A Ship in Harbor is Safe

“I’m twenty-two years old, Jordan,” Athena’s voice is barely above a whisper. “I’ve gotta make my own mistakes sometime.”

He shrugs, strangely calm as he walks toward the bed. “It’s like you want to get your heart broken.”

“You act like this would be the first time.”

Jordan sits on the edge of the bed, with his back to Athena.

“Why’ve you got such a problem with the idea of Sid and I?” Athena turns, propping her head on her hand. She stares at Jordan’s wide back, watching his muscles contract through his shirt as he rubs his face.

Jordan stops rubbing his face, trying to keep his composure. “You’ve got this idea,” he shakes his head, looking down at his hands, “that Sid is this great guy.”

Athena lays her head down on one of the many pillows on the bed, waiting for Jordan to continue.

“And I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, but you could do better.”

She blinks, slowly reaching out and touching Jordan’s arm, “look at me.”

Jordan slowly looks over his shoulder.

Athena leans back onto her pillow, “Sidney’s been there for me these past few months… when nobody else has.”

“And that’s gonna change,” Jordan insists, turning his body to face Athena. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

“Jordan, you don’t know that.”

He shakes his head, looking away for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes.

“Jord—"

“Athena,” he cuts her off, looking back at her, “all of that is gonna change. I know that you think you know Sidney and he’s some great guy, worth putting up on this pedestal you've got him on. But you’ll be very disappointed when season starts and there’s no longer room for you in his life.”

The young woman says nothing as she slowly rolls onto her back, just to stare up at the ceiling.

Jordan sits in the same spot, staring at Athena, completely silent. He finally breaks the heavy silence, after what seems like ten minutes, “all I’m saying is that you deserve better.”

Pursing her lips, Athena shakes her head. “It’s been a while since anyone has treated me as good as Sidney treats me, Jordan. It’s been a long, long time. He’s the best I’m gonna get, Jordan, and he treats me really well.”

An unreadable look takes over Jordan’s features.

“Maybe,” Athena whispers, “if you actually took time to be around us, together, without trying to fight somebody, you’d be able to see that.”

Jordan turns his head to glare at Athena, but she continues speaking without even stopping to give him a chance to open his mouth.

"And the way he treats me… it’s more than I could ask for, Jordan." She speaks gently. "You saw what I had to go through, with my parents."

Jordan's eyebrows furrow and his lips form a straight line. He watches Athena pout slightly and pat the space on the bed next to her. He moves to fill the empty space, lying on his back next to his best friend.

"I'm not gonna go through what my parents did, Jord. I'm not gonna treat someone that badly and I'm not gonna start a life with someone who's gonna degrade me and abandon me. You know that... hell, I've said that since I was 15."

He nods.

“But you don’t seem to trust my judgment enough,” she whispers.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” his quiet voice nearly cracks, and he quickly clears his throat. “I just don’t trust him.”

Athena catches herself before she laughs in Jordan’s face, turning her face away to shake her head.

Jordan looks at her, “what?”

She scoffs, “you’ve never trusted anybody. You’ve never given anyone a chance.”

“You obviously don’t understand, Athen—“

The young woman quickly gets off the bed, shaking her head. “I guess that makes two of us, doesn’t it?!”

“What don’t I understand?”

Her jaw slacks, and she scoffs loudly, quickly shaking her head.

“Tell me,” he pulls his upper body off of the bed, shrugging his broad shoulders.

She leans onto the bed, glaring at him. “Don’t you want me to be happy, Jordan?”

“Yes, I do,” he nods, leaning toward her in the same manner.

Athena’s eyes narrow, “you obviously don’t, because if you did you’d let things happen the way they’re supposed to.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

She shakes her head, hitting the bed with her fists and screaming, “Jordan! God damn it, I’m twenty-two fucking years old. I’ve been hurt before, I’ll live, okay?”

“That doesn’t mean that I have to want to see you get hurt, Athena! That’s the last thing that I wanna see and I’m not just gonna sit back and watch while it happens.”

Athena’s jaw tightens, “I’ve been hurt before—“

“And don’t you think that if I could’ve stopped all of that shit from happening, that I would’ve?!” Jordan yells, cutting her off.

Athena shakes her head, pushing off of the bed. She turns her back to Jordan, entangling her hands in her own hair.

The entire house seems to fall silent after the shouting ceases.

Standing with her hands in her hair, Athena’s ears ring in the silence and she feels a heated stare on her back.

Jordan lounges on the bed, staring at Athena, waiting for her to turn around and face him again. Inwardly, he scolds himself, you know she never liked being yelled at.

Her hands slowly untangle from her blonde locks and she wipes her face, failing to hide a loud sniffle.

Wordlessly, Jordan climbs out of the bed and approaches Athena. He doesn’t even hesitate as he gently wraps his arms around Athena, pulling her in until her back fits against his stomach and chest like a puzzle piece.

Athena’s shoulders shake slightly, but she keeps her face covered. Stop crying. Seriously. You knew that Jordan couldn’t stop anything that happened, so why are you dwelling on it now? Her mind quickly comes to a halt as she intakes a deep breath. The air exits her mouth in a sob as her mind races again, Jordan couldn’t stop your mom cheating, he couldn’t stop your dad from fighting with her. He couldn’t stop either of their out lashes. He couldn’t stop her from leaving. He couldn’t stop grandma from dying. He can’t protect you.

The loud wail that escapes Athena’s lips catches Jordan off guard, and his first instinct is to let go of her. “Shit,” he quickly realizes that mistake, once again wrapping his arms around her shrunken frame before it hits the floor.

The pressure of Jordan’s arms around her torso is heavier this time and Athena slowly lets her hands fall to rest on his large forearms. Each breath that she takes comes and goes, soundly, through her mouth.

Jordan slowly lifts Athena’s body up and walks toward the bed. He pulls himself halfway onto the bed, slowly lowering a hysterical Athena down onto the soft mattress. He is forced to lie down as well, feeling Athena’s hands squeezing around his own fingers.

After a long period of time, Athena’s breathing calms down and she releases her awkward vice grips on Jordan’s much larger hands. He slowly takes them back, rolling onto his back to massage feeling back into his fingers, individually.

“This isn’t fair,” Athena rasps quietly, not moving to face Jordan.

He stops massaging one of his fingers, raising an eyebrow, “what’s not fair?”

“Everything.”

Jordan says nothing, simply letting his sore hands rest on his stomach. He watches closely as Athena slowly turns her head, moving no other part of her facedown body. He takes a moment to take in her appearance – strands of hair are stuck to her red, swollen face and her large, blue eyes are bloodshot. Her lips are swollen, and the same deep pink color as the blotches covering her pale skin. He slowly reaches out and peels the dried hair from her face.

Her lips purse, as her bloodshot eyes fill with tears once again.

“I hate seeing you cry,” Jordan whispers, shaking his head. He slowly runs his right thumb around her eyes where her tears were pulled down, sideways, by gravity and where the moisture stayed when she clenched her eyes shut.

Athena’s voice cracks as she stumbles over her words, “I-I j-just-t wan-nted y-ou,” she hiccups, “t-to prot-tect m-me.”