Make It out Alive

"Hotch, I knew you'd understand," Spencer said, hugging Hotch as he stumbled. He gave JJ a small hug and turned to me. His eyes were wide with terror and his wounds looked bad, but he was still my Spencer, my closest friend in Virginia and boyfriend.

"Spence," I whispered, taking a step toward him and wrapping my arms around his middle. He was solid, he was real. For the most part, he was safe.

"Polly," he whimpered. "I was so scared."

"I know, Spence, I know. I was too," I whispered, not letting go of him. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

"Can I have a minute with-" he motioned to Tobias' body. I nodded, smiling sadly. I turned away, giving him privacy.

He stumbled back to me moments later, and I took his hand, feeling how clammy and cold they were. I unzipped the sweatshirt I had been wearing and put it around him. He protested weakly, but I shushed him. I pressed against him as best I could, sharing my body heat with his cold, shaking frame.

*****

Spencer had just gotten out of the hospital, and although he was still skiddish, he was physically healthy. Hotch had given him a month leave to collect himself. He had come over to my house, and we were sitting next to each other on the couch, not speaking. He watched me as I stared at the wall.

"I'm going back to Vegas for the month leave I have," he said into the silence.

I nodded, not looking at him. "Polly, you know I care about you, right?" I nodded again, a sense of dread clawing at my stomach.

"I need time," he said. "Away from everything." I blinked. "This isn't goodbye, it's just a break," he explained.

"I understand," I said, feeling robotic.

"I knew you would," he said, standing. He kissed the top of my head and walked out.

As I heard the front door close, I started to cry.