Winter Infatuation

The neighborhood was calm in the evening light, lawns on every block furnished with a snowman or lighted deer, the beautiful homes the lawns belonged to adorned in every decoration imaginable. Wreaths hung with large red bows, and icicles reflected the light thrown from strings of lights hung from each awning. It was a picture perfect neighborhood, the one I used to call home for eighteen years. It was that classic slice of suburbia, all the children were well behaved, and the mothers were soccer moms of PTA presidents. The fathers fell into similar patterns, holding down well to do jobs, playing with their kids when they got home from work.

My breath puffed in front of me in thick clouds and disappeared with a gentle gust of wind. I stared up at the home where so many memories good and bad were made, nervous for the first time in my life to go in. Scuffing my boots along the icy sidewalk, I hoped that I would slip and fall, causing me enough injury that I would have an excuse to not go back home. Sighing softly, I stood at the end of the walk bracing myself for each inquiry. A warm hand slipped into mine squeezing softly. Turning my head to Darren, I looked up at him and gave him a weak smile.

“Ready?”

Nodding, I took a leading step up the front walk. “Yeah. Sooner we get this done, the sooner we can hide out above the garage.”

Darren laughed “Isn’t that where you held all your parties in high school? I remember I had my first kiss in your closet. I almost impaled myself on your sticks.”

Shaking my head, I bit back my laugh. Leave it to Darren to only remember that I had a ton of sticks in my closet when he had his first kiss. Not that he had kissed the then most popular girl in school, Missy. “Do you even remember who you kissed that night?” I dropped Darren’s hand and rang the doorbell.

“No, I don’t, but I remember who you kissed.”

How could he remember something like that? That was over ten years ago. I don’t think many people remember their first kiss. Anymore it’s something that’s thrown away, girls because they ache to be wanted and boys, simply because they wanted to take or just to get the whole thing over with. “Who’d I-“ But I couldn’t even finish my question before I Was yanked into a big body, shrieks of hello and oh my god ringing in my ears. My Aunt Gertie dragged me into the house to hug me, and as soon as she let me go, I was pulled into another set of arms.

Turning my head to avoid a sloppy kiss from Great Grandma, I noticed Darren being smushed in Aunt Gertie’s arms. “Oh my god. He’s not even going to make it to dinner!” Squirming out of Great Grandma’s arms, I rushed over to rescues Darren. Linking my arm through his when I finally freed him from her tentacle like grip, I pulled Darren to the living room.

I could tell I was the last family member to arrive. I recognized all my cousins and aunts and uncles, each dressed in a traditional ugly Christmas sweater. They were not getting me in one of those this year. Conversations all blended into one, the slurred words turning into one obnoxious dull roar. “Okay guys, I want you all to meet someone.” And just like that all attention was on Darren and I. The only sound was ghostly Christmas music that flitted around my family. They stared at me doe-eyed, waiting for my announcement.

Someone finally cleared their throat, jolting me into action. “Guys, this is Darren, Darren this is everyone.” Darren gave a nervous wave before moving our linked arms so he had his arm around my waist. Holding onto me tightly, I gave a big grin to my family. Conversation picked back up, and I led Darren away to a corner of the room. “Don’t make eye contact with anyone. I’ll be back with drinks.”
The kitchen was filled with every type of alcohol imaginable; I grabbed a bottle of Jack and two glasses, almost dropping the bottle when I got back to the living room. Darren was surrounded by various members of my family. All of them talking at once.

“You better not hurt her!”

“How long you two been dating?”

“You two are sooooo cute together. I am soooo jealous she has a guy like you.”

“How’d ya get rid of the other one? We thought they were getting married.”

“Hurt her and it’ll be the last thing you do boy.”

I put my head in my hand with the bottle of Jack. He had made eye contact with someone. They had descended like vultures on a fresh carcass, and they wouldn’t stop till they had picked the two of us clean of our thoughts, intentions and feelings. Pushing through without an excuse me, I plopped down next to Darren. “Jeeze guys. No wonder Joe’s not around anymore; you guys scared him away.” I pressed a kiss against Darren’s cheek, staring at my family till they went back to their posts.

“so who’d you make eye contact with?”

Darren slapped his hand on his knee, taking a sip of Jack before talking. “No one! I swear. As soon as you left they attacked! I thought Aunt Gertie was going to hug me again! Please don’t leave me alone with them. They frighten me.”

I grabbed his hand, squeezing tight. “Alright. I promise I won’t leave you alone. I owe you big for doing this for me—the least I can do is over you protection.”

It didn’t take too long for me to be called upon to help out in the kitchen. I don’t see why they insisted on having me help. I was a terrible cook, and I would just get in the way. Unless of course they needed me to peel potatoes but, then again, I didn’t do so hot with sharp objects. Grabbing Darren’s hand lightly, I pulled him along with me. In the hall, Aunt Gertie and her kids were leaving, clogging the small space, little head of red blonde and dark hair bouncing and milling around their mother and father as they tried to free their coats from the closet without burying themselves in the rest of the coats and scarves shoved into the closet.

I leaned up against the doorway, watching my Aunt Gertie lovingly bundle each of her children up, punctuating the motions with a kiss to the nose. Darren leaned with me, his arm still slung around my hips. Aunt Gertie smiled at us, leaning in to kiss my cheek goodbye as my Uncle George helped her with her coat. “You two have a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year. Oh. Dear. You’ve been standing under the mistletoe for the past five minutes. You have to kiss or you’ll have extremely rotten luck for a very long time.”

Darren’s fingertips jolted against my hip. This had not been in our original plan. I coughed to keep my surprise down. “Aunt Gertie, I’m not big on PDA.” My oh so loving aunt gave me that signature Wilson family smirk before patting my hand and raising her voice so the whole family could hear. “Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!”

It wasn’t long before the entire family was chanting, turning both Darren’s and my own face beet red. Gnawing hard on my lip, I let Darren spin me to face him. “Well, I guess we should give them what they want.” He whispered softly. I could only nod, words escaping me whether from embarrassment or something else I didn’t know. Staring at the mistletoe, my eyes fluttered shut as our lips connected. I didn’t expect too much, but Darren’s lips had ignited like fire against mine, his hands pulling me even closer. My heart slammed in my chest torn between telling me to stop and to beg for more. This was not a kiss shared between friends. No this kiss was something more, much more, comprised of something I had been afraid of giving to Joe, but with Darren came as effortless as his skating. Clinging to him tighter, I begged for the moment to last, but more urgent needs decided they needed to come first.

Catcalls and whistles rushed to greet us as we parted. Darren looked down at me, taking two long gulps of air. Trying to regulate my own breathing, I tried to find words that could explain what happened. “Now that’s what I call a kiss!” My (drunk) cousin Ryan slapped Darren on the back. “Now that’s what I call a kiss! Damn guys. I swore you two were gunna-“

I cut Ryan off, already know what he was about to say. “I-uh better go help my Mom out..” Darren nodded, seeming to almost regret loosening his grip. He went to follow me but my cousin threw his arm around Darren’s shoulders leading him off to have a typical man to man chat. Sighing, I tugged the hem of my sweater down, my thoughts on anything but helping out in the kitchen. They were on Darren and how right his lips felt against mine, how they made me feel.

-_-_-_-_-

It was dark by time my family left and everything ws cleaned up to my Mother’s impossibly high standards. Straightening myself out, I grabbed the bottles of alcohol off the counter, stowing them underneath, back in the same order I had memorized since I was 16. You didn’t mess with the way Dad put his alcohol away. “Amy. I hope you and Darren don’t plan on driving home tonight. You’re drunk, and I had the guest house cleaned and decorated specifically for you to be able to use it.” Of course. Don’t wanna let Mom lose any money.

“Of course not mom. Wouldn’t think of letting you lose any money. I’ll see you in the morning. Breakfast in here or in the guest house?”

“I arranged breakfast for you two there. I’m sure you’d enjoy a little privacy.”

My face lit up white hot, denial on the tip of my tongue. Taking a deep breath though, I gave her a nod and sauntered into the hall where Darren was waiting with my coat. “You okay? You look pissed off.”

“Typical parent shit.” Darren nodded, weaving his arm around my waist before we set out into the chilly night. The harsh wind bit down into my bones, and I curled against Darren’s side, tucking my face close to his chest. His grip tightened, pulling me even closer to him. “Darren, we can stop pretending you know.” Darren shook his head, pulling the door to the small guest house open. Inside, the entire place was decorated to the max, a fat Christmas tree stuffed in one corner, the top of the lighted star poking the ceiling. Big red bows and candy canes seemed to coat every available space. “No. we can’t.” The door closed gently behind him and in one fluid movement, I was wrapped in his arms, forced to take in the flannel shirt stretched tight across his chest or lock onto the crystal orbs I could feel boring into me. I opted for staring into his chest. “Why do you say that?”

“Amy, you know friends don’t kiss like that, if even for show. I don’t see how you couldn’t feel what I felt... reacted how I did. I know you Amy—almost better than I know myself. I want to get to know you in another way. I need you to want to get to know me in the same way.”

Looking up at him, I meant to deny it, try to say it wasn’t true. But all that came out was “Oh look. Mistletoe.” Darren’s lips were pressed against mine, the familiar fire igniting up in m again, spreading from my toes all the way to the tips of my fingers. Pressing close to him, I let my fingers fly up to tug at his hair, gasping as his icy fingers snuck under the hem of my sweater, running up my back once. His lips moved down my neck, sucking gently. Small trembles racked my body, a thick fog settling over my head. “I told you.” He whispered against my lips.

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

Darren grinned as he pressed his lips to mine, drawing me so close I almost couldn’t tell who was who. We sunk to the floor, hands and fingers gripping and tugging at unneeded clothes, the sensation of bare skin rubbing against each other sending out motions to amore frantic level, each trying to please the other more. Darren flipped so I was under him, our chests heaving slightly. Darren traced my hip lightly, staring down at me. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to be here with you. Making your heart beat as fast as you make mine.” His fingers left my hips to link with mine, drawing them to his lips. I tried to speak, but Darren placed a soft kiss to my lips, as if I talked, the moment would fracture and what we were slowly becoming would be a lie.

When our bodies finally connected, my fingers sank into his back, holding on like he was the only thing keeping me here. There was truth in that too, for the longest time, Darren was the only thing that did keep alive, ready to take on another day and say fuck you to those who screwed me over. Connected palm to palm, chest to chest and hips to hip, there wasn’t any other way I would have us. I wanted this to last forever.

Darren and I finished together, kissing each other like we’d never do that again. Lying next to each other, we stared up at the ceiling. “See why slush is so awesome now Amy? I’m pretty sure I love you, and that you love me too. I’m game for working it out if you are.” Grabbing his hand back, all I could do was nod.