Status: Posting
Make It out Alive
Ain't No Rest
Garcia and JJ had come over after I called Garcia crying, telling her what had happened.
When I opened the door for them, I was wearing the same clothes I had worn the night before, my makeup gone, my hair knotted, eyes red and puffy. Immediately Garcia wrapped me in her arms, and a fresh batch of tears flew to my eyes. If Spencer had been there, he'd probably tell me exactly how long it took for the body to produce tears. The thought only made me sob harder.
JJ bustled around my kitchen, making tea as Garcia continued to hold me as I cried on the couch that smelled like him from all the nights he would fall asleep when we would watch a movie. I accepted the mug and held it in my shaking hands.
"It isn't your fault, suga," Garcia chided.
"Yes it is," I moaned pathetically. Suddenly I felt very angry, with myself, with my father, with every time Calvetin laid a hand on me, making it impossible for me to be a normal person. "IT'S MY FUCKED UP PAST THAT WON'T LET ME HAVE A FUTURE," I yelled. After my outburst, I shook, crying again. "I can't even tell him..."
"Tell him what?" JJ asked, sitting on my other side.
"Tell him that I love him, or tell him that I do desire him," I whispered. To myself I thought, ain't no rest for the wicked.
*****
Derek sat beside a slightly shellshocked Reid in the kitchen of the younger man's condo. The two men were sipping coffee and speaking very little.
"Reid, it's not your fault," Derek said into the silence.
In reply, Spencer sighed and took another sip of coffee. "It isn't your fault, Reid," Morgan repeated, stronger this time, looking at him sternly.
"Yes, it is," Spencer said with another sigh.
"How?" Morgan pressed.
Reid shrugged his shoulders, not meeting his best friend's eye.
"How could it be your fault, kid?"
"I know her past, I know she needs to take relationships slowly. I went too fast for her," Spencer said, exhaling heavily.
"You can't be held responsible for that, Reid," Derek leveled.
"DEREK, YES, IT IS MY FAULT! I DON'T KNOW HOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT SOMEHOW, I FEEL LIKE IT IS MY FAULT," Spencer shouted. After his outcry, he muttered something.
"What was that last bit?"
"I can't even tell her that I love her, and that I could never hurt her like that monster did," Spencer said, speaking directly to his coffee. To himself, he thought, ain't no rest for the wicked.
When I opened the door for them, I was wearing the same clothes I had worn the night before, my makeup gone, my hair knotted, eyes red and puffy. Immediately Garcia wrapped me in her arms, and a fresh batch of tears flew to my eyes. If Spencer had been there, he'd probably tell me exactly how long it took for the body to produce tears. The thought only made me sob harder.
JJ bustled around my kitchen, making tea as Garcia continued to hold me as I cried on the couch that smelled like him from all the nights he would fall asleep when we would watch a movie. I accepted the mug and held it in my shaking hands.
"It isn't your fault, suga," Garcia chided.
"Yes it is," I moaned pathetically. Suddenly I felt very angry, with myself, with my father, with every time Calvetin laid a hand on me, making it impossible for me to be a normal person. "IT'S MY FUCKED UP PAST THAT WON'T LET ME HAVE A FUTURE," I yelled. After my outburst, I shook, crying again. "I can't even tell him..."
"Tell him what?" JJ asked, sitting on my other side.
"Tell him that I love him, or tell him that I do desire him," I whispered. To myself I thought, ain't no rest for the wicked.
*****
Derek sat beside a slightly shellshocked Reid in the kitchen of the younger man's condo. The two men were sipping coffee and speaking very little.
"Reid, it's not your fault," Derek said into the silence.
In reply, Spencer sighed and took another sip of coffee. "It isn't your fault, Reid," Morgan repeated, stronger this time, looking at him sternly.
"Yes, it is," Spencer said with another sigh.
"How?" Morgan pressed.
Reid shrugged his shoulders, not meeting his best friend's eye.
"How could it be your fault, kid?"
"I know her past, I know she needs to take relationships slowly. I went too fast for her," Spencer said, exhaling heavily.
"You can't be held responsible for that, Reid," Derek leveled.
"DEREK, YES, IT IS MY FAULT! I DON'T KNOW HOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT SOMEHOW, I FEEL LIKE IT IS MY FAULT," Spencer shouted. After his outcry, he muttered something.
"What was that last bit?"
"I can't even tell her that I love her, and that I could never hurt her like that monster did," Spencer said, speaking directly to his coffee. To himself, he thought, ain't no rest for the wicked.
♠ ♠ ♠
I really hate changing point of views, particularly mid-chapter, but hey, sue me, I did it anyway.Goodness, I'm so glad you've all taken a shine to this little story of mine!
Tell me what you're thinking about this!