Nothing Is Ever Simple

AMELIA

The next morning Amelia awoke on the sofa in Johnny’s arms. She was a little surprised as she could not remember how she got there but she did not complain and neither did he apparently.

“Morning.” Johnny laughed, running a hand through his tousled brown hair.

“Morning.” Amelia replied softly. “I guess we drank more than we thought.”

“Yeah, I slept pretty deep.” Johnny agreed as they sat up and stretched.

“I’m gonna wake Brandon and take a shower.” She smiled and got to her feet.

Brandon was still fast asleep in the big guest bed when Amelia made her way upstairs. He was exhausted from the long plane journey but she knew that he would not sleep that night if she didn’t wake him now. After struggling with him for a few minutes, Brandon was finally out of bed and asking to see Madison. It wasn’t going to be difficult to keep him entertained in LA if Johnny’s daughter was around, Amelia mused.

Amelia decided to spend the remaining days of December getting to know Madison and simultaneously wrestle with her feelings for Johnny. It had been easier than she thought as when she returned to the kitchen for breakfast and coffee there was no awkwardness between them and despite their playful flirtations that morning and the night before she was glad he had not yet mentioned the email. She realised she would have to explain herself eventually but she was still only just coming to terms with the truth herself. She did not want to admit everything to Johnny until she was sure of what she wanted. She was hoping for a chance to speak to Steve at the party. While he was not as close to Johnny as Jeff, he would still probably have some idea of how Johnny was feeling and perhaps that would help her make a decision.

Amelia was determined not to spend her time in LA moping around. That afternoon she busied herself in the kitchen, preparing a meal for Johnny and Madison for that evening while they had taken Brandon to the park. She suspected that Johnny rarely cooked for himself as the kitchen was in pristine condition. She wanted to make some kind of gesture of thanks to them for letting her and Brandon stay.

She was just about to fry the chicken when her phone began ringing, making her jump. Since leaving Westchester she had been reluctant to have her phone around. She had received several calls and texts from home over the night, though none of them from her husband and she had chosen to ignore them, only texting April to let her know she was safe.

Amelia was relieved and also worried when she saw her sister’s name flash up on caller id. Rise would be in Westchester by now and would no doubt have news of Bam’s reaction to Amelia’s departure. She bit her lip anxiously and took the call.

“Hey Rose.”

“Hi Meels.” Rose sang down the phone, her usual cheery self. “I promised to ring when I got here so, hey. How are you? “

“I’m fine thanks, you? How was the flight?”

“Come on Amelia, enough with the small talk. Let’s get to the point. Have you thought anymore about what you’re going to do?”

Amelia sighed. “I’ve thought about nothing else since we last spoke and I still don’t know.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say. It doesn’t help that I’ve been the other side of the world this whole time so it’s all kind of out of the blue for me.”

“The whole thing is out of the blue Rose. I think I’ve had these feelings for a long time but I’ve never really confronted them before.”

“I still can’t get over the fact that you and Knoxville kissed twice and you never told me.” Rose scolded down the phone.

“I didn’t want to face up to it.” Amelia sighed, wishing her sister would drop that particular subject.

“And now?” Rose pressed on.

“And now I don’t know.”

“Well, it’s weird being here without you. Ryan’s worried about Bam.” Rose told her gently.

“Why?” Amelia asked anxiously, wondering what he had done now.

“He’s not reacted to you leaving at all. He’s either in denial or he really just thinks you’re visiting mum and dad and doesn’t realise how much he’s upset you.”

Amelia did not say anything. So Bam could not accept the fact that he had hurt her. She wasn’t sure if it was worse than him being angry with her for leaving.

“If you want my advice Amelia, I’d stay in LA and sort your head out, at least until Bam’s sorted his own head out anyway. He needs to realise what he’s got to lose. If he can’t see it then, well, maybe that will tell you all you need to know.”

“But what if he doesn’t realise? What if he doesn’t care?”

“That’s what I mean. At least you’ll know and you can decide what to do. Amelia, do you want me to catch a flight over to LA? Or we could both go back home?” Amelia could hear the worry in her sister’s voice. Rose had always been the stronger of the two sisters despite being younger. She had always looked out for Amelia.

“No Rose. Stay with Ryan. I want you to have a good time. Johnny’s taking good care of us here.”

“Ok sis, as long as you’re sure. Shall I keep you updated on Bam or?”

“No thanks. He can text me if he feels the need to talk. I’m gonna do my best to have a good time.”

Amelia and Rose hung up but before Amelia could stew over the news about Bam, Johnny and Madison returned hand in hand with Brandon. Amelia realised she was crying and hastily wiped her eyes, thankful that she could blame her tears on the innocent onion lying on the chopping board.

“Something smells good.” Johnny grinned as Amelia bent down to hug Brandon.

“It’s nothing special.” She waved him off casually as he took off his shades and put the car keys down on the table. “Did you guys have fun at the park?”

“Yes!” Brandon exclaimed, waving his arms about in excitement. “We went on the slide and the swings and the see saw!”

“Wow!” Amelia smiled at her son’s happiness. He had always been a fairly quiet toddler but now he was chattering away about their time at the park.

“I bet Johnny went on the swings with you didn’t he.” Amelia grinned, catching Johnny’s eye and winking and Brandon nodded furiously, proceeding to describe their time at the park. Although she was smiling and genuinely happy that Brandon had been having a good time, Amelia felt her stomach somersault in that horrible way it had been growing accustomed to. Bam never spent much time with his son and when he did, Brandon was never as excited about it as he seemed right now.

“Come on Mads. Why don’t you and Brandon go and get cleaned up for dinner.” Johnny turned to his daughter.

Madison didn’t need telling twice and led Brandon upstairs while their parents talked. Amelia continued to smile at Johnny and her stomach acrobatics subsided until she had forgotten why she had felt so bad.

“And how are you this afternoon?” Johnny grinned goofily, hoisting himself up on to the counter and watching her intently.

“I’m feeling…ok I guess.” She replied as honestly as she could.

“But you were crying?”He stared at her. Damn it, Johnny did not miss a beat.

“I just got off the phone with Rose.”

“Oh.” He replied, understanding that she must have heard from Bam.

Amelia summed up the phone call whilst missing out the parts about her feelings for him and felt incredibly relieved when Johnny jumped back down from the counter to take her in his arms. They stood embraced in each other’s arms for a while and Amelia buried her head on his shoulder, breathing in his intoxicating aroma of aftershave and mint.

“I can’t believe he’s acting as if nothing has happened. He’ll realise what he’s got to lose sooner or later and if he doesn’t then he doesn’t deserve you Amelia.” Johnny said quietly into his hair, repeating what Rose had said to her not long ago.

All Amelia could do was nod and wonder if he was right.

That night Amelia could not sleep. Dinner had been a success and she had chance to bond with Madison as they cleared the dishes. Johnny was lucky to have such a beautiful and intelligent daughter. Amelia opened her eyes and stared at her own son who was now sleeping peacefully beside her. Despite the upheaval and the break in routine, he had coped with their trip to LA incredibly well and over the course of the day had grown even more attached to Madison.

She wondered how he would react when they returned to Westchester but the thought of going back any time soon filled her with dread. That town held so many memories of working on the show for her, all of which Bam was trying to ensure would never be replaced with new ones and it made her feel sick to her stomach that the man she loved would do something like that to her. But Bam was not the only man she loved. She realised she had started crying and tried to stay quiet to avoid waking Brandon but it was difficult. She felt so lost and all of a sudden she wished she had gone to England as she had planned. At least she would have been able to avoid having to deal with these feelings.

Desperate not to wake Brandon, she climbed out of bed and kissed him softly on the head before tiptoeing out of the door. Lying there and mulling over the millions of thoughts in her head was not going to help her sleep so she gave up. She was just about to make her way downstairs for a drink when she found herself standing in front of Johnny’s bedroom door. She paused, trying to work out why she was standing here. Putting common sense and reasoning to one side as she often tended to, Amelia pushed open his door as quietly as she could and padded inside. She saw the bed and Johnny’s sleeping form under the covers and made her way over. She could not fight the overwhelming urge to be beside him and slid under the covers next to him, ignoring the part of her brain that was telling her it was a bad idea.

She could feel the immense heat radiating from his body and he rolled over onto his back as she shuffled closer. He was wearing only boxer shorts and she watched him warily but he did not open so much as an eye as he stretched out an arm so that she could lie as close to him as possible. Amelia placed her head gently on Johnny’s shoulder and turned her body to face him as she put a soft hand on his chest and closed her eyes.