Rockstar Lost

He froze as well as I did and suddenly, I felt compelled to kiss him. It might had been my semi-drunken state, but I I figured what the hell. We were already here anyways and I was closer than ever to his mouth.

I leaned forward and closed my eyes as I made contact with his lips, being conscience of his cracked lip. They were warm and soft, inviting me in. I was sure we probably had beer breath but I couldn't taste it because I was beyond the point of tasting anything but liquid. It wouldn't have mattered if he had just taken a shot of Jack or Bourbon, I wouldn't have registered it.

I felt him press back against mine gently and approved my request to explore his mouth with mine. He moved his hands up and down my back and I couldn't help but to pause. I missed this feeling of being touched, of being held and accepted. He hadn't noticed my moment of bliss so I started to pull up his shirt, making it easier to feel his smooth, inked skin against mine.

With his shirt halfway off, he stopped and slowly positioned me so that I was laying on my pillows with him on top. Instead of continuing to pull his shirt off like I had expected, he stood up and pulled the covers up to my chest.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused by his sudden actions.

"Riley, we can't do this. Trust me, it's not that I don't want to but we can't. I can't," he said looking at me apologetically.

"Why? Is it me or something I did?"

"No. Look, we barely know each other. I know you probably don't fall under the catagory of a tramp and I don't intend on ruining your reputation. I wouldn't feel right knowing that we didn't meet on better conditions, start dating, and then have sex. We met in an alley way, got drunk at a bar, and then started to have sex. Which do you think sounds better?"

I didn't have anything to say because I knew he was right. I was letting my selfish needs get in the way of helping this guy find himself. I wasn't concerned about my reputation because I didn't have very many friends that would bash me just becasue I slept with him. The closest and only ones were the friends that partied with me tonight.

"You're right. I'm not a whore and I'm sorry I came on to you. I think it might be the alcohol taking over," I said, crossing my arms and holding the blankets close to me. Why was it that I felt like I was taking advantage of him?

"I think so as well, although in a different circumstance, you coming onto me was pretty hot," he said grinning and setting down on the edge of my bed.

"Thanks," I said with a slight grin. "So does what you said earlier mean that you're worried about your reputation?"

He chuckled and replied "Trust me, I'm fairly sure my reputation isn't on line."

We set there for a bit until he went to stand up. "Wait, please don't go. Set up here beside me," I stated, not sure if this was the best time to approach the subject or not.

He gave me a sideways questioning look.

"I promise I won't bite," I said amused at his expression. "Besides, we both agreed to the hands off policy." It seemed to work this time because he walked to the other side and sat on top of the covers.

"So I was thinking about what you said earlier this evening and before you make up your mind, hear me out." My buzz must have been wearing off because I was talking more normal and I didn't feel as unbalanced as before. Everything was clear.

"I know you said you wanted to leave and find answers to your life but I don't think it's as easy as you seem to think. One reason you should stay is becasue you obviously don't have any money to support yourself. You don't have a bank card and even if you did, ATM's require a pin number. I doubt you would remember it. Two, where would you go? You said the police were out of the question for unknown reasons and it also highlights reason number one, money. I don't think living at a homeless shelter would do you any good or help you get closer to your cause.

"If you stayed here, I could help you because I have the means necesary to do so. At least if you're here, you wouldn't wake up in some alley in the middle of no where. I'm not trying to tell you what to do but I'm just pointing out simple facts about the situation."

Matt was quiet for a bit but then took my hand. "You make a damn good arguement. Are you sure you're not a professional advisor?" he asked, making me laugh.

"Alright, I admit it that you've got some very good points and anyone would be stupid to ignore the facts. I will stay but we have to agree on something. Okay?"

"Ok, what's that?" I asked, searching through every condition he might set forth.

"We take things slow and see how things work out. I don't know what this," he lifted up our hands, "is, but if there is something more, then I don't want to rush into everything just to have it fuck up."

"I agree. Really, I do."

"Good, so where do we go from here?" he asked.

"I think starting tomorrow, we should retrace your steps and visit the alley. You never know what you may find. Sound good?"

"Yeah, but I think I'm going to go to sleep. You should do the same." With that, he got up after kissing my hand and went into the living room, shutting the door behind him.

{Matt's POV}

As I laid back on the couch with Silas on my side, I thought about everything that had just happened and would have happen had I not stopped it. Riley was a beautiful girl, she was but I couldn't take advantage of her inebriated state. I was lucky enough to have realized what was going on before it went further and regret followed.

We didn't know each other but I did feel a very deep attraction growing for her and I wasn't sure how to feel about it, given the circumstances. I didn't know her past or what experience she had with dating. I was sure that sleeping with guys she hardly knew wasn't a habit for her and didn't want to deem her to that opinion from other people.

When Riley drank, she really opened up and let down the tough, independent side of her that she made seem natural. The only problem with our agreement was that I was to have to constantly keep myself in check. Staying in a one bedroom, one bathroom appartment was small enough for two people, let alone two people who were developing feelings for one another.