What Gets You Through The Night.

"Call me?" The blonde girl asked, her hair a mess from our recent encounter.

"Um, yeah. Of course, love." I said flashing a smile as I threw on my shirt.

She and I both knew that wouldn't happen, but if she wasn't going to question it I wasn't going to say anything more than what was needed.

I said goodbye as I left the small apartment and leaned against the wall as I pulled out a cigarette.

I had long ago, passed the feeling of feeling guilty. It didn't phase me anymore. Which maybe was unholy or what not, but why did it matter? I was positive I was going to hell anyways, that is, if there is one.

I texted Oli to ask if he would pick me up. I knew if I asked Jona he would bitch at me telling me how screwed up I was and Matty wasn't becoming any better.

Luckily, Oli lived only 5 minutes from where I was and as he pulled up I threw my cigarrette down, stepping on it quickly before I hopped into the car.

He chuckled and I rolled my eyes, "Please, don't say anyfing."

"Mate, yeh know I don't care what yeh do, I juss hope yeh bein' smart."

"Oli, I'm not a bloody teenager. Yes, I am. I'm not stupid."

"Well, not completely I guess..."

I sighed and stared out the window aimlessly. Sadly, I had already pushed it to the back of my mind.

"Don't forget we're havin' Nick's party at two, can I count on yeh ta arrive soba?" Oli asked once we parked in front of my house.

"Yeah." I grumbled before hopping out of the car. It was only 8 in the morning, who did he think I was?

"Yeh welcome!" He called out of his window and I waved my hand as I continued to the door.

"Yeh goin' ta Nick's birfday party right?" I asked Matt who was sitting on the couch.

It was strange for us to live together. He was complete opposite of me. Mellow, quiet, put together. Then again, maybe that's why it worked.

He nodded not taking his eyes from his laptop.

"Suck it up. It'll be fine. All of us will be there."

"Yeah..." I mumbled heading to my room.

It wasn't that I hated children. If anything the kid was actually pretty cool, it just wasn't my thing. The attention I'd get for even showing affection would be worse than me pretending to dread a birthday party.

I quickly showered and changed into fresh clothes although neither helped with my thoughts. I hated feeling like this. It wasn't often that I felt regret, but when I did it hit hard.

I didn't regret sleeping with the girl. She knew what she was getting herself into, but I sometimes found myself wondering how different those nights would have turned out if I, for once, tried to get to know one of those strangers.

Then again, that might be what frightened me about it. Getting to know someone made you vulnerable, put you out there for them to critize later. I don't think I was ready for that.

"Did we buy this kid a present?" I asked Matt as I reached the living room once more.

"Yes. Yeh got him some car fing. Good goin' uncle Lee." Matt said and I rolled my eyes, "I didn't tell yeh to get anyfing."

"Yeh were expectin' it though, huh?" He said finally shifting his eyes to me as I fell into a chair.

"Well yeh did it so..."

"Yeah, next time I won't."

Him and I both knew that wasn't true.

I sometimes envied him and his ability to be so caring regardless of how he was treated. If anything I found Matt to be a great guy, and if there was one person in this world that I would give my right arm for it would be him because I knew he'd do the same no matter what shitty things I've said or done.

The hours passed too quickly for my liking and Matt had to basically drag me to Oli's. I wasn't in the mood to be around happy, overly excited people today.

"Oh hey guys!" Lexi said opening the door with a smile.

I forced myself to return it though and handed her the present I had supposedly gotten for the child.

"Awe, thanks Lee."

"No problem." I said with a nod as I walked further into the house.

It was already a bit compacted and I didn't know if that was because the balloons were too much or because there were other children I didn't know running around.

"Oh yeh came." Matty said patting my shoulder and I rolled my eyes, "why does everyone fink I won't show up ta shit?!"

"Watch your mouth. There are children here." Macy said smacking my arm and I groaned, "I'm juss gonna go sit down and not talk ok?"

"Good idea." Matty joked.

I spotted Jona conveniently sitting on the couch and I made my way to him dodging children as I did so.

"I hate kids." I mumbled and he laughed, "don't hold back there, mate."

"I won't." I mumbled as Kerri joined us.

"Surprising..."

"Bite meh." I grumbled causing her to laugh.

"Oh my god I hate kids!" Some girl said throwing herself beside Kerri and my eyes instantly shot to her.

Kerri laughed, "way to be subtle."

"I'm just saying. There is too many here." She said softer and I couldn't help but chuckle, "Agreed."

"Ellie." She said holding her hand out and Jona stifled a laugh.

I couldn't fight the grin that hit my lips at the girls straight forward gesture.

"Lee." I said taking up her hand.

"Ellie, Lee. Sort of sounds the same. Sort of..." she said in thought and Kerri laughed, "Ignore her. She should be on medication."

"Yes, medication that makes me not want to kill children."

"In that case, I need some as well." I said leaning back in my seat trying not to stare at the unusual girl.

I had decided, the instant her hand hit mine, that she was going to be my 'tonight'. That was my way of putting it nicely.

"There yeh are!" I heard causing me to look back at the girl who now was being engulfed by the arms of our merch guy, Max.

"Fought yeh had killed a child." He said snickering.

"Never...well...." she said causing Jona and Kerri to laugh.

"Is this yeh bird?" I asked clearly taking too much interest into the situation, but he just ruined a thought out plan.

"Oh yeah! Sorrah, I don't introduce her anymore. She's an inconvenience." He said causing her to smack his arm.

Weren't all girls inconvenient?

"Didn't even know yeh liked girls mate." I joked and he rolled his eyes, "Well, if she isn't she can pretend reallah well."

"Really? I didn't think he liked girls either. Did you really think that?" She asked me causing me to laugh and Max's mouth to fall open.

"I reallah did." I said with a grin.

Something told me I still had a chance regardless of Max.

I wasn't one to give up on a challenge. If anything the game this could turn into excited me.

The depressed Lee I experienced on the drive here was officially gone and the confident one was now in tact.

Let the games begin...