Forever

"Casey, I think you've had enough to drink..."

Casey looked drunkenly at his sister and shook his head. "Nah. I'm just getting started!"

Kate rolled her eyes at him and smirked. "Okay, whatever you say..."

He stumbled off in another direction, making his sister chuckle. She sighed and looked around. The place was as decorated with tinsel and lights as it could be. Kate smiled at the happiness the house seemed to give off. Mari was about as crazy as her when it came to decorating for Christmas.

Speaking of, Thomas' wife, Mari, appeared and offered her a glass of champagne to which Kate shook her head. "No, thanks."

The other woman looked her up and down for a moment before she beamed. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Kate's mouth opened as she tried to look appalled. "Mari! I would never--That is a broad statement to make!" When Mari just continued to look her at skeptically, she turned away. "Its not nice to stare. Stop looking at me."

Mari leaned in closer. "Don't lie to me."

"Okay, I am!" Kate squealed, facing her. "Just don't tell anybody. Especially Casey." She threw a glance at her brother. "We want to keep it a secret for a little while."

Mari nodded. "Understood. But I'm so excited for you!"

"Thank you! Its just...a little scary."

"Well, you and Roy have been dating for five years. And he now just got the balls to propose, so why not?"

Kate nodded and twisted the engagement ring on her finger. "You're right. I'm just worried on what Casey's gonna think."

"What Casey thinks, doesn't matter," Mari said. "Your life is with Roy. Casey is just your overprotective brother."

"Who's also been a prick for these last five years..."

"This is true, but he just cares about you."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Sure. He can just be suck a prick."

A pair of arms snaked around her waist and warm breath blew against her face. "Are you talking about me?" Roy asked.

"Yes," Mari answered with a smile. "You're a prick for not marrying her sooner. I almost thought you were going to let her get away."

"Never," Kate said, leaning against him. "I love him too much to leave him."

Mari smiled at the two of them. "You two are a match."

"Kate!" Casey shouted, charging towards them. Kate could see he was pissed; his teeth were gritted and he looked about ready to hit someone. "You're fucking pregnant, aren't you?" he seethed when he reached the three of them.

Kate drew back against Roy, alarmed that he'd found out. Even more alarming was that he was drunk and was beyond the word furious. She shouldn't be afraid of her own brother. This was her life and he shouldn't give a damn what she did with it. She shouldn't give a damn what he thought in the first place!

"Yes, Casey, I am. What are you going to do about it?" Kate hissed, glowering at him.

Casey turned his glare at Roy, who clutched tighter to Kate's arms. "You got her fucking knocked up!"

"We're getting married, Casey!" Kate intervened. "We've been together for over five years! Its not that big of a deal!"

"Bull shit it isn't a big deal! You're just his whore--"

Roy pulled Kate behind him, his expression almost nearing the anger of Casey's. "Back off."

"Make me," Casey growled, getting into the other man's face.

Kate grabbed Roy's arm and pulled, but it didn't hinder their glare down at all. "Roy, please. Let's just go."

By now, everyone was looking at them. Thomas and Oliver had made their way over, ready to intervene if they had to. The other two men continued to glare at each other until Roy stepped back and wrapped an arm around Kate's waist. She looked about ready to cry. Her own brother calling her a whore...She closed her eyes. He was drunk, but she didn't think he'd be so bitter.

"Thank you, Thomas, for inviting us. We'd better be going," Roy said lowly, keeping his eyes on Casey.

Thomas nodded. "Drive safe."

"I hate him!" Kate exclaimed, slamming the car door shut. "He is such an asshole!"

Roy slid into the driver's seat. "Yes, he is."

Kate shook her head. "I'd like to go back in there and kick him where it hurts," she grumbled, slouching in her seat as Roy pulled onto the street.

Roy took her hand in his. "Tomorrow we'll go do whatever you want," he said.

"What I want is to spend the day with you and no one else. Especially without Casey," she said with a smile.

"We can manage that."

Kate's smile broadened and she watched the world slip by her window. Roy didn't see the patch of ice. When the tires hit it, the car swerved dangerously one way, then the other as he tried to correct it. The tires locked and the car went skidding before hitting the edge of the street and flipping. The crash of metal crumpling was deafening. Their world twisted and spun around and around.

Then it stopped.

The car sat on its side, sitting in the lawn of a person's house. Hands still clinging to the steering wheel, Roy opened his eyes. His heart was slamming in his chest, his head was throbbing from smacking into something.

"Kate?" he asked hoarsely and then looked over at the passenger's seat. She wasn't there.

He noticed the windshield was shattered, a gaping, jagged hole on her side of it. Slowly, his eyes traveled out the windshield, afraid to see what he found. His stomach dropped.

"Kate!"

He got unbuckled, tried the door. It was stuck, caved in from rolling. He kicked his foot through the broken windshield and climbed out, too frantic to care if glass dug into his hands.

"Kate!"

She was laying on her side in the snow, several feet from the wreck. In the dim city lights, Roy could see the crimson splotch growing in the snow beside her. He fell to his knees, reached for her, then withdrew. He shouldn't move her.

Hope sparked in him when her eyes flickered open and looked up at him. "Roy..." Her voice was so quiet he could barely hear it.

"I'm here, Kate. Its okay." He took off his jacket and laid it over her shivering body and laid a hand on her arm.

Blood was running freely down her pale face and her body was wrongly angled.

"Hold me...please..." she whispered, the look in her eyes begging.

Roy was afraid to move her. What if he hurt her further? But the look in her eyes was so desperate, so afraid...He gently wrapped his arms around her and cradled her slight body, hunching over to keep her warm. He felt the blood soaking through his jacket and, at that moment, knew she wasn't going to last.

He swept the hair back from her face, unable to look away. Tears stung at his eyes. Kate placed a cold hand on his cheek and Roy closed his eyes.

Tears trickled from the corner of her eyes as she grimaced in pain. "The baby..."

"Don't worry," Roy said. "You both are going to be fine."

She smiled. "You were...always...a really bad liar."

He hugged her closer, unable to hide the tears.

"Roy..."

He looked down at her. "I love you," she breathed.

His eyes closed. He kissed her lips softly and leaned his forehead against her's. "I love you too."

It grew silent. Roy opened his eyes. Her own eyes were open, empty. She wasn't breathing.

"Kate, no. Don't leave me." Roy cupped her cheek. "Don't leave me, please."

But there was no answer. She was gone.

As snow fell, and sirens wailed in the distance, his voice cut through the air, filled with agony.

"Kate!"

x

Casey burst through the doors, Thomas and Mari right behind him. He spotted Roy, sitting in one of the chairs against the wall, his face buried in his hands.

"Where is she?" Casey demanded. Roy didn't answer; his shoulders just shook with silent weeping. "Where. Is. Sh--"

"Casey," Thomas warned.

"Tell me where my sister is!"

Mari sat down beside Roy and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. A cracked voice came in between his hands. "She's dead..."

Casey froze. "You're lying."

Mari nearly burst into tears and hugged him tighter. "Roy, I'm so sorry."

"You're lying!" Casey repeated, his voice betraying him.

Roy looked up at him, eyes blood shot. "What else do you want me to say?" he demanded. "You want to hear it? Fine! I killed her, Casey! I'm the one who was driving! I killed her! I killed Kate!"

"You bastard," Casey growled.

"You think he meant to hurt her?" Mari shouted.

"He didn't hurt her! He killed her!"

"But at least I loved her," Roy said evenly. "At least I didn't call her a whore the last time I got to see her."

"You shut up."

"Its the truth."

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Go ahead."

Roy was serious. There was no mockery. That made Casey stop. Roy was devastated. Kate was his soon to be wife and mother to his child. And he'd lost her.

Kate was Casey's sister. And he'd never supported her, never been able to understand how she could love Roy. Now, she was gone. And he'd never be able to apologize.

Without another word, Casey turned and walked quickly down the brightly lit hall. The cold air hit him and he fell to his knees. She was gone. Every bad word he'd called her, every time he'd done something else than to show her he loved her and supported her...He regretted all of it.

One Year Later...

The venue was packed and as the stage lights dimmed, it grew quiet. Roy stood in the center of the stage, with Kamelot one more time. Since Kate's death, he'd left, unable to stay in the company of her brother and all the memories.

Now, tonight, was for her. Roy and Casey had set aside their bitterness and agreed to put on a show for her.

"As you may know," Roy started, his voice echoing, "we lost someone very special to us last year. This concert--this night--is in honor of her memory. This song...is dedicated to her, and from now on, always will be."

Slowly, Roy stepped back into the shadows as Thomas began his guitar intro. Casey glanced at Roy as he brushed his sticks across the cymbals. Taking a deep breath, Roy prepared himself for what he was about to sing. It'd been Kate's favorite and, ironically, fit everything too well.

Casey pounded down on his drums, the tempo rising, and Roy made his way back onstage.

This is for you, Kate...

Roy took a deep breath and his angelic voice flooded the venue. "There's a pain within that I can't define. There's an empty space where your love used to shine. From the night we met, to the day you died, do you think I wish? Do you still believe I tried? All too soon we were divided and life had just begun."

The pain stabbed at his chest, the realization of what he was about to say was beyond truth. How many times had he stayed up, wishing more than anything she was with him again. Wishing he could bring her back...

"Will you revive from the chaos in my mind? Where we still are bound together? Will you be there, waiting by the gate's of dawn when I close my eyes forever?"

Casey took out all the fury on his drums, glaring at the back of Roy's head. The others put as much heart as the could, feeling their own sort of remorse. This song was harder to play when it truly meant something. No one could feel what their ex-singer felt.

"Save me. Reverse how I'm thinking of you. Every breath I take brings me closer...closer to forever, to you. I'm waiting for the day that I'm gone!"

x

The cold wind blew and Roy shrugged deeper into his coat, raising his shoulders to block the chill. The gravestone lay in the snow and he bent down to brush some of it away. An angel had been engraved along side the words:

Katherine Mae Grillo

December 1, 1977-December 24, 2010

All too soon we were divided, and life had just begun...

Roy rubbed his chin. "I'm so sorry, Kate..." A lump caught in his throat and he tried to swallow it. "Tonight was for you."

His fingertips brushed against the rough top of the stone. Nothing would ever be alright again. He only wished to know if Kate forgave him. Roy still blamed himself, just like Casey blamed him. There was no denying it.

But he knew this wouldn't be the way Kate wanted them all to feel. Christmas was her favorite time of the year, the time when she smiled the most and seemed to almost skip around with the joy of the season. Roy wished she was here now with him, enjoying the holidays like they had. Instead, he was there alone and she was above, watching over him.

Snow began to fall slowly and in the far off distance, Roy could hear carolers. Lights twinkled happily from houses and trees around the cemetery. It was beautiful time if he didn't remember what had happened on that day...why it was so painful....That's what she would want him to think.

Slowly, he straightened. He looked down at the scarlet roses in his hand and took in a shaky breath before laying them down in front of the stone.

"Merry Christmas, love."