Make It out Alive

I felt vaguely aware, and all I could feel was the IV drip in my arm and pain. I opened my eyes, and was blind by all the light. I saw faces all around me. Spencer, Garcia, JJ and Derek were immediately around my bed, Hotch, Sam and Cassandra were sitting behind them.

"Polly, you're awake!" Spencer exclaimed.

"If you could call it that," I said hoarsely. "What happend?"

"You were hit by a piece of glass, a huge piece, it went between your ribs, cut off a bit of your lung, and nearly impaled you," Derek explained.

"How long have I been out?" I said, lifting a bandaged hand.

"About a week," Spencer answered.

My mouth fell open. "My God, I- Shortcake!"

Derek chuckled. "Don't worry, little girl, Garcia has made Shortcake into a spoiled little princess."

"Thank you," I said gratefully. Shortcake was my baby, she needed constant care. "Grimson was our UnSub. He, well, he went out with a bang."

Hotch smiled. An actual smile, with teeth. It lit his face up, and made him look like a college kid.

Sam and Cassandra excused themselves, leaving the team and I alone.

"You scared us, kid," Derek said.

"Sorry about that," I apologized.

"How do you feel right now?" JJ asked.

"I hurt," I confessed.
"I'll get a nurse," Garcia volunteered, ducking out.

"I'm afraid I have to get going," Hotch said. He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Be good, Polly, don't cause any problems for the nurses."

I raised a hand in a mock salute, my mouth pulling up at the corners. "Yes, captain!" For the second time, Hotch smiled and left.

"Sorry, doll, but Garcia and I need to get going," Derek said. He kissed my forehead.

"Don't get sentimental on me, Derek. By the way, this in no way includes any part of my prize for beating you at karaoke," I said with a grin.

"Fiesty," he laughed. He also left the room. JJ smiled at me.

"You sure there's nothing I can get for you?" She asked.

"How about the clearance to go back to work?" I asked, half joking.

"Let's just get you walking first," she encouraged. She gave me a gentle hug and left.

"Why is everyone treating me like I'm so fragile?" I complained.

"I think that comes with the territory of nearly dying," Spencer shrugged, sitting on the edge of my bed.

We sat in silence for a moment while I let that set in. "You saved my life, Spence. Thank you."

He chortled. "You act like I had a choice."

"When I was talking to Charlie, he said something," I said, trailing off for a moment.

"What did he say?" Spencer prompted.

"Said you were desperate to find a way inside," I answered, not giving the whole truth.

"I was," he responded, nodding.

"Spencer, I'm sorry," I whispered.

"We can worry about that later, for now, let's just be glad you're okay," he shushed me.

"I can't. I'm not okay, Spence. I can't be okay knowing how we are," I replied.

"We're just fine, Polly, we're just fine," he told me.

"No, we're not. Spence, I'm scared. My father's blood is in my veins," I whispered.

"You're not him, Polly. And neither am I. Polly, I'm scared too. These things I'm feeling, I don't know what they are. I've read about them, seen men kill over them, seen people be exceptionally happy and people depressed. I don't know what this stuff is. I'm not sure about any of this except for one thing. I've read every definition in the world for this word. I've read every book about it, I've asked countless people, and I'm sure about it. I love you, Polly."

"Spence," I breathed. "I'm not a normal person. I have scars deeper than anyone could know."

"Who doesn't?" Spencer asked.

"I run from things that might hurt into things that will hurt," I told him.

"Then run to me, and know that it won't hurt," he implored.

"I never told you that secret I was going to tell you on Christmas eve," I said.

"No, you didn't," he replied.

"I guess it's not really a secret, but, I love you, Spence."

He smiled, and leaned over me carefully, pressing his lips to mine without much force.