A Lifetime to Struggle

Explanations

“Still hasn’t woken up yet, huh?” Brian asked, a yawn soon following behind.
He watched as my eyes were glued to Jimmy’s still face. I sighed deeply and nodded.
“He’ll get there. Knowing Jimmy he’s probably fighting like hell with himself to wake up.” Brian squeezed me tightly, trying to reassure me.
“I hope so.” I replied.
“Do you think you can leave long enough to go get some food?” He asked.
God I was so hungry. But I wanted to be here for Jimmy, just in case he woke up. Just in case he can hear me and won’t feel so alone in there.
“I- I don’t know. I’ll feel horrible if I just...Leave him here alone.” I replied.
“Harm, you can’t starve yourself for him. He’ll be here when you get back. If he can hear us, let him think for a bit. Let him just be alone.”
I sighed, my shoulders falling down. “Okay.” I got off Brian’s lap reluctantly and stretched.
“I’ll be right back okay Jimmy?” I said to him, kissing his head. Brian grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. He was in pain seeing Jimmy like this, and it was killing me that he wouldn’t verbally admit it.
“Do you want to stay?” I asked. He shook his head, his jaw clenched.
“No, I can’t.” Brian opened the door, and quickly pulled us out.
“Brian, are you okay? If you need to cry, just do it. You don’t need to be strong for me—“
“I’m fine.” Brian cut in, his voice coming out all broken up. I stopped dead in my tracks, yanking him back to me.
“Brian,” I started. “Why can’t you be honest with me? We want this relationship to work our don’t we? And the first thing that we need is trust. Which, you know is what i’m all about. Remember how long it took me to trust you with everything?”
Brian looked down at his shoes, shuffling his weight from one foot to the other.
“He’s my best friend Harmony. He wouldn’t want me to be crying over this. He’d want me to keep going with what I’m doing, he’d want me to make sure you’re okay because he knows how you get when one of us gets hurt. I’m coping with it in my own way. When I tell you I’m fine, I swear I am. It’s just hard to see him like this. To see him with nothing in him, when he used to have everything.” Brian’s eyes were slightly glossy, and tinted red. “Besides, you’re the girl. You cry and are worried. I’m the man, meaning I have to be strong for both of us.”
“Brian,” I said in a near whisper. “I don’t need you to be strong for me.” I pulled him into a hug, hugging him tightly, wanting our bodies to mend together.
“I can handle myself.”
“I just want to be the good boyfriend.” He stated, hugging me back.
“You’re the best boyfriend, and best friend.” I let go of him, and grabbed his hand.
“I try.” He said. “I have a great girlfriend.” I smiled, and leaned into him as we walked.
“If it weren’t for Jimmy, we wouldn’t be here like this right now.” I said as we stopped in front of the elevator.
“What do you mean?”Brian asked, pushing the down button.
“The day we went out for tacos, and Matt stole them right out of his hands, You remember that?” I asked.
Brian nodded his head.
“Well, while we were out, He told me he noticed you looking at me differently. It really weirded him out.” I laughed to myself, remember the day.
Brian started shaking his head. “I didn’t think it was so obvious at the time.”
I laughed, smiling up at him. “It wasn’t. Not until Jimmy told me. I was going to confront you about it, but...”
“But what?” Brian asked, eager to hear what I had to say.
“I got distracted. Your huge arms and nice body really got to me.” I winked at him.
“I knew that whole hair cut talk was bullshit!” He exclaimed smiling. I shoved him lightly, and the elevator doors slide open. He allowed me in first, and then walked in after. I pushed the M button for main floor.
“What made you start to see me differently?” I asked as the doors closed.
Brian sighed, and looked up at the elevator ceiling.
“I’m not sure. I just... woke up one morning, and I saw you, and you just—“ Brian chuckled and shook his head. “This is stupid. Do I have to explain this?”
“Bri!” I whined. He sighed and looked at me in the eyes.
“I woke up, and when I looked at you, all dressed in your pj shorts, your hair messily tied up, sipping on reheated coffee, I don’t know. There was just something about seeing you like that that made me want you. You were glowing in my eyes, and just so beautiful. Then you caught me staring at you, and rolled your eyes and told me to take a picture because it would last longer. Your attitude just added to everything about you. I guess you could say that’s how it started.”
I gawked at Brian, in complete disbelief.
“You fell in love with me while I was in my pyjamas? Wow, that’s embarrassing.”
“I wasn’t sure if it was love at first sight. I found you more sexually attractive, but then... I guess it turned into something more.”
“You’re so adorable.” I said, laughing. “You guess? Oh Brian, you have so much to learn about feelings.”
“Hey, don’t ruin the moment.” Brian frowned.
“I’m sorry, will this make it better?” I pressed my lips against his, letting it be more of a heated kiss then it was a loving one.
“Fucking rights that’ll make it better,” Brian said, smirking.
“I love you,” I said, locking my arms around his neck.
“And I love you.” He replied, lightly resting his hands on my waist.
The elevator doors slipped open to reveal about four people. Their eyes locked onto Brian and I, and I immediately blushed.
“Excuse us,” Brian said, smiling. He grabbed my wrist, and pulled me out of the elevator.
We walked over to the small food court, and stood there looking for Matt or Natalia. We gave up about five minutes into our search, and stood in a line up to grab our food.
After waiting for Brian to pick out his food (GOD, WAS HE EVER PICKY.) We took our food back upstairs with us.
“Hey Brian,” I started while he picked up his turkey sandwich.
“Yeah?” He asked, taking a bit out of it.
“Have you told your parent’s we’re together?”
He sat in silence, while chewing his food. He thought it over for a bit, before he swallowed.
“Nope.” He replied simply. He brought the sandwich up to his mouth again and took another bit.
“Why not?” I asked. I opened up my macaroni Salad, and started picking at it with my plastic spork.
He shrugged. “They’d think it was weird.”
“So?”
“Have you told your mom?” He retorted, raising his right eyebrow.
“Of course not. Matt probably has though.” I stated.
“So then Brent must have told my dad, who told Suzy.” “You told Brent?”
“I think Matt did.”
“Your father would call you though if he knew. He’d make fun of you.” I stated, finally taking a bite of my salad.
“I don’t know Harmony.” Brian said sighing. “I don’t want them to know.”
“What? What not?!” I asked, finding this pretty shocking.
“Because.” Brian slid down in his seat forgetting his sandwich. “They’d ask so many questions, and then ask you all the questions they asked me, and they would find it weird, and... It’s just a lot Harms.”
I didn’t take me long before I realized that Brian was embarrassed. He didn’t want to tell his family because he was never expected to end up with a girl like me. He was expected to be with any other girl but me.
“You’re embarrassed.” I said, my mouth gaping.
“What? No!” Brian exclaimed.
“You. Are. So!”
“No, I’m not I—“
“Wow. I can’t believe it.” I half laughed, while I sat back in my seat.
“Harmony, no that’s not it. It’s just... Well, we weren’t exactly supposed to be a couple. I mean, no one ever saw it coming. Neither did we. It would be just so hard to explain, and then they would assume that what we have isn’t real, and, well I just don’t want that.”
“Just tell them you’re in love and that you can’t explain it. Jeez, you don’t need to make it a giant soap opera.”
I snapped my head at Jimmy, who’s eyes were open and beaming, and a smile planted on his face.
“Oh, tell me you didn’t think I’d give up on you that easily!”

♠ ♠ ♠

More comments would be nice :)
Unless this story is actually starting to suck now. Well shit then.
Hope you all had a better New Years then I did!