Make It out Alive

With the money Mom had left me, I bought a small two door car, a used green Ford something. After making my purchase, I drove home, parking outside my house and going inside.

I needed the day to just rest. I needed to prepare for the mental strain of going back to work. Not just going back to work, but seeing Spencer again. Through his entire month of leave, we had no contact, nothing at all. I didn't know if it was a relief or another reason to feel abandoned.

I drew a bath, and surrounding by hot water and bubbles, I sobbed. After my eyes ran dry, I emptied the cool water and replaced it with hot again.

I closed my eyes and just sat back, relaxing, staying calm. When the water went cold again, I drained the tub and got out, toweling off and going into my room.

I saw the picture of Spencer and I on the nightstand. It was from the football party. I had jumped on his back and kissed his face while JJ snapped a picture of it. Spence laughed, reaching back to hold onto me. Derek taunted us about being like a couple in a movie, but I stuck my tongue out in reply. I sighed and laid the picture frame down, the picture facing the wood. I didn't want to face past happiness at the moment.

I got in bed and reveled in the warmth of it. A warm bed made things simpler. It took away the pain of somethings, and for that I was grateful. Instead of laying awake, I fell right to sleep, for the first time in weeks.