A Beautiful Mistake

“Look at her.”

“Look at how big she's getting.”

“She got pregnant the first weekend in September. She's only like five months pregnant. She looks like she's about to pop.”

I heard whispers similar to these every day as I walked down the hallways. Usually, I brushed them off. I had been dealing with them for so long now, I was used to them. But this morning, they just irked me. It was January 30th, a Monday.

They had changed the winter break from March to February, so I was leaving earlier. I was leaving in five days, on February 3rd. Ironically, the day I was leaving was five months to the date that I got pregnant. I was big for how far along I was, but the baby was healthy.

And that's all that mattered.

The kids in my school were over exaggerating. I didn't look like I was about to pop. But I was pretty big. Huffing, I reached into my locker and grabbed my things for my first class. I got a soda from the vending machine and then walked to class.

I found my seat in the back, glad to have it.

My friends hadn't dumped me when they found out I was pregnant, about a month and a half ago when I could no longer hide my pregnancy. I refused to wear baggy clothes. But they were acting differently. They didn't invite me to parties, or out to the mall or anything like that.

If I asked to join, or came up with an idea to go somewhere, they would agree but they never sought to hang out with me. In a way, I was a little bit grateful. Because I thought they would completely shun me. They hadn't, though. I still had my spot at the popular table. People still looked up to me for the most part. The friendships I had with my fellow students hardly changed at all.

But the teachers – the teachers no longer looked at me the way they use to.

Now, it was like I had the plague or something. They avoided me in the hallways. They hardly called on me when I raised my hand. We lived in a pretty upscale community, with a lot of rich people. A pregnant teen, in their eyes, was something to frown upon.

But what I didn't understand, is why my peers were more accepting than my teachers. Teachers were supposed to be more helpful, more mature. I couldn't let me bother me that much, though, because I only had five days left in this school.

In the end, though, I didn't care what anybody thought of me.

I loved my child.

With every little, tiny piece of my heart I loved my child. I was one hundred percent sure that I had never loved anything or anyone more than I loved my child. Don't get me wrong – I loved my family so much. It was a different kind of love.

I didn't know how to explain it.

But I was more sure of it than anything, the love I had for this child.

My birthday was in April, so I was going to be 16 when I gave birth. It was something that scared me every day – giving birth and taking care of this child. I hoped that I could do it, but I knew with my Aunt Gabriella's help, I could. My parents were there to support me, too of course. Just from far away.

My phone buzzed with a text message. It was from Teresa, my best friend in Austin.

Somehow, most of the school knows that Isaiah is having a baby and you're coming to this school.

I groaned when I saw this.

Isaiah was the fathers name. I barley talked about him. Because hello, if anybody from my school found out about my random hook up, they'd think I was a hoe. No matter it was guy that I lost my virginity to. No matter that it was the one and only time that I've had sex.

They wouldn't see those details.

What are they saying?

Isaiah was older than me, but only by a year. He was sixteen, so he'd be seventeen when the baby was born. I wish I would have gotten to know him more when we had sex. Now that the night was father away, I remembered every detail. I remembered being so attracted to him. Was that the alcohol, or was that going to be the case when I saw him again?

I told him I was pregnant two months ago. The conversation was over the phone. It wasn't pleasant, but it was very necessary. It went much, much better than I thought it was. I thought he was going to tell me to screw off, that he didn't want anything to do with the baby.

He had an Oh Shit! couple of days, but in the end he came around and told me he was going to be there for me and his child. His distant reaction at first was something that I could not get mad at him for. What sixteen year old boy wouldn't be like that?

I knew that if I was him, I'd react the same way he did.

Maybe even worse.

My phone vibrated again.

Nothing much. They're just surprised. Gossiping like crazy about what you are going to look like, what you're going to be like. Stuff like that.

Teresa was the friend that I went to the party with, and since I found out I was pregnant, we got super, super close. I had never had a best friend like that, but I was really grateful for her and our friendship. I told her before anyone else at my school that I was pregnant.

She was there for me, every step of the way.

Her loyalty surprised me, but I welcomed it.

I needed it.

Oh, okay. I hope nobody is mean. I texted back.

The teacher was blabbing on about something that I didn't care about. He saw that I was texting, but did nothing about it. None of the teachers really cared what I did anymore.

I got your back if they are. ;)

When the conversation ended, I tucked my phone back into my pocket and doodled on a worksheet after I'd quickly completed it. The rest of the week went by slowly. My flight was at noon on Friday, so I wasn't going to school that day.

My friends acted like they were sad that I was leaving, but I knew they were probably relieved that I would be gone. I was glad that I knew that these people weren't my real friends.

All my stuff was gone.

Sent ahead to Austin so it could be unpacked in my room at my aunts house. Nobody was going to let me do any work. I had a few pairs of clothes, my phone and its charger and a few magazines for the plane ride.

Thursday was a long day. We had a goodbye dinner with my family, and my mother and father and I did a lot of talking.

So by the time I went to bed, I was exhausted.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep.