Something to Think About
Dear Marisa,
We are very different people, you and I. And I love that, I really do. Our backgrounds are different, we think differently, we talk differently, we feel differently.
My friends are loud, generally positive, obnoxious even, immature, and other things. Your friends are compulsive and exciting, in a live-like-you'll-die-tomorrow sense. I have grown up with my friends for a long time, and I am like them. My friends and I don't know each other very well, but we are united in the idea that we accept each other for what we are. We don't know about each others faults or issues anymore, and we are happy because we don't care. I can't tell you Nathaniel's favourite color, or Connor's favourite hobby, but I can tell you Lauren's favourite color and what Kevin does in his free time. My friends and I are united in our diversity, and we accept you with open arms, too. Laughing and joking is a part of what we do, it's a part of how we thrive. It's been like this forever.
I weight over 30 pounds heavier than you. It's kind of crazy, and it's kind of wonderful. I love food, so much, and I was raised to eat everything on my plate, because food is delicious and it's a blessing. I'm overweight by the book, but that's whatever, doctors can suck it. But the thing is, my body doesn't bother me much. Well yeah, I'll suck in the tum tum and I'll sit on a stationary bike, and I know that I could lose 20 pounds in a month if I really wanted to. But my body is my body, if I lose weight I lose weight, if I gain weight I gain weight. I can eat healthier, I can exercise more, but in the end I don't care much as long as I'm happy. Today I had salmon and chicken and cucumbers for dinner. And I didn't eat much, because I don't really like store-bought chicken all that much, I enjoy my mother's cooking much more. But I ate some ice cream to make myself happy. And that is how I work. Happiness, happiness happiness. I would give the world just to be content with life. If being skinny makes you happy, so be it. But I want you to be safe and healthy, because, as I have said, I want you to be around forever.
My self-image is kind of over-the-top. God, I'm not very attractive, and that's whatever, but I tell myself "Hey, you look good today." or "No make-up is alright, as long as you open your eyes a bit more and put on some chapstick." I even enjoy my face sometimes, although I wouldn't dare show it on my blog like most people do, posting pictures of their face everywhere, gifs of them blinking with heavy make-up on, shirtless guys flexing their biceps. I do it to remain anonymous to people who don't know me, because I don't want them to know me for my face, whether they will like me more for my face or unfollow me because I'm too normal for them. My face is for facebook, for people I talk to in real life who see me on a daily basis, so they know I don't look absolutely horrific all the time. I used to wear make-up all the time, and dress in cool clothes because I wanted people to think I'm different, I wanted to be an eyesore. But once I got to highschool I started doing things for me. Five-minute morning routine, throw on some sweats, sometimes not even brushing out my hair. My style is care-free, I'm at school for the learning, not to impress people. If they're not already impressed by my personality, they can suck my dick. I can be very arrogant.
Well anyways, I also wanted to tell you that I think you're beautiful. And if you don't believe me, that's okay, but I really hope that someday you do. I look at you every day, and I always wonder how it works to be as pretty as you, what it's like for people to double-take when they see you. I'm proud to be seen with you, because god, you're gorgeous and hilarious, and well, I enjoy being associated with beautiful people. I have my share of friends who are extremely good looking, my friend does make-up like a pro, my other friend is a model, turning down campaigns for Hermes and walking for Alexander Wang. You do everything. And it's amazing. You're a wonder to me, Marisa, and if no one else tells you so, let me do it because I like to be genuine every once in a while so I don't seem like such a jackass. Men can go suck it, because you are too perfect and too good for any of them.
That's all for now.
Love,
Me.
My friends are loud, generally positive, obnoxious even, immature, and other things. Your friends are compulsive and exciting, in a live-like-you'll-die-tomorrow sense. I have grown up with my friends for a long time, and I am like them. My friends and I don't know each other very well, but we are united in the idea that we accept each other for what we are. We don't know about each others faults or issues anymore, and we are happy because we don't care. I can't tell you Nathaniel's favourite color, or Connor's favourite hobby, but I can tell you Lauren's favourite color and what Kevin does in his free time. My friends and I are united in our diversity, and we accept you with open arms, too. Laughing and joking is a part of what we do, it's a part of how we thrive. It's been like this forever.
I weight over 30 pounds heavier than you. It's kind of crazy, and it's kind of wonderful. I love food, so much, and I was raised to eat everything on my plate, because food is delicious and it's a blessing. I'm overweight by the book, but that's whatever, doctors can suck it. But the thing is, my body doesn't bother me much. Well yeah, I'll suck in the tum tum and I'll sit on a stationary bike, and I know that I could lose 20 pounds in a month if I really wanted to. But my body is my body, if I lose weight I lose weight, if I gain weight I gain weight. I can eat healthier, I can exercise more, but in the end I don't care much as long as I'm happy. Today I had salmon and chicken and cucumbers for dinner. And I didn't eat much, because I don't really like store-bought chicken all that much, I enjoy my mother's cooking much more. But I ate some ice cream to make myself happy. And that is how I work. Happiness, happiness happiness. I would give the world just to be content with life. If being skinny makes you happy, so be it. But I want you to be safe and healthy, because, as I have said, I want you to be around forever.
My self-image is kind of over-the-top. God, I'm not very attractive, and that's whatever, but I tell myself "Hey, you look good today." or "No make-up is alright, as long as you open your eyes a bit more and put on some chapstick." I even enjoy my face sometimes, although I wouldn't dare show it on my blog like most people do, posting pictures of their face everywhere, gifs of them blinking with heavy make-up on, shirtless guys flexing their biceps. I do it to remain anonymous to people who don't know me, because I don't want them to know me for my face, whether they will like me more for my face or unfollow me because I'm too normal for them. My face is for facebook, for people I talk to in real life who see me on a daily basis, so they know I don't look absolutely horrific all the time. I used to wear make-up all the time, and dress in cool clothes because I wanted people to think I'm different, I wanted to be an eyesore. But once I got to highschool I started doing things for me. Five-minute morning routine, throw on some sweats, sometimes not even brushing out my hair. My style is care-free, I'm at school for the learning, not to impress people. If they're not already impressed by my personality, they can suck my dick. I can be very arrogant.
Well anyways, I also wanted to tell you that I think you're beautiful. And if you don't believe me, that's okay, but I really hope that someday you do. I look at you every day, and I always wonder how it works to be as pretty as you, what it's like for people to double-take when they see you. I'm proud to be seen with you, because god, you're gorgeous and hilarious, and well, I enjoy being associated with beautiful people. I have my share of friends who are extremely good looking, my friend does make-up like a pro, my other friend is a model, turning down campaigns for Hermes and walking for Alexander Wang. You do everything. And it's amazing. You're a wonder to me, Marisa, and if no one else tells you so, let me do it because I like to be genuine every once in a while so I don't seem like such a jackass. Men can go suck it, because you are too perfect and too good for any of them.
That's all for now.
Love,
Me.
♠ ♠ ♠
And you've got nervebut we've got time to
going back to the city hurt
It's how I was, it's how I tried
I was sixteen for the night