pat nodded and I left his condo.

I drove back to the hospital with a smile on my face. It was weird, but every time I walked into the hospital I was smiling. Maybe it was the fact that I knew Ryan was still here, or the fact that I knew he was enjoying his last moments with me. Regardless, I walked into his room.

Ryan had a big grin on his face.

“Is Patrick coming back today?”

oh no…