Sequel: A Past To Repeat Itself ›
Status: Completed!
A Lifetime to Struggle
Games.
"So.. Do you wanna tell me what's going on between you and Brian?" Jimmy asked, after I had settled down on his bed.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, feeling like I knew what he meant, but not one hundred percent sure.
"I saw you two dancing the other night.." Jimmy sat down on the ground in front of me, sitting with his legs sprawled out in front of him. It reminded me of that time that I first let all my anger go on Jimmy.
"Yeah and?" I asked. I was right. I knew this is what he wanted to talk about.
"Well.. It wasn't really.. friendly dancing.." Jimmy stated, ending it with a nervous laugh.
"No shit it wasn't." I said rolling my eyes, and falling back onto the pillows, staring up at the ceiling.
"So.. Are you guy's like a thing or? Cause I saw him come up from your room this morning, his face all flushed and what not." Jimmy explained.
"No! We're not .... A thing." I said, wishing inside that we were. But I quickly removed that thought.
"You know Harmony.. You can tell me anything." Jimmy said, breaking his words up slowly, like he was trying carefully to pick and choose the right words.
"Last time I did that, it turned into a one person screaming match, with you totally freaking out." I stated, hoping to remind him of that day.
He nodded slowly. " I know, I know. That was stupid of me. I'm sorry." Jimmy inhaled deeply. "I freaked out because what you were saying well.. Yeah. I mean. I did think of you like that at one point in my life. Not for very long, maybe a month, but I never wanted you to know. I thought it was weird, you know? So I guess when you brought it up, I got worried you might have known, then things would have been weird for us." He explained, laughing at himself. "It's kind of stupid now that I think about it."
I stared at Jimmy for a moment, then laughed at him. " I didn't know that, but I did." I replied.
Jimmy laughed and nodded. "Fair enough. Now, explain to me what's going on."
I sighed, and looked at him, sure my eyes showed how sad I was.
"Brian hates me." I said. "This morning he told me to stop caring about him, that I was stupid to think we could talk about things." I shook my head, trying to hold back the tears that weren't needed.
"And just the other night, he was all over me. Dancing, having a good time."
Jimmy tilted his head, back and forth, side to side before speaking up.
"He's confused." He said simply.
"That's what I though!"
"You guy's have been friends for so long, now all of a sudden you guys are thinking of each other in... well, I guess a sexual way.."
I went to argue with him, but he stopped me right away.
"Sh, Jimmy's talking. I have the speaking stick." He said, holding up an air full of nothing.
"Like I was saying before you rudely interrupted me.. You and Brian are thinking of each other in ways you guys haven't before. And it's so sudden that it's like.. tackling you both in a bear hug. How does that work? I'm not sure, but don't judge.
It's stressful to think of your bestfriend like that. And it's eating away at both of you, because you want each other so bad, but you know it's wrong. That's probably why he's being like this to you now. In a weird way, he's trying to keep you from him, and him from yourself, so your friendship isn't totally ruined. What I don't think he's realizing is that by forcing you away from him, that he's ruining it more then it would be if you guys had actually has sex."
I cringed as Jimmy spoke. I didn't want to hear this, but I knew I had to.
"Now... Do you like Brian?" He asked.
Do I like Brian? That's the big question. Do I like Brian, his personality, his great heart that he used to show everyday, his humor, his caring towards others, his passion for anything he loves, his determination, and all the other things? Or do I like his perfectly kept hair, his big arms that are covered in tattoo's, his brown eyes, his thin lips, his nose, his torso, his hands, and every other detail of his body?
I like it all. Everything about him. Who he is, what he does, how he acts, what he wears..
Everything about Brian, I liked.
I nodded slowly. "Yes." I said, my voice barley audible.
" So we'll have to play a little game with him now won't we?" Jimmy asked, a devilish smile appearing on his face.
I sat up on the bed, and gave him a confused look.
"Game?" I asked.
Jimmy nodded. "Brian's being a dick, I won't lie. So you're going to do exactly what he want's you to."
"I'm not following...."
"Brian told you to stop caring for him right? I highly doubt he'll see that out of you. So show him you're fair game. Don't treat him nice anymore. Fucking kick him in the balls for all I care. Be a bitch to him."
I tilted my head to the right, slightly smiling at Jimmy. He had a good idea.. A really good one. But the question is; Can I go through with it?
"It'll give him a reality check. Make him realized what's he's losing. Hell, make him think he's already lost you."
I can't say I've ever seen Jimmy so ready to plan against Brian before. Brian and Jimmy were like me and Jimmy. Close and insuperable, and pretty much supportive of any choices either of us made.
I nodded at Jimmy, "Okay." I said.
"Good, Here's what you do..."
I heard the front door open, and then close. I took a quick peek at my clock; 3.43 in the morning. I knew it was Brian, I could hear his muttering and heavy feet up stairs.
I heard my bedroom door open, and started worrying. I didn't want to get this plan of Jimmy's into action right away. Especially when Brian's drunk.
I heard his heavy foot steps come down my stairs, but stop at the last one.
"Harmony?" he asked.
"What do you want?" I asked, forcing my voice to come out bitchy like. I felt bad as soon as it came out.
"I wanted to talk to you." He replied, his voice sounding a bit slurred.
"Yeah well, you said earlier that you didn't. So you can leave. Now." I mentally hit myself in the face a few times. I can't do this, not to Brian. It's not in my nature.
"I don't know what I was saying--" he burped a little-- " Earlier. Excuse me."
"You were sober earlier. Not drunk. I'll trust the sober you over the drunk you." I turned over in my bed, away from what I could make out of him since it was so dark.
"I was upset, I--"
"I couldn't give two shits Brian." I replied, the pain getting worse.
"Why are you being like this?" He asked, sighing. "If you'd listen to me, things would be a lot easier."
"Listen to you? Gosh, what a good idea. Maybe if you would actually listen to me for once, I would have been listening to you now. But you know what? You didn't ever listen, so I don't see the need to hear you out now. Good night Gates."
Brian was silent. If he wasn't breathing so hard, I would have thought he'd gone up stairs..
"You don't need to be a bitch about it." He muttered.
"You did ask me to stop being so nice and caring to you, right? So here I am. Doing what you asked."
"I didn't think you'd actually--"
"Well maybe you should stop doubting me so fucking much, yeah?"
I threw the cover on over my head. I heard him whisper something, and go back up the stairs.
That was, by far, the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, feeling like I knew what he meant, but not one hundred percent sure.
"I saw you two dancing the other night.." Jimmy sat down on the ground in front of me, sitting with his legs sprawled out in front of him. It reminded me of that time that I first let all my anger go on Jimmy.
"Yeah and?" I asked. I was right. I knew this is what he wanted to talk about.
"Well.. It wasn't really.. friendly dancing.." Jimmy stated, ending it with a nervous laugh.
"No shit it wasn't." I said rolling my eyes, and falling back onto the pillows, staring up at the ceiling.
"So.. Are you guy's like a thing or? Cause I saw him come up from your room this morning, his face all flushed and what not." Jimmy explained.
"No! We're not .... A thing." I said, wishing inside that we were. But I quickly removed that thought.
"You know Harmony.. You can tell me anything." Jimmy said, breaking his words up slowly, like he was trying carefully to pick and choose the right words.
"Last time I did that, it turned into a one person screaming match, with you totally freaking out." I stated, hoping to remind him of that day.
He nodded slowly. " I know, I know. That was stupid of me. I'm sorry." Jimmy inhaled deeply. "I freaked out because what you were saying well.. Yeah. I mean. I did think of you like that at one point in my life. Not for very long, maybe a month, but I never wanted you to know. I thought it was weird, you know? So I guess when you brought it up, I got worried you might have known, then things would have been weird for us." He explained, laughing at himself. "It's kind of stupid now that I think about it."
I stared at Jimmy for a moment, then laughed at him. " I didn't know that, but I did." I replied.
Jimmy laughed and nodded. "Fair enough. Now, explain to me what's going on."
I sighed, and looked at him, sure my eyes showed how sad I was.
"Brian hates me." I said. "This morning he told me to stop caring about him, that I was stupid to think we could talk about things." I shook my head, trying to hold back the tears that weren't needed.
"And just the other night, he was all over me. Dancing, having a good time."
Jimmy tilted his head, back and forth, side to side before speaking up.
"He's confused." He said simply.
"That's what I though!"
"You guy's have been friends for so long, now all of a sudden you guys are thinking of each other in... well, I guess a sexual way.."
I went to argue with him, but he stopped me right away.
"Sh, Jimmy's talking. I have the speaking stick." He said, holding up an air full of nothing.
"Like I was saying before you rudely interrupted me.. You and Brian are thinking of each other in ways you guys haven't before. And it's so sudden that it's like.. tackling you both in a bear hug. How does that work? I'm not sure, but don't judge.
It's stressful to think of your bestfriend like that. And it's eating away at both of you, because you want each other so bad, but you know it's wrong. That's probably why he's being like this to you now. In a weird way, he's trying to keep you from him, and him from yourself, so your friendship isn't totally ruined. What I don't think he's realizing is that by forcing you away from him, that he's ruining it more then it would be if you guys had actually has sex."
I cringed as Jimmy spoke. I didn't want to hear this, but I knew I had to.
"Now... Do you like Brian?" He asked.
Do I like Brian? That's the big question. Do I like Brian, his personality, his great heart that he used to show everyday, his humor, his caring towards others, his passion for anything he loves, his determination, and all the other things? Or do I like his perfectly kept hair, his big arms that are covered in tattoo's, his brown eyes, his thin lips, his nose, his torso, his hands, and every other detail of his body?
I like it all. Everything about him. Who he is, what he does, how he acts, what he wears..
Everything about Brian, I liked.
I nodded slowly. "Yes." I said, my voice barley audible.
" So we'll have to play a little game with him now won't we?" Jimmy asked, a devilish smile appearing on his face.
I sat up on the bed, and gave him a confused look.
"Game?" I asked.
Jimmy nodded. "Brian's being a dick, I won't lie. So you're going to do exactly what he want's you to."
"I'm not following...."
"Brian told you to stop caring for him right? I highly doubt he'll see that out of you. So show him you're fair game. Don't treat him nice anymore. Fucking kick him in the balls for all I care. Be a bitch to him."
I tilted my head to the right, slightly smiling at Jimmy. He had a good idea.. A really good one. But the question is; Can I go through with it?
"It'll give him a reality check. Make him realized what's he's losing. Hell, make him think he's already lost you."
I can't say I've ever seen Jimmy so ready to plan against Brian before. Brian and Jimmy were like me and Jimmy. Close and insuperable, and pretty much supportive of any choices either of us made.
I nodded at Jimmy, "Okay." I said.
"Good, Here's what you do..."
I heard the front door open, and then close. I took a quick peek at my clock; 3.43 in the morning. I knew it was Brian, I could hear his muttering and heavy feet up stairs.
I heard my bedroom door open, and started worrying. I didn't want to get this plan of Jimmy's into action right away. Especially when Brian's drunk.
I heard his heavy foot steps come down my stairs, but stop at the last one.
"Harmony?" he asked.
"What do you want?" I asked, forcing my voice to come out bitchy like. I felt bad as soon as it came out.
"I wanted to talk to you." He replied, his voice sounding a bit slurred.
"Yeah well, you said earlier that you didn't. So you can leave. Now." I mentally hit myself in the face a few times. I can't do this, not to Brian. It's not in my nature.
"I don't know what I was saying--" he burped a little-- " Earlier. Excuse me."
"You were sober earlier. Not drunk. I'll trust the sober you over the drunk you." I turned over in my bed, away from what I could make out of him since it was so dark.
"I was upset, I--"
"I couldn't give two shits Brian." I replied, the pain getting worse.
"Why are you being like this?" He asked, sighing. "If you'd listen to me, things would be a lot easier."
"Listen to you? Gosh, what a good idea. Maybe if you would actually listen to me for once, I would have been listening to you now. But you know what? You didn't ever listen, so I don't see the need to hear you out now. Good night Gates."
Brian was silent. If he wasn't breathing so hard, I would have thought he'd gone up stairs..
"You don't need to be a bitch about it." He muttered.
"You did ask me to stop being so nice and caring to you, right? So here I am. Doing what you asked."
"I didn't think you'd actually--"
"Well maybe you should stop doubting me so fucking much, yeah?"
I threw the cover on over my head. I heard him whisper something, and go back up the stairs.
That was, by far, the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yay or Nay? Do you think it'll work?Oh the thing's I have planned. I hope you guys will stick around and see ;D
More comments would be much appreciated ! I love reading what you guys have to say!