Something to Think About

My freshman year, I met this guy in my theater class. Since theater was my elective, anyone of any grade could be in the class. The one senior was Carlo. I didn't know what to think of him at first, I was new and he was the cool, older guy that everyone else tried to flirt with. So I distanced myself and kind of kept my space. But over time as I got to know him, he turned out to be pretty awesome, and soon enough he'd sit next to me in class and ask me how my day was. And yeah, he started dating another freshman in the class but I didn't like him like that. He was just really nice to be around. One of those comforting people who can make a conversation seem effortless. They don't victimize you for saying something odd, they build on it. And I really , really liked that about him. He had this old-timey feel to him because he'd always complain about how he was so old and he was surrounded by a bunch of young people. So we called him Grandpa Carlo.

At some point he was reading this book called Choke. He was talking to Michael and me and he had it in his hand, and we asked him about it. He said it was about a sex addict I think, and he told us that he'd buy us a copy "When you come of age." And for some reason that really stuck with me.

Fast forward to sophomore year. I'm sitting in the back corner by myself because we are in alphabetical order. It's history class and we're coloring maps, and I've got my colored pencils out and I'm scribbling ferociously in green. This chipper, air-headed annoying girl with acrylic nails is sitting across the isle from me, talking to this guy. This droopy eyed guy who dresses dapper in button downs and jackets and somehow makes it look casual. And who am I kidding, I know him. I may not know the girl, but I know him. But he doesn't know me.

He's Carlo's little brother, who's in my grade. And I didn't know he existed until around my freshman year a little after Carlo graduated, but I never saw him around. And now he was in my history class. And now that I see him around, I could really tell that he and Carlo were related because he'd wear the jackets I'd seen Carlo wear the year before. But I didn't point it out, because that'd be weird. He didn't know me.

So I'm sitting, in my own world because my friends are on the other side of the room and I don't want to be that kid that the teacher gets on for traveling across the room just to do my goddamn work, so I keep to myself, kind of zoned out. The girl across the isle asks, "Can I borrow your blue?" which is sitting on the edge of my desk, not being used.

Before I have a chance to reply there's a voice, really close to my ear, almost like it's inside my head, and it says

"Say 'No'."

I freak out a bit and I turn around, and there he is.

Carlo's brother.

And he's laughing and says he was just kidding, and I laugh it off too and give her my blue, saying a cordial "No problem" when she thanks me.

And that was the first time I talked to Marcelo.