It Won't Be Christmas Without You

“Come on, Paige. You have to come. You know I’m not close with a lot of the other wives and girlfriends and I feel like they’re totally going to judge me the entire time. Especially since Tyler and I haven’t been dating that long and we already live together. If you come over and help me set things up for the party, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Aimee pleads with me over the phone.

I feel for her, but I’m not ready to see him. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Aimee. I haven’t seen him in over a month and I don’t want things to be awkward at your party. I’m sure you’ll do fine without me.”

“You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you? Tyler said he might not even come. It’s going to be really fun, I promise. Please come, Paige. I need you,” she says in a voice bordering on whiny.

I know for a fact he would most likely be there. He has never been one to shy away from social gatherings, especially ones that include alcohol. “He’s going to be there, but I guess I can help you set up. I’m not staying long.”

Aimee lets out a loud sigh. “Oh thank God. Calling my sister in Rochester was going to be my last hope. I promise things won’t be awkward for you.”

I highly doubt that, but I don’t say anything. “Alright, I’ll see you on Friday.”

“Hey Paige! Don’t forget to wear an ugly sweater,” Aimee says before the phone clicks.

I set down my phone and put my face in my hands. This is a terrible life decision. I don’t even know what I’ll say or do if I see him. All we did was kiss. Something so simple, yet I’m too chicken shit to talk about it, so I went to my defense mechanism; I ran away from the issue.

~*~*~

Gerbe and I spent more time than I’d care to admit at a local Goodwill trying to find the perfect ugly sweaters to wear to Ennis and his girlfriend Aimee’s ugly sweater party. Gerbe settles on a red and white stripped sweater with huge candy canes complete with sparkles on it. I’m pretty sure it’s a woman’s sweater, but whatever. Finding a sweater to fit my lanky, tall frame is more of a challenge, but I’m able to find green sweater with a terrible zig zag pattern that’s a little short on me, but it’ll suffice.

“Dude, you have to get some reindeer antlers or something. That sweater sucks,” Gerbe comments.

I’m not exactly excited to go to this party since there’s a good chance Paige will be there. She and Aimee are good friends, and that’s actually how I met her in the first place. Things are so complicated between us and we haven’t spoken in about a month. I want to talk to her. I feel like I have all these things to say, but I get all nervous and tongue tied when she’s around.

I kissed her, or maybe she kissed me. The lines are blurred as to who went for it, but it happened. I was taking her home after we’d gone out after a game. I walked her up to her door and the next thing I knew, we were kissing. Paige pulled back and her face got bright red, and she rushed inside her apartment without another word. She was clearly embarrassed and I haven’t seen or spoken to her since, but it’s not for a lack of trying. I called her several times and left numerous texts with no response before finally giving up.

Now I find myself walking into Ennis and Aimee’s condo wearing my new sweater and a pair of reindeer antlers Gerbe made me buy at Target. I feel like an idiot, but that quickly subsides when I see what others are wearing.

“Tyler! I’m so glad you could make it,” Aimee says, reaching up to pull me into a hug. I feel like a freaking giraffe next to her. She has on a red sweater with snowmen on it, a dark green skirt, and Santa hat. She looks cute with her long blonde hair cascading down her shoulders.

Ennis is standing next to her wearing a green sweater with a Santa Claus on it and matching elf ears on his head. I can’t help but laugh. “That’s a great look for you, Ennis,” I tell him.

“Like you can say much. You’re the one wearing reindeer ears,” he scoffs.

I can’t argue with that so I don’t say anything. “Ty, why don’t you go into the kitchen? I have a gingerbread house in there that I need to set out before everyone gets here. Grab a beer from the fridge while you’re in there,” Aimee says.

I nod and head into the kitchen. As soon as I’m in the door, I screech to halt because she’s in here too, putting on the finishing touches to the gingerbread house. She has on a white apron and her strawberry blonde hair is hanging loosely around her shoulders. She’s looks perfect.

I clear my throat to get her attention. She looks up and our eyes lock for a few seconds. “Hey,” is the best opening line I can come up with.

“Hi,” she says, before quickly turning back to her task.

“How’ve you been?” I ask, moving a little closer to her.

“Fine. Yourself?”

“I’m ok. Busy with hockey, the usual.”

“That’s good.”

It’s painfully obvious this conversation is awkward for both of us, but I’m barely getting more than two words out of her. “I’m supposed to take the gingerbread house out there whenever you’re finished,” I reply lamely.

She looks up at me again. “I just have a few thing to add and I’ll be out of here.”

“You’re not staying?”

“I told Aimee I’d help her set things up, but I have to get going soon.”

“Oh, ok. Look, I feel like we should talk about what happened-” I start to say, but I’m cut off by Paige shoving the gingerbread house in my hands.

“It’s all done. I better get going. I have some stuff to work on at home,” she says, taking off the apron and setting it on the counter. I see the sweater she’s wearing is a little too big for her and it has a Christmas tree on it.

She rushes out of the kitchen before I can say anything. I follow her out to the living room just in time to see her put on her coat and give Aimee a hug. I put the gingerbread house down on the dining room table and watch as she walks out the door.

~*~*~

I had to get out of there as soon as possible. Seeing Tyler was harder than I thought it would be. He’s wearing the most ridiculous set of reindeer antlers that practically reach the ceiling at his height and one of the ugliest sweaters I’ve ever seen. He looks adorable. I know I’m probably being immature about the whole thing, but I can’t handle hearing him tell me the kiss was a mistake and he thinks of me only as a friend.

I get inside my car and turn on the ignition, letting it heat up before I leave. I put my head against the steering wheel and try to collect myself. I nearly have a heart attack when I hear someone pounding on my window and look up to see Tyler on the other side.

I roll down the window halfway. “What? Did I forget something?” I ask.

“We need to talk,” he blurts.

“It’s cold out, Tyler. Go back upstairs and have fun at the party.”

“No. I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me.”

I bite my lip and think this is the last thing I’d like to be doing right now before giving in. “Fine. You have three minutes,” I say before unlocking the car door.

Tyler jogs around to the other side and gets in. He automatically turns toward me and stares at me for a few seconds. It’s unnerving. “OK, listen. I’m not going to bullshit my way around this anymore. I like you, Paige. A lot. And when we kissed last month, I wanted to kiss you. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time but didn’t have the balls to tell you how much I like you,” he says, all in one breath. “I don’t know if you feel the same way about me, but I don’t like you ignoring my calls and texts and not getting to hang out with you all the time. If you only like me as a friend, that’s fine. I can live with that, but this Christmas won’t be Christmas without you, Paige,” he finishes.

His big blue eyes are searching mine and he seems vulnerable and the complete opposite of what I’m used to. The Tyler I know is confident, self-assured, and even a little arrogant at times. I don’t know what to make of this, but I know I need a minute to process what he’s just said to me. If he just told me he likes me, then I’ve been a complete fool for running away for the past month…

“What does that mean?” I say suddenly.

“What does what mean?” he asks, confused.

“What does this Christmas won’t be Christmas without me mean?”

“It means I want to spend this Christmas with you and only you. It means I’m crazy about you but a complete pussy for being scared you don’t feel the same way. It means-”

“It means I feel the same way about you,” I say, cutting him off. Tyler looks at me in surprise. “It means I’m just as much of a pussy as you. When we kissed, I ran away because I was scared you didn’t mean to and I was embarrassed and-”

This time I’m the one cut off, but this time it’s by Tyler’s mouth. He puts his long arms around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. It’s sweet and tender and hot all at the same time. His lips are soft and gentle and even better then I remember. I snake my arm around his neck to pull him closer, but when I do, the reindeer antlers hit the roof of my car at an awkward angle, causing Tyler to be momentarily stuck. I look up at the antlers and get a fit of the giggles. Tyler joins in and we’re both cracking up at the situation.

He takes them off and throws them in the back seat of my car before turning back to me, he looks serious all of a sudden. “So, if we both feel the same way about each other, I think there’s only one thing I want for Christmas,” he says.

“What’s that?”

“I want you to be my girlfriend.”

I can’t stop the grin from spreading across my face. “Interesting you should want that, because the only thing I want for Christmas is for you to be my boyfriend.”

A grin mirroring my own appears on Tyler’s face. “I think that can be arranged,” he whispers, before pulling me in for another kiss.

When we finally pull back, I look into Tyler’s eyes and smile. “Best Christmas present ever.”