Sequel: A Past To Repeat Itself ›
Status: Completed!
A Lifetime to Struggle
*** and Chuck.
It was an endless stream of girls coming to the house for the rest of the week.
Girls I saw at school, girls I knew from high school, and some random girl's that look like cheap trash. They'd all go up stairs with Brian, and loud music would play, not like it did much. You could hear what was going on up there. The creaking bed, the headboard banging against the wall, the girls screaming, Brian grunting. He was a pig. A disgusting, careless pig. I don't think i've ever hated some one before, but Brian was definitely getting there.
"I don't remember him being like this," Evan said as we sat down on my bed.
"He's famous now, remember?" I said, wanting to punch him out so bad.
"Yeah, That's true." Evan sighed, and leaned back on my headboard. I crawled up beside him, and he pulled me into his arms.
I like Evan. He's not a dick like Brian, but has everything that i liked about Brian.
Muscles, tattoo's, nice eyes. I found someone I could have, and who loves me for me.
"Do you miss him?" He asked.
I quickly shook my head. "No."
He began stroking my hair lightly, " I know it's hard to lose a friend to fame. But it's his fault not yours. He's obviously lost someone really special."
I looked up at him, smiling. I then pulled his face to mine, and captured our lips together.
"And he's definitely missing out on some action," Evan said smirking, pulling me up onto his lap. I giggled, rubbing our noses together.
"Is he now?" I asked playfully.
"Oh for sure," Evan purred, rubbing his hands up and down my legs.
I connected our lips again, for longer though. I wanted the kiss to linger on his lips so he'd want more. Of course, when I pulled away, He came straight back. He pushed me backwards, crawling on top of me, pinning me to the bed. I lifted my hands to his hair, tugging on it. His hair was to short for me. It didn't feel right to grab at something that short.
So instead, I ran my hands down his muscular chest.
"Mmm, Harm," He moaned, kissing me harder. I smiled in the kiss, knowing i had him wrapped around my finger.
I started grabbing at the hem of his shirt, and her pulled it right off him.
"Ugh, babe, I really want you right now." He stated, ripping the shirt off me and throwing it to the ground.
I laughed at him and his rush to get things done. But I decided I wanted to fool around a bit more. I started rubbing his lips with my tongue, and he opened his mouth a lot quicker then I would have liked. Our tongue's danced for a bit, before he left for the sweet spot her found in my neck the first time we ever made out.
I moaned, arching my back. Evan smirked, kissing ever other exposed piece of skin before coming to the button on my jeans. He slowly undid it, and pulled the zipper down.
I didn't want this though. I wanted him back on top of me, hovering over me, looking at me and smiling before i actually let him inside. I wanted to love him before we got this serious.
He didn't feel right though. His body wasn't big enough for me, his hair wasn't long enough, his eyes not catching my attention and making my stomach to twirls, his hands definitely weren't big enough for me either.
Everything I was, They had to have at least one times bigger.
"Evan, don't." I said, pulling myself away from him.
He looked up at me, sadness in his eyes. We were so close.
"I- I can't do this." I said, wondering why I couldn't. Brian doesn't seem to have a problem with it.
"It's your first time isn't it?" He asked sighing. "I'll take good care of you babe, I know what i'm--"
"No, no. It- it's not my first time." I laughed. "I just... We aren't exactly..." I tried to find the right words to explain, but I couldn't. Not this time.
"You're the type who waits for love, aren't you?" He asked, his shoulders slumping.
I nodded my head. "Yeah. That."
He picked his shirt up off the floor. "Next time, don't give me a sign that you aren't."
He slipped his shirt on, and made his way for the stairs.
"I'm sorry," I said, feeling once again that I had messed things up. He just shook his head, and continued up the stair case.
I sighed, picking up my shirt and pulled it on over my head, then did up my pants and made my way up stairs. I saw Evan go into the living room, and I chased after him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered in his ear as I sat down next to him.
He didn't reply. He just looked hard at the TV.
I started rubbing his shoulders, but he shrugged them off.
"I'm leaving, " He announced to everyone that was in the room. Which would be Anvera, Danny, Matt and Jimmy.
I watched him get up off the couch, and storm out of the house.
If fucking up was a world sport, i'd be the champion.
"What was that all about?" Matt asked.
" Nothing, " I mumbled, getting up to leave.
" Harm, don't be like that, " Matt sighed, following me.
"It's nothing, really." I stated, wanting to leave him out of everything. I didn't want his temper to blow. Not again.
" Did you guys have your first fight?" He asked, smiling to himself.
I nodded.
"Aw, It's okay Harm. He'll come around. Natalia and I just had our first fight not to long ago. We're back together though, and a lot happier." He explained.
"You and Nats are a thing now?" I asked, shocked that I wasn't informed of this.
"A girl who's that hot, and smart, is a girl you shouldn't let go." Matt said laughing. "That's what dad always said."
"I wouldn't know. We don't talk remember?" I rolled my eyes.
"Let's not talk about that. What happened between you and Evan?" He asked again.
I shrugged. " I gave him the wrong impression. He didn't like it." I replied.
"What kind of impression?" He asked, his face going grim.
" I made it look like I wanted to sleep with him, and then when I realized I didn't, well. He got a bit mad."
I watched as Matt's eyes got darker. "I understand where he's coming from. I would be mad too. But not to that extent."
"It's no big deal Matt. Just chill."
"I'd like to, but the fact that you almost had sex in my basement isn't really settling." He replied.
"It's not like it's my first time, " I muttered, walking over to the fridge.
"What!?" Matt asked, completely astounded.
"Yeah, I told you already." I stated, pulling out a beer from the fridge.
"When the hell was this!?" Matt asked, his voice raising a bit with each word.
" God, I don't know. When I was seventeen? It doesn't matter." I twisted the cap off with my shirt, and threw the cap into the sink.
"Seventeen? You weren't even the legal drinking age then!" Matt yelled.
"Holy shit Matthew, calm down! You gave yourself up when you were seventeen to!" I argued.
"Yeah, But I was a selfish, immature teenager. You weren't!" He retorted.
"Obviously I was!" I slammed my beer down on the counter. "You can stop telling me what to do and what not to do any day now. I'm fast from a Teenager, and I can take care of myself."
"Really? Is that why you found yourself with out a place to live before I invited you here?" He asked.
I stayed silent. He was right. If he wouldn't have let me stay here, I wouldn't have a place to go. My mom and dad didn't like me as much as they did Matt. Matt was their golden child, even if he did drop out of school.
"You know what.. Kick me out then if you don't want me here." I glared at him, letting him know just how serious I am.
" Don't be stupid Harmony, You know I would never kick you out." Matt sighed. "Let's just calm down, okay?"
I nodded my head, although I was far from finished with him. There's so much I've wanted to say to Matt, but never gotten the chance to.
A loud scream came from up stairs, followed by a big crash.
"What a fucking pig, " I spat.
Matt looked up at the ceiling, sighing and closing his eye tightly. "I can't do this anymore." He said. He turned away from me, and headed out of the kitchen, to what I assumed was upstairs.
Another girl yelled Brian's name, with another loud thud. It was disgusting what he was doing. Taking all those girls advantage.
I sat on the counter, re-thinking what happened down stairs with Evan and I. How it didn't feel right, why he wasn't right. All the things I thought of before.
Suddenly, I found myself almost choking on my beer. I coughed everything out, gasping for air. Everything I thought before. He was to small, his hair wasn't long enough, his hand's weren't big enough, his body wasn't big enough for me. Everything I thought was wrong with Evan, was because he wasn't Brian.
I wanted Brian. I wanted Brian to be the one I slept with, the one who would love me. I want him to be the one who would be there for me when I needed him, or just the guy to hold me.
But.. any chance of us being together was officially destroyed.
There was no way I would ever get the old Brian back.
Girls I saw at school, girls I knew from high school, and some random girl's that look like cheap trash. They'd all go up stairs with Brian, and loud music would play, not like it did much. You could hear what was going on up there. The creaking bed, the headboard banging against the wall, the girls screaming, Brian grunting. He was a pig. A disgusting, careless pig. I don't think i've ever hated some one before, but Brian was definitely getting there.
"I don't remember him being like this," Evan said as we sat down on my bed.
"He's famous now, remember?" I said, wanting to punch him out so bad.
"Yeah, That's true." Evan sighed, and leaned back on my headboard. I crawled up beside him, and he pulled me into his arms.
I like Evan. He's not a dick like Brian, but has everything that i liked about Brian.
Muscles, tattoo's, nice eyes. I found someone I could have, and who loves me for me.
"Do you miss him?" He asked.
I quickly shook my head. "No."
He began stroking my hair lightly, " I know it's hard to lose a friend to fame. But it's his fault not yours. He's obviously lost someone really special."
I looked up at him, smiling. I then pulled his face to mine, and captured our lips together.
"And he's definitely missing out on some action," Evan said smirking, pulling me up onto his lap. I giggled, rubbing our noses together.
"Is he now?" I asked playfully.
"Oh for sure," Evan purred, rubbing his hands up and down my legs.
I connected our lips again, for longer though. I wanted the kiss to linger on his lips so he'd want more. Of course, when I pulled away, He came straight back. He pushed me backwards, crawling on top of me, pinning me to the bed. I lifted my hands to his hair, tugging on it. His hair was to short for me. It didn't feel right to grab at something that short.
So instead, I ran my hands down his muscular chest.
"Mmm, Harm," He moaned, kissing me harder. I smiled in the kiss, knowing i had him wrapped around my finger.
I started grabbing at the hem of his shirt, and her pulled it right off him.
"Ugh, babe, I really want you right now." He stated, ripping the shirt off me and throwing it to the ground.
I laughed at him and his rush to get things done. But I decided I wanted to fool around a bit more. I started rubbing his lips with my tongue, and he opened his mouth a lot quicker then I would have liked. Our tongue's danced for a bit, before he left for the sweet spot her found in my neck the first time we ever made out.
I moaned, arching my back. Evan smirked, kissing ever other exposed piece of skin before coming to the button on my jeans. He slowly undid it, and pulled the zipper down.
I didn't want this though. I wanted him back on top of me, hovering over me, looking at me and smiling before i actually let him inside. I wanted to love him before we got this serious.
He didn't feel right though. His body wasn't big enough for me, his hair wasn't long enough, his eyes not catching my attention and making my stomach to twirls, his hands definitely weren't big enough for me either.
Everything I was, They had to have at least one times bigger.
"Evan, don't." I said, pulling myself away from him.
He looked up at me, sadness in his eyes. We were so close.
"I- I can't do this." I said, wondering why I couldn't. Brian doesn't seem to have a problem with it.
"It's your first time isn't it?" He asked sighing. "I'll take good care of you babe, I know what i'm--"
"No, no. It- it's not my first time." I laughed. "I just... We aren't exactly..." I tried to find the right words to explain, but I couldn't. Not this time.
"You're the type who waits for love, aren't you?" He asked, his shoulders slumping.
I nodded my head. "Yeah. That."
He picked his shirt up off the floor. "Next time, don't give me a sign that you aren't."
He slipped his shirt on, and made his way for the stairs.
"I'm sorry," I said, feeling once again that I had messed things up. He just shook his head, and continued up the stair case.
I sighed, picking up my shirt and pulled it on over my head, then did up my pants and made my way up stairs. I saw Evan go into the living room, and I chased after him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered in his ear as I sat down next to him.
He didn't reply. He just looked hard at the TV.
I started rubbing his shoulders, but he shrugged them off.
"I'm leaving, " He announced to everyone that was in the room. Which would be Anvera, Danny, Matt and Jimmy.
I watched him get up off the couch, and storm out of the house.
If fucking up was a world sport, i'd be the champion.
"What was that all about?" Matt asked.
" Nothing, " I mumbled, getting up to leave.
" Harm, don't be like that, " Matt sighed, following me.
"It's nothing, really." I stated, wanting to leave him out of everything. I didn't want his temper to blow. Not again.
" Did you guys have your first fight?" He asked, smiling to himself.
I nodded.
"Aw, It's okay Harm. He'll come around. Natalia and I just had our first fight not to long ago. We're back together though, and a lot happier." He explained.
"You and Nats are a thing now?" I asked, shocked that I wasn't informed of this.
"A girl who's that hot, and smart, is a girl you shouldn't let go." Matt said laughing. "That's what dad always said."
"I wouldn't know. We don't talk remember?" I rolled my eyes.
"Let's not talk about that. What happened between you and Evan?" He asked again.
I shrugged. " I gave him the wrong impression. He didn't like it." I replied.
"What kind of impression?" He asked, his face going grim.
" I made it look like I wanted to sleep with him, and then when I realized I didn't, well. He got a bit mad."
I watched as Matt's eyes got darker. "I understand where he's coming from. I would be mad too. But not to that extent."
"It's no big deal Matt. Just chill."
"I'd like to, but the fact that you almost had sex in my basement isn't really settling." He replied.
"It's not like it's my first time, " I muttered, walking over to the fridge.
"What!?" Matt asked, completely astounded.
"Yeah, I told you already." I stated, pulling out a beer from the fridge.
"When the hell was this!?" Matt asked, his voice raising a bit with each word.
" God, I don't know. When I was seventeen? It doesn't matter." I twisted the cap off with my shirt, and threw the cap into the sink.
"Seventeen? You weren't even the legal drinking age then!" Matt yelled.
"Holy shit Matthew, calm down! You gave yourself up when you were seventeen to!" I argued.
"Yeah, But I was a selfish, immature teenager. You weren't!" He retorted.
"Obviously I was!" I slammed my beer down on the counter. "You can stop telling me what to do and what not to do any day now. I'm fast from a Teenager, and I can take care of myself."
"Really? Is that why you found yourself with out a place to live before I invited you here?" He asked.
I stayed silent. He was right. If he wouldn't have let me stay here, I wouldn't have a place to go. My mom and dad didn't like me as much as they did Matt. Matt was their golden child, even if he did drop out of school.
"You know what.. Kick me out then if you don't want me here." I glared at him, letting him know just how serious I am.
" Don't be stupid Harmony, You know I would never kick you out." Matt sighed. "Let's just calm down, okay?"
I nodded my head, although I was far from finished with him. There's so much I've wanted to say to Matt, but never gotten the chance to.
A loud scream came from up stairs, followed by a big crash.
"What a fucking pig, " I spat.
Matt looked up at the ceiling, sighing and closing his eye tightly. "I can't do this anymore." He said. He turned away from me, and headed out of the kitchen, to what I assumed was upstairs.
Another girl yelled Brian's name, with another loud thud. It was disgusting what he was doing. Taking all those girls advantage.
I sat on the counter, re-thinking what happened down stairs with Evan and I. How it didn't feel right, why he wasn't right. All the things I thought of before.
Suddenly, I found myself almost choking on my beer. I coughed everything out, gasping for air. Everything I thought before. He was to small, his hair wasn't long enough, his hand's weren't big enough, his body wasn't big enough for me. Everything I thought was wrong with Evan, was because he wasn't Brian.
I wanted Brian. I wanted Brian to be the one I slept with, the one who would love me. I want him to be the one who would be there for me when I needed him, or just the guy to hold me.
But.. any chance of us being together was officially destroyed.
There was no way I would ever get the old Brian back.
♠ ♠ ♠
This one is a little bit longer right? Okay, so here's the reason for that;I'm having a late birthday dinner tonight with my mom, ( Sushi ftw! ) and I highly doubt i'll be able to update again tonight because I have to pack when I get home. Ah, Christmas break, What a lovely thing.
Comment are appreciated, you guys are amazing.