Sequel: A Past To Repeat Itself ›
Status: Completed!
A Lifetime to Struggle
Secrets.
I lay in my bed, turned on my side watching Brian’s chest slowly rise up and down. His dark medium hair was all over the place; on his face, neck, some strands even sticking up. I smiled at him, although he couldn’t see me. My whole body was consumed in happiness. I had everything I could ever want. A home, great friends, an education, and a perfect soon to be husband.
My life was almost complete. Just a few more months and I’m set for life. I closed my eyes, and tried to picture what the wedding would be like.
I imagined Brian waiting at the end of the isle with Jimmy, Johnny, Zacky and Matt standing to the side. He was wearing a black suit, his hair straightened out. He turned around, and smiled at me. The biggest, happiest smile I think I’ve even seen from him. I looked down on myself, and noticed I was wearing a beautiful strapless white dress. I looked back up again, to see that Matt had tears in his eyes, and that Jimmy was smiling at me like a goof. He then nudged Brian, encouraging him to reach his hand out to me. Once I got closer, I gladly took it, and stepped up to the pastor. Brian held both my hands in his, and whispered many things to be before agreeing to the vows. Once we were allowed, Brian kissed me. There was more passion, more love, more everything than ever before. Our first kiss as Husband and Wife. Married, and now together for life.
I opened my eyes again. The happiness just grew inside me. I couldn’t wait for this wedding. I couldn’t wait any longer. If I could, I’d have this wedding right now. But I know how badly Brian wanted this wedding. I wanted this wedding too. But the waiting was eating away at me, slowly killing me until there was nothing left I could do but marry him.
I laid my hand on his chest, slowly making circles. I didn’t want him to be sleeping right now. I was wide awake and bored. But after the date he just gave me, he deserves to have his sleep. I can only imagine how much hard work he could have put into that.
I quietly—carefully, snook out of the bed, slipping on Brian’s Metallica sweater to cover up my shirtless body. I walked around my room, picking up things off the floor and putting them back where they belong. I picked up Brian’s jeans, noticing how ripped up they really were. There were holes all over the front of the jeans, and little ones in the back pockets. Only Brian wouldn’t care for such things. I sighed, and rolled my eyes while tossing his clothes on the floor beside him so when He woke up tomorrow morning, he wouldn’t have to walk out of here in just his boxers. I picked up a few scrap papers, quickly going over them before deciding if they were trash or not. I picked up a few more articles of clothing, a few pens or pencils, books, and a picture or two, before my whole floor was visible. I smiled to myself, happy that I would now be able to see my floor. It wasn’t ever like this until Brian and I had started sharing a room. He brought all his crap down here, and never took it back upstairs. Not like it would matter anymore since we would be sharing a room together in our own house soon enough.
After I had finished with my room, I found myself sitting down on the bed, right beside Brian. I gazed over him for a few moments wondering just how exactly we got here. A few months ago we never thought dating each other was possible. Now we find ourselves getting married.
“Harm?” Brian mumbled. “Hey, babe, are you okay?” He voice was raspy, and quiet.
I smiled at him and nodded my head. “I’m fine. Can’t sleep.” I whispered.
Brian’s eyes squinted at me, and he propped himself up on his elbows. “Do you want me to stay up with you?”
“No, no. Go back to sleep.” I pulled his head towards mine, gently connecting our lips.
“Okay. Love you.” He said, before falling back onto his pillow.
“Love you too.” In a matter of seconds Brian had fallen back to sleep. I quietly laughed to myself.
He was so cute.
I got up off the bed, and walked around to my side. I laid down, and pulled the covers over myself while I brought my body closer to Brian’s. I hated not falling asleep before him. He would cuddle up to me, wrapping one arm around my torso and keeping me warm. But now, since he’s asleep and I’m not, I have no choice but to cuddle up to him myself. I rested my head on his muscular chest, and threw one arm over his torso. I listened to the steady beat of his heart, finding it more comforting than most things.
Just as I was falling asleep, an annoying sound started coming from my night stand. I figured since 1: it wasn’t my phone and 2: it was so late at night, that I wouldn’t answer it. I’m not going to be one of those snoopy girlfriends. I vowed to myself a while ago that I wouldn’t be like that. If I liked my privacy, I should respect others. Not long after the vibrations ended, an annoying beeping followed.
I tried to let it go, but I couldn’t. Not even over the sound of Brian’s heart. I closed my eyes, and sighed deeply. I rolled over to the other side of the bed, and grabbed the phone off the stand. I then flipped it open. I squinted as the bright light attacked my eyes. I contemplated on just closing it, but when I saw that there were three new messages, and one new voicemail, I found myself going against everything I had just thought. I couldn’t resist the urge to see what was so important.
I pushed the key that opened the messages, and began to read them. I didn’t recognize any of the names, and began to feel bad. So I immediately closed the messages. I did open the voice mail though, and gave that a quick listen too.
“Hey Brian. It’s Amanda. I was thinking about the message you left me the other day, and I really wanted to talk to you about it. You’re not really sleeping now are you? Well, anyways. I gave what you said a thought, and I do miss you. I miss us. I really want to see you again sometime soon. Maybe we can meet up and.....”Talk” about where we stand? Call me back.”
I felt my whole body get stiff. “Talk.” What the hell does that mean? “ Get together and “talk”. I felt my heart begin to race in my chest. What does she mean he called her, and told her he missed her? Who the hell is Amanda?! My breathing became faster, my mind becoming unclear. I opened up the messages again on the phone, and saw that one of them was from Amanda. I opened the message, and gasped loudly at what I saw.
A blonde girl, with big boobs practically naked in her bathroom. I snapped the phone shut, and gripped it tightly in my hand. There was no way this was happening. Not now. Not at what is supposed to be the most happiest time of my life.
I threw the covers off me, not giving two shits if I woke Brian up or not. Right now wasn’t the time for me to care. Right now was the time for me to have all hell break loose. I took the phone, and raised it high above my head. I was about to throw it at the wall, but then realized I needed this. I need to show Jimmy, and I needed to have it to confront Brian.
Until then, all contact towards Brian is cut off. Not until I get shit straight.
My life was almost complete. Just a few more months and I’m set for life. I closed my eyes, and tried to picture what the wedding would be like.
I imagined Brian waiting at the end of the isle with Jimmy, Johnny, Zacky and Matt standing to the side. He was wearing a black suit, his hair straightened out. He turned around, and smiled at me. The biggest, happiest smile I think I’ve even seen from him. I looked down on myself, and noticed I was wearing a beautiful strapless white dress. I looked back up again, to see that Matt had tears in his eyes, and that Jimmy was smiling at me like a goof. He then nudged Brian, encouraging him to reach his hand out to me. Once I got closer, I gladly took it, and stepped up to the pastor. Brian held both my hands in his, and whispered many things to be before agreeing to the vows. Once we were allowed, Brian kissed me. There was more passion, more love, more everything than ever before. Our first kiss as Husband and Wife. Married, and now together for life.
I opened my eyes again. The happiness just grew inside me. I couldn’t wait for this wedding. I couldn’t wait any longer. If I could, I’d have this wedding right now. But I know how badly Brian wanted this wedding. I wanted this wedding too. But the waiting was eating away at me, slowly killing me until there was nothing left I could do but marry him.
I laid my hand on his chest, slowly making circles. I didn’t want him to be sleeping right now. I was wide awake and bored. But after the date he just gave me, he deserves to have his sleep. I can only imagine how much hard work he could have put into that.
I quietly—carefully, snook out of the bed, slipping on Brian’s Metallica sweater to cover up my shirtless body. I walked around my room, picking up things off the floor and putting them back where they belong. I picked up Brian’s jeans, noticing how ripped up they really were. There were holes all over the front of the jeans, and little ones in the back pockets. Only Brian wouldn’t care for such things. I sighed, and rolled my eyes while tossing his clothes on the floor beside him so when He woke up tomorrow morning, he wouldn’t have to walk out of here in just his boxers. I picked up a few scrap papers, quickly going over them before deciding if they were trash or not. I picked up a few more articles of clothing, a few pens or pencils, books, and a picture or two, before my whole floor was visible. I smiled to myself, happy that I would now be able to see my floor. It wasn’t ever like this until Brian and I had started sharing a room. He brought all his crap down here, and never took it back upstairs. Not like it would matter anymore since we would be sharing a room together in our own house soon enough.
After I had finished with my room, I found myself sitting down on the bed, right beside Brian. I gazed over him for a few moments wondering just how exactly we got here. A few months ago we never thought dating each other was possible. Now we find ourselves getting married.
“Harm?” Brian mumbled. “Hey, babe, are you okay?” He voice was raspy, and quiet.
I smiled at him and nodded my head. “I’m fine. Can’t sleep.” I whispered.
Brian’s eyes squinted at me, and he propped himself up on his elbows. “Do you want me to stay up with you?”
“No, no. Go back to sleep.” I pulled his head towards mine, gently connecting our lips.
“Okay. Love you.” He said, before falling back onto his pillow.
“Love you too.” In a matter of seconds Brian had fallen back to sleep. I quietly laughed to myself.
He was so cute.
I got up off the bed, and walked around to my side. I laid down, and pulled the covers over myself while I brought my body closer to Brian’s. I hated not falling asleep before him. He would cuddle up to me, wrapping one arm around my torso and keeping me warm. But now, since he’s asleep and I’m not, I have no choice but to cuddle up to him myself. I rested my head on his muscular chest, and threw one arm over his torso. I listened to the steady beat of his heart, finding it more comforting than most things.
Just as I was falling asleep, an annoying sound started coming from my night stand. I figured since 1: it wasn’t my phone and 2: it was so late at night, that I wouldn’t answer it. I’m not going to be one of those snoopy girlfriends. I vowed to myself a while ago that I wouldn’t be like that. If I liked my privacy, I should respect others. Not long after the vibrations ended, an annoying beeping followed.
I tried to let it go, but I couldn’t. Not even over the sound of Brian’s heart. I closed my eyes, and sighed deeply. I rolled over to the other side of the bed, and grabbed the phone off the stand. I then flipped it open. I squinted as the bright light attacked my eyes. I contemplated on just closing it, but when I saw that there were three new messages, and one new voicemail, I found myself going against everything I had just thought. I couldn’t resist the urge to see what was so important.
I pushed the key that opened the messages, and began to read them. I didn’t recognize any of the names, and began to feel bad. So I immediately closed the messages. I did open the voice mail though, and gave that a quick listen too.
“Hey Brian. It’s Amanda. I was thinking about the message you left me the other day, and I really wanted to talk to you about it. You’re not really sleeping now are you? Well, anyways. I gave what you said a thought, and I do miss you. I miss us. I really want to see you again sometime soon. Maybe we can meet up and.....”Talk” about where we stand? Call me back.”
I felt my whole body get stiff. “Talk.” What the hell does that mean? “ Get together and “talk”. I felt my heart begin to race in my chest. What does she mean he called her, and told her he missed her? Who the hell is Amanda?! My breathing became faster, my mind becoming unclear. I opened up the messages again on the phone, and saw that one of them was from Amanda. I opened the message, and gasped loudly at what I saw.
A blonde girl, with big boobs practically naked in her bathroom. I snapped the phone shut, and gripped it tightly in my hand. There was no way this was happening. Not now. Not at what is supposed to be the most happiest time of my life.
I threw the covers off me, not giving two shits if I woke Brian up or not. Right now wasn’t the time for me to care. Right now was the time for me to have all hell break loose. I took the phone, and raised it high above my head. I was about to throw it at the wall, but then realized I needed this. I need to show Jimmy, and I needed to have it to confront Brian.
Until then, all contact towards Brian is cut off. Not until I get shit straight.
♠ ♠ ♠
OH SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT?